Do you regret not having had sex with more people?

[BrilliantBetty]

I feel that I should have experimented a bit more in my youth.

I married my first long term boyfriend.

I find myself daydreaming about situations that happened when I was at Uni or similar, when I could (should!) have slept with someone else but didn't and feeling a sense of missed opportunity. I guess it's curiosity to some extent. At the time I had the idea that not having slept with multiple people was desirable? Not sure why now.

So not really an AIBU, I guess I'm just interested to know if other people sometimes feel this way?

My number is high ish. I've been married and I've been in a few long term relationships and a fair few very short ones! I've been single for a few years now but don't regret my past.

I've been with my husband for 20 years this December and I was nearly 18 when we got together. I'm so glad I had a wild couple of years before we got together, I to makes me appreciate what we have! But it was also fun to be young and free for a bit I don't regret my sexual experiences at all I had a great time! I don't think I'd regret it if I hadn't had them but I would probably think 'what if?'

Yes! I’m similar to you OP and met my DH when I was 17. I did sleep with a couple of people before him but wish it was more, I’m also bisexual but never slept with a woman, wish I’d done that too as feel like if I was single I’d be too insecure in my inexperience to now!

Nah, I'd rather have had a few partners that were cracking in bed than a lifetime of bad sex with lots of them.

@Branleuse

I regret not having sex with more women

I regret not sleeping with any women. I'm almost certain it would be better than shagging a man. I never would've ended up in relationship with a woman but I reckon the orgasms would've been mega, so I'm sad that I missed out...

I had a great time in my early 20s and beyond and by the time I met DP in my 30s I was ready to settle down and chill. I enjoy the memories and the people I met.

But on the other hand, me and DP sometimes talk about how nice it would have been to have met earlier – to start building a life together sooner, to enjoy the peace and stability and all the other benefits that brings. To have kids earlier, reach financial goals sooner (I’m sure this would have been the case for me as life before was pretty flighty!)

It’s always intriguing to think about all the lives you haven’t lived – especially when there are so many choices and opportunities nowadays – and my heart aches a bit knowing that you can only choose one life which means sacrificing all the other ones you could have had! Lockdown has also made me wistful over decisions I’ve made as I’ve realised that life is short and some choices can’t be unmade.

I guess if you’d have broken up with your DH to go and meet other people you wouldn’t be together now. How lucky you are not to have the regret of losing him – you could have been sitting here now thinking about “the one that got away” and wondering if he was really the love of your life.

Kind of. I’m mid 30’s now and only just discovered how amazing sex can be after over a decade with exh. I don’t think I’d have ever married him if I’d had good sex before. I thought what we had was completely normal - something women just tolerated and men enjoyed.

I wish I had slept with less, I cringe when I think of some of the horrible ones I had sex with.

Good old Catholic guilt and the terror of getting pregnant (Irish) kept me on the straight and narrow until I broke up with my first LT boyfriend (22-24). Then I went overseas off and on for the next 4 years and shagged the legs off blokes with abandon, some were short term flings, some were ONS, some were lovely, some were mind blowing, some were epic disappointments. Met my DH and moved onto the next chapter. Zero regrets.

Like a PP, in my late teens, early 20s there were some missed opportunities which make me a bit wistful for the ‘what might have beens’. I was either too shy or unsure if I was deluding myself to act and I’m guessing they were too. I hope my kids have a little more gumption when their time rolls around

No. I got with my husband when I was 17 and I've only been with him. Maybe if the sex was rubbish I'd be intrigued with what it wld be like with someone else but it's always been really gd.

Absolutely not.

But I will say, all the roads I took and the choices I made, led me to where I am today, and I’m very happy with that

Not because of numbers - but I do regret passing a few men up that tried it on when I was with a total twat of a BF. I regret being loyal to him when I had such good offers on the table!

No, I don't regret it. My number is a big old 1, and I've been married to him for 26 years, been together since I was 19. I'm his only one as well and we both like it this way.

Yes. Mainly due loosing virginity at 20 and then being in LTR I only had sex with 7 people. Also I didn’t have much confidence in my youth, and I didn’t get to enjoy my Teflon vagina of my youth (peri menopause VA) if I could go back in time to my 20s body I would definitely enjoy it more.

No but I wish I'd slept with less. But can't change the past, so no point thinking about it.

No. I regret not having more self-esteem, boundaries and better quality sex!

No

Dh (now ex) was my number 5 ish, we split 5 years ago and my number is now much higher so no regrets 🤣. I think I’m much more relaxed with having sex now than I was with exh, sex felt very awkward when I was younger.

I am not sure what my 'number' is 😬 (it's not 100s BTW, just not exactly sure, more than 10 less than 20). I had some great ones, some mediocre, and some shit. Some I loved, some I didn't even like (and how good it was doesn't necessarily correlate with that). Don't regret any of it.

Yes. I married my first proper boyfriend. I wish i had made the most of being young, slim and pretty but i was shy and had no self confidence.

No i dont. It's really really really rsrely the string empowered incredible experience tv media makes out.

Random sex is a lot like a drunken snog. All a bit meh and not a warm fuzzy memory. You didnt miss anything.

If anything having less sex with different people mighy have heightened your first time with your partner x

TaylorStan

Not in terms of numbers because there have been plenty. But I wish so much I'd have had more confidence and self esteem so I could properly have enjoyed it and experimented

Me too, I was always very conscious of my weight and looks. I don't think I would have slept with less people- just maybe nicer ones that respected me more. That being said the older I got and more confident I got the better the sex got in relationships or no. A loving relationship can bring amazing sex. But a respectful ONS can be mind blowing.

Very much so. As one ages, one realises that the chances decrease drastically1 - sorry caps key not working properly.