Mum doing adult son's washing- would this turn you off?

[Larkstongues]

Few disclaimers- this assumes son is mentally and physically capable of doing laundry.
I specifically mean mother here- I'm not talking about a man who has a very hard job employing a maid because he can afford it or a laundry surface. Outsourcing it to the professionals is OK.
I mean his MUM.
I 'm also not talking about borrowing her machine if his is too small for, by way of example, a duvet. Fair enough.

I've met a guy: he seems OK, he works but the standard 40 hours a week and lives alone.

He takes his washing round to his mum's once a week.

I don't know but the thought of a grown man having his mum wash his dirty underwear turns me off. Turns me off to the point I 'm thinking of calling it a day.
Now I KNOW it's my right to call it a day for whatever reason but I'm interested if this would be a dealbreaker for you lot, too or AIBU?

It’s a bit wet. I can imagine a very functional set up where son puts a wash on son and mum chat and eat together, son takes washing home, but I suspect that’s not what’s happening and would be about it too.

It would certainly be off putting for me. If he was fantastic in every other way it may not be a deal breaker but I'd have to wonder what his views on women/women's roles are if he still gets his mom to wash his clothes hhhmm

I'd get him sacked right off.

Yeah, it's unattractive.

It depends
Does he go round for supper and it just convenient or take it round purely for her to do ?
Is she alone and it gives her a purpose/role in his life?
Not sure if I've worded that properly

Not in isolation. But it would be a red flag.

Far from it, she washes and irons. Does it all.

If they lived together and household tasks were split between them it would give me less ick than this.

My DS has been doing his own laundry since his early teens, so yes, that would really put me off!

Yeah, that would put me right off. I'd assume he would be useless around the house and expect the woman in his life to do all that while he sat on his arse.

Yes it would put me off. Like if he’s single and lives alone it’s not hard to put a load of washing on once a week.

Is he literally just dropping it off and the. She returns it washed and folded.

On the other hand I’d he works full time, and his mum had spare time and wants to do something to help him I guess it isn’t too bad.

....just something a bit sad about it.

Having said that. Maybe you could get in on the act and start dropping your washing off to her too?

Would you be expected to pick up the slack if the relationship gets serious, or will she also be washing your smalls?

My ex-partner’s mum did his washing and ironing when we met but she loved doing it and she got to see him .

Does his home have a functioning washing machine that he could use? TBH when my DD and her partner visit I do their washing for them, underwear and everything. I have no idea why this might be weird or skanky.

My dd moved in with her bf. His dm bought them a washing machine yet still picked up his washing every week and did it at her house! Every morning on her way to work she left him him his bait behind their bin!!
He was mid 20's...
Relationship didn't last...

@3scape

If they lived together and household tasks were split between them it would give me less ick than this.

Agreed. Unless there is some strange reciprocal agreement whereby she does his washing and he takes her shopping every week or does something else around the house it’s a very strange and seemingly lazy set up.

Vagina clamping shut just reading that.

Unless he stays there whilst she does it, and it that time they are enjoying each other’s company and he’s doing something like mowing her lawn...

Lucky him!
This might well be the tip of the iceberg though - what else does she do for him? I would ask him how he manages when his Mum goes on holiday.

Yes it would put me off. Even if the mum is alone and it gives her a ‘purpose’, it’s still a strange dynamic that I wouldn’t want to be involved in.
40 hours a week gives him plenty of time to stick a couple of washes on.

Does he own a washing machine?

Why doesn"t his mum rank the same as a "professional "? Would it be ok if she actually was a "professional "? Perhaps he does things for his mum and they just do chore swapping?

I’d judge her too though! Fuck me cut those misogyny-enabling apron strings love!

If I really liked him and all else about him was perfect, I expect we’d split up anyway... I’d get dumped by him for being unable to cut out the sarcastic comments and merciless pisstaking each week 🤷🏻‍♀️

If he out sourced it would you have a problem?

Does he not want to spend time ironing and rather than him paying someone mother has said she will do it?

It’s weird because if she was popping round to do some gardening for him, taking his dog for a daily walk etc it would seem weird. There’s just something about a mum doing washing for a 40 year old that feels ICK and I don’t know why more than any other chore she might do for him.

I think you might be dating my brother!
At first sight a fully functioning adult, on closer inspection a total div that can’t cook, use a washing machine or an iron (although he is very good at cleaning!) He lives on sandwiches or goes out to eat because he can’t cook.
My parents treat him like a child so he acts like a child, I think he washes his own underwear but my mum definitely does all his other washing & ironing (he even brought her a bag of washing on Xmas day!)