Meet the Other Phone. Protection built in.

Meet the Other Phone.
Protection built in.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

The “Cycling Send-Off Woman.” What the hell?

813 replies

4cats4kids · 31/05/2021 16:41

Sorry if this sounds petty, but the most terrible woman came to my house yesterday and I still can’t believe the audacity of her. My husband is in a cycling training team and one of the things they do is meet at 7am on a Sunday morning at a cafe and then they go off out of London on their various routes. This has been going on years and they are basically cycling round the world in stages (as part of a larger group).

So apparently, this weekend was “our turn” to do lunch for this lot - a.k.a “my turn” (but don’t worry, I will not be making a habit of it). I was expecting about 8 who are all men, but this atrocious woman turned up in a sports car before them and was sitting on the drive waiting until they came. I thought she must be something to do with nextdoor (shared driveway), but when they showed up on the bikes she came in with them.

My husband was kind of mouthing, “sorry” to me and they all looked embarrassed. Then he tells me, he’s really sorry, but this is “the cycling send-off woman” Confused and today she has followed them in the car. So basically, I have since found out that this nut job of a woman seems to think she is in the cycling team and turns up at the crack of dawn when they meet and in all weathers, though she never actually cycles with them. Apparently, she always says she will join them one day, but never does. She doesn’t even have the right kind of bike, her bike is apparently more a shopping bike with streamers on the handlebars like a 4 year-old! Once she did cycle with them, but only for about a mile as she couldn’t keep up. She wears really short shorts and brings them all muffins and god knows what apparently at 7am Hmm. DH says they never eat them. Also, she waves pom-poms when they leave. I couldn’t believe it. I asked my husband why he’s never mentioned her before and I said it’s fairly obvious why she’s showing up. He just said they don’t know why she comes and they all think she’s mad. On this day, she had driven to some other cafe where they stop in Surrey because it was a nice day and she fancied the drive. Then she took it upon herself to turn up for lunch because she thinks she’s in the cycling club!

She is like something from Ab Fab and really loud. They were in the garden and there I was, backwards and forwards, while she was going on about how she’s just bought a Zwift, but she can’t seem to get it set up, so could any of them come over to her house and set it up for her (nobody offered and it was very awkward). I also heard her tell my husband (loudly) that she’d really like to bring her son to his boxing club and maybe he could he train them both? It was so very strange. As if! Also, she wasn’t exactly making an effort to talk to me. How rude. I have never come across a woman like this in my life. She is late 40s - who behaves like this?

AIBU to be annoyed that this happened at all? My husband has apologised but seems to think it’s a joke. He doesn’t get it at all. These men are late 40s and collectively, should be able to get rid of this lunatic. He says it’s a public cafe and there’s lots of people there and they can’t really stop her. Well, just find a different place to meet then!

OP posts:
Dyrne · 31/05/2021 20:51

Wow @lljkk that club looks amazing - exactly my level of “cycle for a bit then stop at a lovely cafe/pub” Thanks for the link!

Cakeofdoom · 31/05/2021 20:55

@CandyLeBonBon

middle aged female band followers (too old to be groupies but still dress like it)

That's not only dangerously misogynistic it's also hugely ageist, and sexist.

You might want to think about that.

I don't especially.... try walking in my shoes
TheLittleRedToothbrush · 31/05/2021 21:01

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

TheChiefJo · 31/05/2021 21:02

It's a magnificent thread.

Keeping2ChevronsApart · 31/05/2021 21:03

@TheLittleRedToothbrush

I was feeling really low this evening but this thread has absolutely made my day/week/year Grin
I'm still chuckling at 'does one of them look likes he eats too many muffins even though he cycles a lot?' Grin
blacksax · 31/05/2021 21:04

@Cakeofdoom - what us guitarist's wives have to put up with, eh? Grin

4cats4kids · 31/05/2021 21:05

To be honest, this woman is evidently an eccentric type and I have no doubt about that. No woman in her right mind would behave like this. It is not “unsisterly” to wonder what the hell she thought she was doing. Who would show up at 7am for a bike ride you never even go on? Let alone the Pom poms and this extra level of madness.

Some women are not “women’s women” and, to me, she is one of those. You can tell this when women don’t make eye contact with you. She is super-posh and very loud. She also did a kind squawking laugh which seemed OTT to me. She didn’t seem genuine to me. I think this is what I’m trying to say.

I have entertained DH’s work colleagues and all sorts on many occasions and some of these are occasionally women and I can safely say I have no issue with other women whatsoever. This one is strange though. Not because I think my husband is having an affair with her. I just can’t understand why anyone would behave like this.

