To think my friend doesn’t want me as a bridesmaid because of my size...?

[Dandylioness1]

One of my very close friends got engaged a few months ago.

We’ve been friends for a long time and over the years she has always made references to me being a bridesmaid when she gets married.

This afternoon she tagged 4 friends on Facebook
introducing them as her “team bride”.

I felt really upset about it, but still, I messaged her to say congratulations on the team bride.

She replied saying she really wanted me to be a part of it but it wouldn’t have been right for me.
I replied asking her what she meant by that.

(SEE THE SCREENSHOT OF HER REPLY)

Last year I had a baby and I’ve gained weight since becoming pregnant (nearly 3stone ) I do feel awful about myself, which I’ve told my friend several times.

I appreciate she thinks she’s taking my feelings into consideration, but I feel so hurt at her reasons for not asking me to be a bridesmaid.

All 4 girls she’s picked are super stick thin (as is my friend) maybe size 8/10’s, I’m a size 16/18 and I can’t help but feel I’d ruin the “image” if she picked me and that’s exactly why she hasn’t asked me.

She is right that I wouldn’t feel great in that dress right now, but her wedding isn’t until May next year which would’ve given me plenty of time to lose some weight!!

AIBU to think she doesn’t want me in her team bride because of how I look, she’s thinking more about having “perfect” pictures, and just using my feelings as an excuse?

That is a horrific message! Christ she needs to sort out her priorities, and using your feelings as an excuse really takes the biscuit.

I agree with PP's - you need better less shallow friends.

Xx

Utter bitch. I have an amazing friend, who despite being gorgeous, and very well turned out is a loyal and respectful friend who isn't superficial. One of her bridesmaids was a very good friend who is quite heavy - she didn't hesitate to ask her. It reflects entirely on the bride.

OP, your friend is horrid. I’d be getting rid.

Were you embarrassed for your cousin or ashamed because she was related to you?

To be honest it is hard to tell Luna.

I hope she didn’t know how awkward it was for all of you…

I’ve been the fat bridesmaid. And the ugly one to boot.

I made the bride shine and was happy to oblige.

@gingganggooleywotsit

This thread was probably created by the DM journo who published it on DM website. It’s a load of rubbish. Nobody would post an actual screenshot of a text like that, it would be too outing.

I'm starting to think the same thing...

I don't know, people have posted outing text messages in OPs before.

Here’s your reply OP:
“Ah well. I hope you and the dresses will be very happy together - but I doubt it. Fuckity bye!”

That’s terrible, I’m sorry.

I loved the PP idea of wearing a white gown on the day

OP, you might need to start a second thread!

@YesPleaseMary

Here’s your reply OP: “Ah well. I hope you and the dresses will be very happy together - but I doubt it. Fuckity bye!”

My favourite so far

Urgh what an awful specimen.

Team Bride 🤮. Sickening.

Bin her off OP, who needs “friends” like that. Hope she gets fat after having babies and her husband cheats on her with a size 0.

Jesus Christ she sounds like an absolute cunt.

she is not your friend, what a bitch

i would not be attending her wedding and frankly minimising any contact with her in the future

What a fucking bitch!

So the bridesmaid dresses are more important than who's actually inside them? Ridiculous. It makes an absolute mockery of picking bridesmaids to be honest, she could have stuck an advert in the paper for people who met her requirements!!

It may well be a blessing in disguise though, if this is how she's starting out, she's only going to get more and more 'particular' the closer the wedding gets. She sounds like a prime candidate to be one of those bridezillas that would ask you to dye your hair a specific colour etc!!!

Is she had truly taken you seriously, and had your best interest at heart she would have let YOU decide! She said yes to the dress and no to the friend. And she is an utter cunt. Sorry it came to this. Please do be honest to her about how you feel. Hope it won't be windy on her big day, they might all blow away. (Sorry thin people)

Oh I’d be attending the wedding. Most definitely.

I’d be rocking up looking absolutely bloody stunning. I’d be going all out with the hair, make up and drop dead gorgeous outfit. Look at my dress now bitch. Everyone else is.

@shouldistop I wasn't clear in my post. I was very much a bridesmaid. My sister chose a strapless, short, prom style dress. I took the material, added some and got a cover up. THEN I was told I wasn't required any longer.

God- she's a bitch!

Unfriend her (in real life, not just on social media); she doesn't deserve your friendship!

I’d reply “thanks for your concern about my fatness. Order me a 14 and I’ll see you in church... or is that still too fat for you?”

The problem is all eyes would have been on you, not the bride. It's her day. My cousin is obese and she was bridesmaid. It was awkward, she couldn't fit through the door with her partner. It was really embarassing for all of us. You won't loose the weight for thd wedding, because quite frankly why should you loose weight for someone else.

Omfg! You're either the bride or another superficial cow. Oh and think before you type.

I can top this! I was a bridesmaid at a wedding where the style of the dresses (and sizes) were chosen ignoring the size of the bridesmaids....one (despite alterations) fell down constantly and another split at the seem everytime the wearer sat down. People go a little crazy when planning weddings....if she is a good friend forgive her as she probably meant well (or the brisezilla has fried her brain).

Would you have felt uncomfortable in that style dress though? I don’t think it’s anything against your style but presumably she knows what you style is and your close enough that she feels you may be self conscious In that dress.