Guy I've been on dates with has slept with someone else..aibu to be put off him?

[rachelsunshine]

I've had 3 dates with a guy and had a good time each time.
Tomorrow we have a date and we have booked for drinks and a meal.

He was out last night on a lads night out.
He has just text telling me he slept with someone last night and he wanted to be honest.
He said he still wants to see me tomorrow and hopes I still want to see him.
Aibu to be put off?
Would you still go ?

I'd appreciate the honesty but bow out. I'd have too many questions that I wouldn't really have the right to ask; someone he knows, likely to happen again, used contraception, STD test...

He’s weighing up his options- he likely has the other girls number now and wants to see if he can repeat last night. All normal behaviour for someone not looking for anything serious.

Depends on what you want now.

No, I wouldn’t want to meet up. Do you think he has told you to put you off?

Have you discussed dating exclusively? If not, I don't see that he's done anything wrong.

If you find it too weird though then you don't have to keep saying him.

I guess he’s testing how desperate you are and how much shit you’ll take. Plus maybe if you know other women will shag him maybe you’ll step up and do the same. Get you a bit jealous.

Personally it would be a no from me.

He’s checking your boundaries or try making you jealous. Either way not a catch.

I would reply something like thank you for your honesty, while you can absolutely do what you want and have done nothing wrong I’m not into men that sleep around. Good luck with dating. X

@CagneyNYPD

I would send a message like "Thank you for your honesty, I really do appreciate it. I think I will be giving today a miss. Enjoy the rest of the weekend". And then leave it there. No drama.

This ^

He's not in the wrong. His honesty is completely ok. You both know where things are, it's up to you if you're ok with this. You're not. Just be equally honest and wish him well on his way.

No way, at least you have found out and can move on.

I would be turned off too.

For other reasons besides the ones mentioned (which I agree with). A man who can 'get' sex that easily is going to be a hard dog to keep on the porch.

Bin Him.

@Bluntness100

I guess he’s testing how desperate you are and how much shit you’ll take. Plus maybe if you know other women will shag him maybe you’ll step up and do the same. Get you a bit jealous.

Personally it would be a no from me.

I agree with all of this.

Aibu to be put off? Nope.
Would you still go? Unless you enjoy wasting your own time with jackoff time bandits, nope.

No way. Bin!

What about covid ?
I think it’s yuck

@Penistoe

He’s checking your boundaries or try making you jealous. Either way not a catch.

I would reply something like thank you for your honesty, while you can absolutely do what you want and have done nothing wrong I’m not into men that sleep around. Good luck with dating. X

This too. As well as checking her boundaries, yes, trying to make himself seem high status.................

It would be “Thanks for telling me. Goodbye.” from me. I have absolutely no time for manipulative game playing like this.

I think they do this when they're dating someone who's "making them wait". Getting their end away with someone "easy" while they wait for the one they like to put out.

Grim.

So he's seen you for the last two weekends, he's supposed to be seeing you again tomorrow for a third date - yet, whilst he's supposed to be showing interest in developing a relationship with you he's gone out and shagged someone else - told you - and hopes you're ok with it?

Not a fucking chance.

I wouldn't go any further with him. Telling you about this seems to me like he is testing the waters, to see if you're a cool person who is fine with him shagging around. No thanks.

Have things been going well?

If I got that message I would take it that he is making things clear that he is still very much open to meeting others and what you have going on isn't anything serious.

If you are looking for a fwb situation then go ahead and meet him again. If you were thinking of something more serious, then I'd give him a swerve.

No I wouldn’t go.

He’s clearly not that into you if he’s sleeping with other people.

Find someone who wants to be with you

He hasn’t done anything wrong but he’s obviously not prepared to wait for sex even if he likes someone after two or three dates

It could be a cackhanded attempt at starting a conversation about exclusivity but nah, it's game playing either way

It could also be a pre-relegation move.
It may or may not have happened, but maybe his friends have said to him, a fourth date with this same woman, oooh you'll be telling us next you're not joining us on our nights out. So he wants you to know he's not changing.

That is WILD speculation, but a possible theory. I do think it's so odd that he told you.