OP posts:
CandyLeBonBon · 31/05/2021 21:06

Oh dear @Cakeofdoom

I don't have to

CrikeyPeg · 31/05/2021 21:07

@Gwenhwyfar

"Pom Pom woman behaved very rudely to OP in her own home, having never met her before and when OP was feeding her. That's rude and weird."

Looking at the OP again, she was loud and didn't make much of an effort to talk to OP. I don't see that as being so rude. I'd probably say thank you very much to the host, but spend most of my time talking to people I know. I don't understand why OP's husband doesn't do the hosting himself anyway.

I agree @Gwenhwyfar. I'm getting a whiff of that ridiculous unwritten rule that men talk to men and the little wimmen talk amongst themselves.

Does PomPom not show up every Sunday to wave them off? If so, what's so unusual about her turning on on this particular Sunday? And does she turn up for every lunch? It doesn't sound like she was particularly honing in on 4cats husband, apart from the boxing comment.

Kinda interested to know what PomPom looks like now.

ChubbyLittleManInACampervan · 31/05/2021 21:08

I am imagining her like Mel in “flight of the conchords” ... a super fan (on a bike! Bringing cookies Grin)

SilverBirchWithout · 31/05/2021 21:10

I think there’s a great solution to this issue. Weird Pom-Pom woman could provide the lunch catering, everyone happy!

CandyLeBonBon · 31/05/2021 21:10

I swear someone is using this thread to write some ridiculous Richard Harris play. I think Miriam Margolys might play the op, with Timothy Spall as the op's DH.

4cats4kids · 31/05/2021 21:15

If I was to describe her, she has a slight look of Joanna Lumley. She’s a little older - late 40s, maybe even 50’s, it’s hard to tell.

OP posts:
Gwenhwyfar · 31/05/2021 21:15

"How did she know where you live? Surely only your DH could have told her? "

Any of the group could have told her surely, if she usually comes along they'd presume she was allowed to have the address, wouldn't they?

BigHeadBertha · 31/05/2021 21:16

This weird woman doesn't have any business hanging around with other women's husbands and trying so hard to get their attention. She needs to go.

Cakeofdoom · 31/05/2021 21:16

@CandyLeBonBon

Oh dear *@Cakeofdoom*

I don't have to

You empathise with my predicament thus
CandyLeBonBon · 31/05/2021 21:17

@4cats4kids

If I was to describe her, she has a slight look of Joanna Lumley. She’s a little older - late 40s, maybe even 50’s, it’s hard to tell.
Shock horror at an early fifties woman shaking her pom-poms unnecessarily.

Especially when she looks like Joanna Lumley.

The Shame!

Ostara212 · 31/05/2021 21:17

They obviously like having a cheerleader but then why don't they just say so? Odd.

DrSbaitso · 31/05/2021 21:18

@Cakeofdoom

I don't know if this is a comparator or not but my DH is a musician and plays in a number of bands locally, one of which has a big local following - there are middle aged female band followers (too old to be groupies but still dress like it) that think they have some sort of ownership of the band, particularly my DH as he is the guitarist. They ignore me if i'm at a gig make contact with the band members via social media. I've been out socially with my DH and women will push me aside to talk to him and totally blank me... It's all quite bizarre, it's not like they are the bloody Foo Fighters...but these women are a strange breed and this is a 'thing' for them. They wear the band T shirts and follow them from gig to gig.... It sounds like the cycling is this women's 'gig' and she has ingratiated herself quite spectacularly into the inner circle ....She also sounds like a full on full moon loon...
Ah, you need to date the drummer. Nobody gives a shit about the drummer!
CandyLeBonBon · 31/05/2021 21:18

@Cakeofdoom I can empathise with your predicament without resorting to misogynistic sexist comments.

Ostara212 · 31/05/2021 21:18

@BigHeadBertha

This weird woman doesn't have any business hanging around with other women's husbands and trying so hard to get their attention. She needs to go.
They've invited her though. Someone have the number for her to be on the WhatsApp.
Ostara212 · 31/05/2021 21:18

*gave

Unsubscribed · 31/05/2021 21:19

What a brilliant thread. I'm with OP, this woman would have irritated the shit out of me. I'd be volunteering to prepare the next lunch so I could be prepared for her arrival and get ready block entry !

Gwenhwyfar · 31/05/2021 21:20

"I agree @Gwenhwyfar. I'm getting a whiff of that ridiculous unwritten rule that men talk to men and the little wimmen talk amongst themselves."

I wonder if OP actually thinks Pom Pom should have been helping in the kitchen with her.

Gwenhwyfar · 31/05/2021 21:21

@Unsubscribed

What a brilliant thread. I'm with OP, this woman would have irritated the shit out of me. I'd be volunteering to prepare the next lunch so I could be prepared for her arrival and get ready block entry !
I think she sounds like the most interesting thing about this cycling club.