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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU by not introducing our DSs to football?

340 replies

4fingerKitKat · 29/05/2021 08:39

I have two early primary age DS. Neither DH or I have any interest in football (watching or playing), as a result football has never been any part of their lives. I discovered recently that the oldest (7) doesn’t even know the basic vocabulary of football (to score a goal etc). They are active in other ways but never kick a ball around (and don’t do other team sports other than at school).

I worry a bit that we’re depriving them of something which is almost a basic life skill, especially for boys.

YABU - yes they should at least have basic footballing skills

YANBU - just let them run and climb trees and the things they already enjoy

OP posts:
Chillychangchoo · 30/05/2021 12:08

@Sparklingbrook

I was going to say, are our sons on the same team? 😂, but then I remembered yours left uni 4 years ago, which by the way is heartening to hear. A footy lad going to university, you mean he was academic too? 😉.

Sparklingbrook · 30/05/2021 12:14

Yes @Chillychangchoo he's 22 and doing a Masters I'm surprised they let him in Grin. He plays football with a team at his work as a hobby and for fitness more than anything now.

Soontobe60 · 30/05/2021 12:17

@Checkingout811

Agree with a PP that they’ll probably end up being left out. Although I’m surprised a child gets to 7 without knowing what scoring a goal is.
A child who doesn’t like football won’t mind being ‘left out’ of playing football with his mates🤣
coogee · 30/05/2021 12:26

My husband has said that one of his worries about having children was that they would like football.

He has absolutely zero interest in it.

Sparklingbrook · 30/05/2021 12:32

@coogee

My husband has said that one of his worries about having children was that they would like football.

He has absolutely zero interest in it.

Well if football turns out to be their sport he might have to show a bit of interest. Like me and the Golf. Grin That all came about because someone from the local golf club visited the school and they had a chance to try it. I had zero influence.
Hellocatshome · 30/05/2021 13:02

My husband has said that one of his worries about having children was that they would like football.

What a strange thing to worry about, I had no interest in competitive swimming, football, cricket, fortnite, Marvel or designer clothes but my biys are interested in them so I get interested or in some cases fake interest cos thats what you do for your kids.

Sparklingbrook · 30/05/2021 13:06

Exactly @Hellocatshome, Pokemon., Spongebob Squarepants and Super Mario were not on my list of interests prior to DC but I now have a working knowledge and could hold a conversation about them.

misspattylacosta · 30/05/2021 13:21

A child who doesn’t like football won’t mind being ‘left out’ of playing football with his mates🤣

he might feel a bit sad to know all his mates are invited to a "football theme" birthday party/ sleepover, all his mates are meeting up in a park at the weekend or during the holiday...

Same with a girl who has no interest in unicorn and glitter but is surrounded by girly girls who love pamper parties. No one is saying there's anything wrong in having 0 interest in make-up and nail varnish (as a child or an adult frankly), but that child will be lonely when she is the only one not involved.

Football attracts boys and girls, so it can be even more lonely. Around here the waiting list to join a club is nearly as long for girls as it is for boys.

InTheDrunkTank · 30/05/2021 13:25

@misspattylacosta but a boy who doesn't like football is unlikely to be mates with all the football mad boys who only hold football themed meet ups with other football enthusiasts! My son doesn't like football but would be happy to have a kick around if that's what his mates are doing. Very few of them play football though.

misspattylacosta · 30/05/2021 13:32

but a boy who doesn't like football is unlikely to be mates with all the football mad boys who only hold football themed meet ups with other football enthusiasts!

why? Confused

When they are neighbours ,or all in the same class, why wouldn't they be friends?

My kids are really not bothered about football, they still get invited to football birthday parties or sleepovers. They get invited to any kind of party really, or any kind of meet up. Some themes they like more than others.

Makes life for interesting doesn't it?

buggerbuggery · 30/05/2021 13:37

Being able to kick a football is pretty basic. My own father who hated football taught us all to kick a ball when very young. I do think not teaching that is amiss.

HelpfulBelle · 30/05/2021 13:41

DS1 (8) has Asperger's/ADHD.

He has no interest in playing football. We tried to take him to team practice and he just threw grass at the other kids out of frustration. He doesn't understand the unwritten rules of team sports and freaks out when a ball comes at him out of nowhere.

