Page 38 | To think my friend doesn’t want me as a bridesmaid because of my size...?

Dandylioness1 · 2021-05-28T20:19:28+00:00

One of my very close friends got engaged a few months ago. We’ve been friends for a long time and over the years she has always made references to me being a bridesmaid when she gets married. This afternoon she tagged 4 friends on Facebook introducing them as her “team bride”. I felt really upset about it, but still, I messaged her to say congratulations on the team bride. She replied saying she really wanted me to be a part of it but it wouldn’t have been right for me. I replied asking her what she meant by that. (SEE THE SCREENSHOT OF HER REPLY) Last year I had a baby and I’ve gained weight since becoming pregnant (nearly 3stone [blush]) I do feel awful about myself, which I’ve told my friend several times. I appreciate she thinks she’s taking my feelings into consideration, but I feel so hurt at her reasons for not asking me to be a bridesmaid. All 4 girls she’s picked are super stick thin (as is my friend) maybe size 8/10’s, I’m a size 16/18 and I can’t help but feel I’d ruin the “image” if she picked me and that’s exactly why she hasn’t asked me. She is right that I wouldn’t feel great in that dress right now, but her wedding isn’t until May next year which would’ve given me plenty of time to lose some weight!! AIBU to think she doesn’t want me in her team bride because of how I look, she’s thinking more about having “perfect” pictures, and just using my feelings as an excuse?

Aspiringmatriarch · 29/05/2021 18:44

@LunaLula83

The problem is all eyes would have been on you, not the bride. It's her day. My cousin is obese and she was bridesmaid. It was awkward, she couldn't fit through the door with her partner. It was really embarassing for all of us. You won't loose the weight for thd wedding, because quite frankly why should you loose weight for someone else.

That is such a ridiculous comment!

Kteeb1 · 29/05/2021 18:44

If she was truly taking your feelings into consideration then she would have asked what your feelings were before letting you find out from social media. It's all about the image. Which is very hurtful. At least you know for sure what kind of person she is and you can steer clear and concentrate on those who love you for who you are, not what you look like.

Talkwhilstyouwalk · 29/05/2021 18:50

OMFG - so shocking that this could end up in the daily mail. Ditch the friend, she sounds like a superficial cow!

DeadButDelicious · 29/05/2021 18:53

When I got married I took my bridesmaids to pick out dresses and told them specifically to pick something they would be comfortable in. The only stipulation was the colour other than that they pretty much had free reign. I wanted them in my wedding because I love them both and that matters so much more than any 'look'.

This woman is looking for clothes horses not bridesmaids. I would count myself lucky OP, you've dodged a bullet.

Nayday · 29/05/2021 18:56

@LunaLula83 WTAF is wrong with you? 16/18 is hardly huge and even if she were bigger, who gives a FF - she's still a person - be kind and all that (that in actual scenarios people seem to forget about).

youvegottenminuteslynn · 29/05/2021 18:58

@LunaLula83

The problem is all eyes would have been on you, not the bride. It's her day. My cousin is obese and she was bridesmaid. It was awkward, she couldn't fit through the door with her partner. It was really embarassing for all of us. You won't loose the weight for thd wedding, because quite frankly why should you loose weight for someone else.

If you think 'all eyes' would be on OP simply due to her being a size 16/18 then you have a really weird idea of what normal people are paying attention to at a wedding! You think a size 16/18 woman would have any issues at all fitting through a door? Are you a borrower? What a strange thing to think!

Matildalamp · 29/05/2021 19:00

I’d be so tempted to lose the weight, work out like mad, and wear an absolutely stunning dress to her wedding. Of course, that probably wouldn’t be the healthiest approach, losing weight as a poke in the eye to someone else

TheMatryoshka · 29/05/2021 19:01

@LunaLula83

The problem is all eyes would have been on you, not the bride. It's her day. My cousin is obese and she was bridesmaid. It was awkward, she couldn't fit through the door with her partner. It was really embarassing for all of us. You won't loose the weight for thd wedding, because quite frankly why should you loose weight for someone else.

I'm not sure if you're just being a goady fucker but this is awful. So fat people should stay at home to avoid embarrassing everyone? You must be pretty perfect then lovey

MimiDaisy11 · 29/05/2021 19:04

@LunaLula83

The problem is all eyes would have been on you, not the bride. It's her day. My cousin is obese and she was bridesmaid. It was awkward, she couldn't fit through the door with her partner. It was really embarassing for all of us. You won't loose the weight for thd wedding, because quite frankly why should you loose weight for someone else.

Behold the size 16 woman! And the crowd gasps!

I mean it is the average dress size in the UK. If you're from another country UK sizes are different.

CoffeeCakey · 29/05/2021 19:06

@LunaLula83

The problem is all eyes would have been on you, not the bride. It's her day. My cousin is obese and she was bridesmaid. It was awkward, she couldn't fit through the door with her partner. It was really embarassing for all of us. You won't loose the weight for thd wedding, because quite frankly why should you loose weight for someone else.

