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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU by not introducing our DSs to football?

340 replies

4fingerKitKat · 29/05/2021 08:39

I have two early primary age DS. Neither DH or I have any interest in football (watching or playing), as a result football has never been any part of their lives. I discovered recently that the oldest (7) doesn’t even know the basic vocabulary of football (to score a goal etc). They are active in other ways but never kick a ball around (and don’t do other team sports other than at school).

I worry a bit that we’re depriving them of something which is almost a basic life skill, especially for boys.

YABU - yes they should at least have basic footballing skills

YANBU - just let them run and climb trees and the things they already enjoy

OP posts:
fedupandfiredup · 29/05/2021 08:40

Do they play it at school with their friends?

Original poster
4fingerKitKat · 29/05/2021 08:41

@fedupandfiredup

Do they play it at school with their friends?
No, only when it’s part of organised PE.
OP posts:
Aprilwasverywet · 29/05/2021 08:41

Ime they will be left out a lot if they can't at least have a kick about...
A few of my ds's have extensive amounts of football trophies... The others at least can join in a family kick about..

Alyssasbackrolls · 29/05/2021 08:42

Mine, now 11 and 14 couldn't give a flying crap about it! Never have!

Checkingout811 · 29/05/2021 08:43

Agree with a PP that they’ll probably end up being left out.
Although I’m surprised a child gets to 7 without knowing what scoring a goal is.

lavenderandwisteria · 29/05/2021 08:43

My brother never had any interest either, which I think disappointed my dad a little bit. He always loved exercise, just wasn’t really into team sports. I don’t think it would harm them but might not be a bad idea for them to know the basics, if only for sociable reasons Smile

DancesWithTortoises · 29/05/2021 08:43

Fortunate both DSs were as not interested in football as their parents.

sagegreentree · 29/05/2021 08:43

We were the same with our DS - he's now 8 and asking to go to classes because his friends all play.

I'm inclined to let him as it's exercise and I encourage that in all forms!

I dread him turning out to be good and having to go to lots of games though, bores us stupid!

wickedwitchofthedance · 29/05/2021 08:44

Mine are 8&9 and couldn't care less about football. If most ppl are playing it they will join in but aren't very good lol.

OverTheRubicon · 29/05/2021 08:45

My older ds doesn't like it at all, and that really has been quite tricky for him socially at times. He's had friendships fade out because even a lot of the boys who aren't really into it will spend lunch having a kick about. I wouldn't do things differently because he's always been really anti, but with a child who was just ambivalent, I'd probably be trying to help them learn the basics then leave anything further up to them.

I don't think you need to put them into football clubs or force it if they're not interested at all, but I would occasionally take a ball out to the park if they might enjoy it, as one of many other things you do.

KingdomScrolls · 29/05/2021 08:45

We don't watch football ,DH has no interest and I used to watch when I lived at home and my dad and brother were watching but there are other things I'd rather do, DS is two and kicks the balls he has (not footballs) and talks about scoring goals and being the winner. That hasn't come from us so I'm surprised your DS has reached 7 without kicking a ball or what a goal is.

Restlessinthenorth · 29/05/2021 08:46

There will be football going on in their playgrounds at school. If they have any interest they will likely get involved and so take their lead.

I would say that encouraging being involved in a team sport (any sport, doesn't have to be football), is really positive for children. Aside from the health benefits, it's learning rules, being a team player, developing friendships, motivation, sense of self etc. My primary aged daughter and son both play football. It consumes our weekends. There are MANY other things I would like to be doing, but the benefits to them are massive. That's why I am happy to facilitate it

Original poster
4fingerKitKat · 29/05/2021 08:47

@Checkingout811

Agree with a PP that they’ll probably end up being left out. Although I’m surprised a child gets to 7 without knowing what scoring a goal is.
He knows the basic objective of the game Grin but he wasn’t calling it “scoring a goal” - I can’t remember what he said instead now “goaling point” or something weird Confused - it did make me think ‘oh crumbs we’ve got a problem here’!
OP posts:
Fabuleuse · 29/05/2021 08:48

My oldest is nearly 7 and similarly to yours, he has never really been introduced to it. He kicks a ball around with his dad very occasionally for a few minutes and has watched bits of a match. It's only the older boys who seem to play football at all at his school.

picturesandpickles · 29/05/2021 08:48

Why does everyone have to be the same?