I know he'll be 'left out' but he'll only be left out of the footballing group. There'll be other kids who don't like kicking a ball around.

InTheDrunkTank · 30/05/2021 13:41

@misspattylacosta Most kids make friends with kids who have similar interests. There are kids who love football and play it all the time. A kid who doesn't like football isn't going to gravitate towards that group are they? It's just common sense. Of course you don't have to love football to go to a football party. Both my kids have gone to random parties themed around hobbies they weren't that bothered about. All of this happens naturally though it's unlikely that OP's son is going to be so averse to football that he couldn't bear to spend 2 hours at a football party but he's unlikely to be one of the kids who plays football every playtime if he's not that into it.

misspattylacosta · 30/05/2021 14:21

A kid who doesn't like football isn't going to gravitate towards that group are they? It's just common sense.

it really isn't....Confused

It's just your experience, but thankfully some kids seem a bit more open-minded than yours, and many of the have multiple interests.

It's perfectly normal to meet and be friend (best friend even) with a "football mad" when they themselves are not.

More importantly you don't need to be "into football" to join a football match when you are out with friends in parks or on the beach and kick a ball around.

misspattylacosta · 30/05/2021 14:22

Remind me of that parent who threw a wobbly because the children playing football "were taken too much of the playground" and her little darling didn't have space to play and was the only one left out. Hmm

IgglePiggleHater · 30/05/2021 18:02

My husband has said that one of his worries about having children was that they would like football.

He has absolutely zero interest in it.

I have zero interest in Paw Patrol, messy play, the Gruffalo, shape sorters, dinosaurs, stickers of any sort, bubbles, slides, toy cars and teddy-bear tea parties.

I've managed ok so far. Fake it till you make it.

Coldwine75 · 30/05/2021 18:05

Never introduced our ds to it as we hate football and he did lots of other things! They are certainly not left out just because they arent into it!

CeibaTree · 30/05/2021 19:09

@Checkingout811

Agree with a PP that they’ll probably end up being left out. Although I’m surprised a child gets to 7 without knowing what scoring a goal is.
I don't think that's true at all. None of my 3 brothers had any interest in football and they had lots of friends who shared their interests. It's such a boring stereotype that all boys should be into football to fit in.
Sparklingbrook · 30/05/2021 19:30

It’s not always parents that do the ‘introducing’ to football. Sometimes DC make their own decisions about what they’d like to do. Shock

Strokethefurrywall · 30/05/2021 20:02

My boys (9&7) have zero interest in football. Well DS2 “trains” every Sunday but they don’t watch it, follow a team, wear a strip. He only “trains” because he likes playing with his friends which he also does doing other activities.

We have masses of kids where we are, sometimes they all kick a ball about, but most of the time they’re all in the pool, playing with nerf guns, or playing hide and seek.

Not liking football has not hindered their ability to make multiple groups of friends and I’m fucking delighted I don’t have to listen to anyone blather on about it.

Pottedpalm · 30/05/2021 20:05

@lavenderandwisteria

Joking aside though potted that isn’t a sociable activity and while I certainly don’t think children need to be socialising all the time it would be a bit of a shame if every lunch time was spent climbing.
You are being ridiculous. There was a climbing wall. It was in use every lunchtime. It was very popular so there would be a rota, not the same children every day. But you knew that really, I imagine.
Orpheline · 30/05/2021 20:11

I only married DH as he had zero interest in football Smile
DS was scouted from his school team, so you don't get to choose.

lavenderandwisteria · 30/05/2021 20:12

I certainly wouldn’t post to be ridiculous! I was pointing out the difference between a team sport and a solitary one.

DietrichandDiMaggio · 30/05/2021 22:01

@Hardchoices

My kids have no interest in it which I am fine about. Tbh myself and DH see it as a chavs game. You never see hockey/golf/rugby/tennis houligans do you??
You're trying to act superior by looking down on people who like football, and calling them rude names, but your lack of understanding of basic grammar rather shows you up.

Also, it's hooligans.

Chillychangchoo · 31/05/2021 08:39

When you look down on people for playing football because you and your husband thinks they’re all “houligans”. 😂😂

Please do learn to spell before you start banding about insults like that 🤣