Page 40 | To think my friend doesn’t want me as a bridesmaid because of my size...?

Dandylioness1 · 2021-05-28T20:19:28+00:00

One of my very close friends got engaged a few months ago. We’ve been friends for a long time and over the years she has always made references to me being a bridesmaid when she gets married. This afternoon she tagged 4 friends on Facebook introducing them as her “team bride”. I felt really upset about it, but still, I messaged her to say congratulations on the team bride. She replied saying she really wanted me to be a part of it but it wouldn’t have been right for me. I replied asking her what she meant by that. (SEE THE SCREENSHOT OF HER REPLY) Last year I had a baby and I’ve gained weight since becoming pregnant (nearly 3stone [blush]) I do feel awful about myself, which I’ve told my friend several times. I appreciate she thinks she’s taking my feelings into consideration, but I feel so hurt at her reasons for not asking me to be a bridesmaid. All 4 girls she’s picked are super stick thin (as is my friend) maybe size 8/10’s, I’m a size 16/18 and I can’t help but feel I’d ruin the “image” if she picked me and that’s exactly why she hasn’t asked me. She is right that I wouldn’t feel great in that dress right now, but her wedding isn’t until May next year which would’ve given me plenty of time to lose some weight!! AIBU to think she doesn’t want me in her team bride because of how I look, she’s thinking more about having “perfect” pictures, and just using my feelings as an excuse?

SheldonesqueTheBstard · 30/05/2021 00:05

Think bee was quoting a pp weary

Wearywithteens · 30/05/2021 00:08

This reply has been withdrawn

This has been withdrawn at the poster's request.

SheldonesqueTheBstard · 30/05/2021 00:11

Jealous of your quaffing weary

No chance of that for me tonight. Enjoy!

Wearywithteens · 30/05/2021 00:13

This reply has been withdrawn

This has been withdrawn at the poster's request.

Asherline · 30/05/2021 00:34

Why would you want to be a bridesmaid to that kind of person! She's done you a favour dump her and find a bettter friend who cares about you!
My best friend will always trump a dress. I'd be happy she came in overalls to be with me than fuck her off like that xx

BensonStabler · 30/05/2021 01:53

Not only is she insulting your body,
insulting your friendship,
She is insulting your intelligence...
Expecting you to be dumb enough to buy that bullshit.

I'm so sorry she is not a genuine friend and you are worth a million of her. I'd be done. Definitely do not waste your time, energy and money on going to hen, wedding, gift, outfit etc only to sit there on the day hurt all over again and feeling left out and worthless. Be honest with her that you see through her lies, vanity and manipulation. Hugs xx

BensonStabler · 30/05/2021 02:00

Spot on come back from @Holly60 🤣🤣🤣

PinkSatinMoon · 30/05/2021 02:08

The problem is all eyes would have been on you, not the bride. It's her day. My cousin is obese and she was bridesmaid. It was awkward, she couldn't fit through the door with her partner. It was really embarassing for all of us. You won't loose the weight for thd wedding, because quite frankly why should you loose weight for someone else.

This has to be the most disgusting thing I ever read on Mumsnet...

Shameful and vile 😳

Myusernameisnotmyusernameno · 30/05/2021 02:35

I agree it's absolutely disgusting

Myusernameisnotmyusernameno · 30/05/2021 02:36

@LunaLula83

The problem is all eyes would have been on you, not the bride. It's her day. My cousin is obese and she was bridesmaid. It was awkward, she couldn't fit through the door with her partner. It was really embarassing for all of us. You won't loose the weight for thd wedding, because quite frankly why should you loose weight for someone else.

What a vile thing to write

PaulineD73 · 30/05/2021 04:27

I think any true friend would want you to be yourself and not put any pressure on yourself to lose the weight, bare in mind you have recently had a baby. We are all different shapes and sizes and no body is perfect. That's fine if the bride has got her heart set on the bridesmaids dresses , but yours could be slight different and tailored to suit you and your body shape. Reading the message she has sent you she hasnt really asked about your feelings/ideas. I completely understand it's the 'brides' wedding day but also feel she is being a little selfish on having the perfect pictures!