No all eyes would have been on the one in the massive white dress

wildeverose · 29/05/2021 19:07

This will end up in the papers
Somewhere - especially as it had the screenshot. So, she will find out she's a complete fuck knuckle one way or the other 😅

She's not your friend op, you can do so so much better!!

YorkshireLass2012 · 29/05/2021 19:07

Wow, that is brutal. I think OP had your friend made this decision to exclude you from the bridal party with your best interests in mind at the forefront, she would ideally have discussed it with you first and asked you how you felt about it rather than just put you in front of the fait accompli. This makes me think her decision was based purely on her focus on aesthetics. That is definitely not the behaviour of a good friend.
As a previous poster succinctly put it, ditch the bitch!
Big hugs to you. I hope you recover your peace of mind sooner rather than later. for you.

Jaichangecentfoisdenom · 29/05/2021 19:09

[quote Jaichangecentfoisdenom]@Dandylioness1 - in case you hadn't already realised, this thread has made The Sun. www.thesun.co.uk/fabulous/15105291/mum-gutted-best-friend-excludes-bridal-party-weight/[/quote]
@wildeverose - it's already in "The Sun".

squishymamma · 29/05/2021 19:10

This is ridiculous. I had my sisters and my closest friends as bridesmaids. One sister is a size 8 and the other was a 16 at the time. I chose those infinity dresses that can be tied a million different ways and all the bridesmaids loved them, because you can really change them to suit your body type.

I'd be finding out what dresses she's picked and wearing the same one in a different colour to the wedding

AngelDelightUk · 29/05/2021 19:10

I think my reply would be to tell her I wouldn’t be attending and to wish her luck with it. What an absolute cow

TeachesOfPeaches · 29/05/2021 19:11

Just had this thread pop up on Twitter.

Welshgal85 · 29/05/2021 19:13

Oh OP I’m sorry she is being like this. She is being very unreasonable, I would be really upset too. You would think she would want you as a bridesmaid because you are close friends and important to eachother, appearance should have nothing to do with it. Surely she could just have al bridesmaids dresses in the same colour and everyone could have just picked a style they liked? She sounds very mean and shallow to me and you deserve better friends than that.

Please don’t think there is anything wrong with you, you lose weight only if you want to for yourself, but I’m sure you are beautiful just as you are, inside and out. Also remind yourself that your body has done something amazing - given you your baby!

AlwaysonEtsy · 29/05/2021 19:19

She sounds horrible and I’d be really upset by this.
I’d choose my friend being by my side over a bloody dress! Hey does everything have to be announced on Facebook as well?? It’s all for show.

Peach01 · 29/05/2021 19:21

OP this is appalling. She's trying to dress up something that's incredibly rude and distasteful (no pun).
My bridesmaids are all different shapes and sizes. I've chosen the colour of the dresses and they've chosen the style. It's important everyone feels comfortable on the day and enjoys themselves, this is the whole point of us having a larger wedding. My weight has fluctuated many times and I know how important is to feel comfortable physically and mentally. I don't want to force a style on them that they don't feel comfortable in.
What she's done is terrible, it's an honour to be asked to be a bridesmaid but it's just as much an honour for the bride to have the person she's chose to be bridesmaid say yes. It might be her day but she should appreciate you more than that. You're not a mannequin.

GalaxyGirl24 · 29/05/2021 19:25

What a bloody awful thing for her to have done. Your close friends are much more important than the perfect insta bridesmaid dresses.
Don't let her make you feel bad about yourself OP, it's an ugly thing she's done there.

I had bridesmaids of all different sizes ranging from 8 - 18, different fashion styles etc, and a brides man. We all chose dresses/suit from a similar range of colours to suit each one of them as I wanted each one to feel beautiful.

dollypartonshirspray · 29/05/2021 19:26

@LunaLula83

The problem is all eyes would have been on you, not the bride. It's her day. My cousin is obese and she was bridesmaid. It was awkward, she couldn't fit through the door with her partner. It was really embarassing for all of us. You won't loose the weight for thd wedding, because quite frankly why should you loose weight for someone else.

@LunaLula83 are you in glue? Or the Bridezilla?

bluedomino · 29/05/2021 19:27

Wear a nice white dress to the wedding and get in front of the camera at every opportunity!

AnotherKrampus · 29/05/2021 19:30

I'd reply no worries and that you would certainly have lost the weight by her second wedding...

grapewine · 29/05/2021 19:33

LunaLula83 WTAF? The OP isn't going to be an embarrassment. You're as 'charming' as her so-called friend.

dunroamingfornow · 29/05/2021 19:33

Now in The Mirror

www.mirror.co.uk/news/weird-news/bride-bans-best-friend-bridal-24212070