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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Do you regret not having had sex with more people?

337 replies

BrilliantBetty · 27/05/2021 17:28

I feel that I should have experimented a bit more in my youth.

I married my first long term boyfriend.

I find myself daydreaming about situations that happened when I was at Uni or similar, when I could (should!) have slept with someone else but didn't and feeling a sense of missed opportunity. I guess it's curiosity to some extent. At the time I had the idea that not having slept with multiple people was desirable? Not sure why now.

So not really an AIBU, I guess I'm just interested to know if other people sometimes feel this way?

OP posts:
Babbly · 27/05/2021 17:29

Yeah - mainly Henry Cavill and Leonardo DiCaprio though.

HerBigChance · 27/05/2021 17:31

Yes. I wish I'd been less shy and more sure of myself.

WisestIsShe · 27/05/2021 17:34

No. My number is small but I'm my limited experience sex is so much better with someone you love.

YouShouldLeave · 27/05/2021 17:35

No.
Never had sex with anyone.
No regrets.

LunaNorth · 27/05/2021 17:36

Yup. I missed out on a lot of fun because I was brought up to be a massive prude who was terrified of sex.

Happy with DH now, but dear me, the first twenty years of shagging were piss-poor.

LunaNorth · 27/05/2021 17:37

(Just to be clear, the first 20 years were with a different partner).

Tal45 · 27/05/2021 17:38

No, my number is only 5 but they were all fairly positive relationships. If I had my time again I'd probably sleep with women too but I'm happy to keep that a fantasy.

NowWhatUsernameShallIHave · 27/05/2021 17:38

Yes I think so
I married my best friend who I met when I was 19
We split after 20 years and I’ve been single for 2 years
I’m not even close to DTD as I’m miserable about my body and scars from surgery

CounsellorTroi · 27/05/2021 17:40

Not really. My number is 4 and I married the last one! I think I am demisexual, not really comfortable with the idea of having sex with people I have no emotional connection with.

coffeecup88 · 27/05/2021 17:41

No. Only had sex with DH and very happy with our sex life 19 years later.

claramonica · 27/05/2021 17:41

Definitely not. I was a complete s*. Grindefinitely had so much fun !

Suzi888 · 27/05/2021 17:42

No

Poptart4 · 27/05/2021 17:44

Yes, I settled down at 20.

Sleeping around didn't interest me back then. I suppose milddle aged boredom has somewhat set in and I look back and think I missed out on a wild youth.

But I'm not massively disappointed just mildly regretful.

LittlePearl · 27/05/2021 17:44

Absolutely not.

Several friends bitterly regret the large number of men they slept with in their youth. I'm glad I found the right bloke early and we stuck together. I never feel I've missed out.

Smarshian · 27/05/2021 17:46

Absolutely not, because I slept with a lot of men (and don’t regret that either!)

TheGoogleMum · 27/05/2021 17:47

No. I slept with some friends before my boyfriend who then became DH. Sex got better for me over time as I learnt what works for me. I'm not a highly sexed person and the sex is good with DH when I want it. Nothing to be gained by sleeping with more people

GucciJackie · 27/05/2021 17:48

No the opposite.

EdithGrantham · 27/05/2021 17:48

I married my high school boyfriend and incredibly happy with how our lives are now but I do daydream about whatifs occasionally, curiosity more than regret though I would say. In reality if I'd not been with him I would have been in a different long term relationship or two as I would never have had the confidence to do anything short term.

SimonJT · 27/05/2021 17:48

No, my husband is the second person I had sex with, I’m very happy with that, while there isn’t anything wrong with casual sex it just wouldn’t be the right thing for me. I do have the odd niggle where I’m said that he isn’t the only person I have had sex with, but the rational bit of me knows thats silly as my first relationship was a positive and healthy one.

BinocularVision · 27/05/2021 17:48

Absolutely. I slept with a fair few people in a very short period of time, before meeting now-DH pretty young, but I'd certainly revisit to cram in a few more. Unlike those who have the best sex with people they have an emotional connection with, I've found that my own experience is that the quality of the sex was completely independent of whether I liked them or not or whether I even knew their name when we were in bed together.

But as a pp said, mild regret rather than desperate longing.

reallyisthisallthereis · 27/05/2021 17:49

Nope but then again slept with loads before I settled down. It got a bit boring towards the end but in general have no regrets.

Peanutbutterandbananatoastie · 27/05/2021 17:49

Agree Grin

RefuseTheLies · 27/05/2021 17:49

I'm sorry I never slept with more women. Bisexual and now married to a man. Magic number heavily weighted towards men (purely because they are easier to find than bisexual / lesbian women and easier to get in to bed Grin)

Happycat1212 · 27/05/2021 17:50

No way, I wish I had slept with less actually!

Whywonttheyhelpme · 27/05/2021 17:51

No.

I had a rough teenage period that pushed me to the edge. I tore my own life apart due to other people’s actions. I slept with anyone that would have me because I was afraid of people never wanting me.

I hate that I was in that place. Even though I am now happily married I have nightmares it will all be ripped away. Sleeping around doesn’t necessarily give you a happy experience nor does it solve deep rooted issues.