MollyGaves · 30/05/2021 05:04

If she were a true friend she’d have discussed it with you face to face. Ok yes I’m sure we all want the perfect wedding, but we all want our friends to be with us on that day. She could have asked you about the style of dress and your thoughts. You might have thought, wow, I’d love to wear that dress, and as you say May is way off and you’d have time to get into a dress like that.
Have the last laugh, turn up dazzling and beautiful and make her feel like the ‘not friend’ she’s being.

anon12345678901 · 30/05/2021 05:44

@LunaLula83

The problem is all eyes would have been on you, not the bride. It's her day. My cousin is obese and she was bridesmaid. It was awkward, she couldn't fit through the door with her partner. It was really embarassing for all of us. You won't loose the weight for thd wedding, because quite frankly why should you loose weight for someone else.

You are disgusting.

LobotomisedIceSkatingFan · 30/05/2021 07:20

@LunaLula83 - Why the everloving fuck would 'all eyes be on' the OP? She's not a fucking sideshow attraction from a Depression-era carnival! She's a size 16-18, ffs: guests will have seen people of those dimensions before. They will not be stupefied by the sight.

Ginger1982 · 30/05/2021 07:25

@LunaLula83

The problem is all eyes would have been on you, not the bride. It's her day. My cousin is obese and she was bridesmaid. It was awkward, she couldn't fit through the door with her partner. It was really embarassing for all of us. You won't loose the weight for thd wedding, because quite frankly why should you loose weight for someone else.

Moron.

coachnhorses · 30/05/2021 07:34

Heave a huge sigh of relief

You're off the hook

MaMaD1990 · 30/05/2021 07:44

I do not understand why women behave like this around weddings. Im Getting married soon and all I want is my close friends by my side, regardless of what size they are! If it were me I'd reply back something like "Hi X, I've got to be honest here and say I'm quite surprised at your message and haven't really known what to reply. I understand you've got your heart set on a specific dress but I'm having trouble understanding why you'd leave me out in this way. I know I've mentioned I'm not happy with how my body looks at the moment (I'm actually making an effort to change that now) but it comes across as though you're worried I'm too fat to be in your wedding and photos. Is that the case? It would've been nice for you to give me the opportunity to say whether or not I'd feel comfortable in the dress you've chosen. I'm really upset at the moment and I'm trying to work through my feelings." As you're close friends, I'd be open and honest and see what she says. It's a horrible thing she's done but if she's made an error in judgement (assuming she's come at this from a good place, and not a selfish one) she should know how it's made you feel and her response will tell you what you need to know about the friendship. She'll either make it right or not - then you'll know what you want to do.

Monsteraobliqua · 30/05/2021 07:49

*LunaLula83

The problem is all eyes would have been on you, not the bride. It's her day. My cousin is obese and she was bridesmaid. It was awkward, she couldn't fit through the door with her partner. It was really embarassing for all of us. You won't loose the weight for thd wedding, because quite frankly why should you loose weight for someone else*

Why would all eyes be on a size 16-18 woman (unless she's the bride)? I've been that size due to meds. Whilst I definitely wanted to lose weight, and did, I had no trouble with doors and certainly didn't draw any crowds.

I even went to a wedding in a country where the majority of people have a naturally small build so actually was rather larger and taller than most women there. Nobody was really looking at me even then unless it was to compliment my dress, or have a chat. You know, as they would with a woman of any size.

isthismylifenow · 30/05/2021 08:05

Team bride 🙄

C'mon now ...

isthismylifenow · 30/05/2021 08:08

@LunaLula83

The problem is all eyes would have been on you, not the bride. It's her day. My cousin is obese and she was bridesmaid. It was awkward, she couldn't fit through the door with her partner. It was really embarassing for all of us. You won't loose the weight for thd wedding, because quite frankly why should you loose weight for someone else.

You are charming.

MissMaple82 · 30/05/2021 08:11

What a bridezilla and an utter bitch. You need to drop thst so called friend like a hot brick. Im actually fuming for you. Its disgusting behavior and she is NOT your friend

MissMaple82 · 30/05/2021 08:13

Politely decline her wedding invitation!!! There's not a chance in hell I'd be going

Whenwillitmakesense · 30/05/2021 08:14

@Dandylioness1can you Start a newthread so you can let us know if you reply. Thank you and hope you are feeling better about everything today 😘

TimeForTeeOff · 30/05/2021 08:16

Lose the weight then go to her wedding wearing a very tight dress and say “you were right about those dresses. They’re horrible”

lljkk · 10/12/2022 12:28

~ ~ ~ ZOMBIE ~ ~ ~

What happened @Dandylioness1, did you go to the wedding, are you still friends?