My kids also never knew much about football. They are happy young adults.

Focus on what you like and what they like.

Florin · 29/05/2021 08:49

We didn’t introduce our son to football as it’s neither of our thing but he plays at school and he is seriously into another sport. He is now nearly 9 and his friends have got him into it he lives in football boots and has chosen his team and loves watching it on tv if they want it they will find it!

Zoladrama · 29/05/2021 08:49

Well it's obviously up to you. Personally I'm really glad mine got into football. He's 13 now and trains twice a week, plays matches once or twice a week and goes out to play footie with his friends most days. Keeps him fit. He also always played for the school team at primary school. It definitely helps cement friendships but it's also great for their confidence, being part of a team.
Yes I have to get up at ridiculous o'clock on Sundays and stand watching in all weather's but I've grown to love it and I know he appreciates my support.

JemimaJoy · 29/05/2021 08:50

In my hometown football is really unpopular with kids and teens and young people - it's all skateboards and BMX. I don't think a boy will be left out if they can't play football. Would people be saying the same for daughters?

Just seems like a bit of an outdated idea.

MrsTophamHat · 29/05/2021 08:51

I think have some knowedge of it is a form of "cultural capital" for them. Especially as they get older, they may find ot embarrassing to not know the rudimentals. That's not to say that they need to play themselves but a basic knowledge of the game, some of the big teams big teams and players would help.

CoffeeCakey · 29/05/2021 08:52

I think it would help if they could kick a ball but YANBU. For some reason people let their children get obsessed with football.

HunterHearstHelmsley · 29/05/2021 08:52

I'm a huge football fan. Its always been part of my life, I remember my mum watching games when I was a toddler.

However, I don't think it's necessary for them to know how to play. Maybe understanding the fundamental rules wouldn't hurt (they may go on a quiz show one day Grin). I don't know the rules to all sports, only the ones I'm interested in. Of course, football is the "national sport".

Like I say, huge football fan. I couldn't imagine my life without football in it. But that's not for everyone.

Mellonsprite · 29/05/2021 08:53

Not every boy likes football. If he’s interested he’ll start asking questions and building up his knowledge under his own steam.
However as a veteran mum of 2 football mad DS’s, I will say it is good exercise. There is training sessions and a match usually every week if he joins a team. DS2 just quit his team at 16 recently. I’ve done 17 years in total, Ferrying around to matches in total for both DS’. I still call it ‘football uniform’ by mistake 🙈

Hellocatshome · 29/05/2021 08:53

My 14 year old is football mad (playing not watching he finds watching a bit boring) it has been good for him increasing his confidence and making him lots of friends outside of school. My 11 year old doesn't like football he is a naturally good sportsman and his teacher tried everything to get him to play on the school team but he wasn't having it, in the end I had to phone the school and tell them to stop pressurising him. He has no idea about popular teams/players etc but will join in a kick about in the playground. I dont think not being interested in football has had a detrimental affect on him as he does plenty of other sports.

CoffeeCakey · 29/05/2021 08:54

MrsTophamHat I have no knowledge of the big teams or big players. Should I be embarrassed? Or not?

I don't think people would be worried if it was your daughter you were asking about OP. Let your son follow his own interests.

LeafBeetle · 29/05/2021 08:54

In my experience (I have a teen DS and a pre teen DS) most of the boys in the class will spend break and lunch kicking a ball around. There will be a few boys who don't like football and don't want to join in, so they will play together by default.

So, as long as he gets on well with the other boys in that group, it will be absolutely fine. But if not, it could be socially limiting for him.

Obviously this is a generalisation based on personal experience.

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