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AIBU?

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Original poster

To ask if you budget for this??

480 replies

goldenfoldies · 26/05/2021 23:17

Do/did/will you budget for helping out your parents in their old age/retirement?

If so how much?

I have name changed for this and am looking to settle an argument with someone. Won't say which side I'm on just yet. But just curious as to what others think/do?

OP posts:
JackieTheFart · 26/05/2021 23:19

No, I haven’t and I won’t be. Honestly I expect my parents to budget for that, which would likely include the sale of their houses.

FizzyPink · 26/05/2021 23:20

Absolutely not, that’s their responsibility.

Ponoka7 · 26/05/2021 23:21

In some cultures it's the norm. If children have done very well for themselves, then I've heard of them giving financial help. Those that can't give financial help, give time.
But no, it isn't usual.

AnneLovesGilbert · 26/05/2021 23:21

No. My dad and stepmum are absolutely loaded and I’m sure they have plans in place. Mum isn’t but she’s well enough off and I’ll do as much to care for as I’m able to.

BackforGood · 26/05/2021 23:22

No.

Overwhelmingly people don't actually go into care homes.
If they do, then it is their savings / income / pension / and then houses that will pay for that care. When / if that money runs out, (if it does) then they are state funded.
If they need care within their homes, then there is money that can be claimed to help with that.

vipersputpaidtomylastusername · 26/05/2021 23:22

No! My parent's generation are generally better off - free university, low house prices comparative to income, 'jobs for life', final salary pension, benefitted from inheritance as their parents generation died at a younger age, etc, etc

Aware its a generalisation, and will don my hard hat, but that's our reality in my circle of friends.

XenoBitch · 26/05/2021 23:22

No. I wont be able to afford to look after myself, let alone them too.

Orangesox · 26/05/2021 23:22

Good god no! I expect my parents to budget for that, I know my mother won’t and that is her cross to bare to a certain extent. We will help out with practical tasks and such like if it saves her having a workman in for off jobs (which we already do now), but I won’t be giving her pocket money or paying her bills, no.

MorriseysGladioli · 26/05/2021 23:23

No, I think there comes a time when everyone should be standing on their own feet.

In an emergency I would help, but I certainly wouldn't take on a long term helping out arrangement.
Nope.

Merryoldgoat · 26/05/2021 23:23

No, because I don’t have parents and PIL have significant assets that would pay for care.

I would happily look after them in old age though, either by visiting or having them with us.

PickAChew · 26/05/2021 23:25

No. I try to make sure we don't leave them out of pocket if we stay over but see no need to finance them.

Dementedswan · 26/05/2021 23:25

No, can't say it's crossed my mind. I'm not in a position too, but they all own their homes and have very good pensions. Far better off than us.

Knittedfairies · 26/05/2021 23:26

Not financially; what my parents needed was my time.

SoLongSister · 26/05/2021 23:27

Not financially but yes I put aside time for them.

lisamarii · 26/05/2021 23:28

No, both my parents and PIL have plenty of money to support themselves. Emotionally and physically I will help them though.

Sparklesocks · 26/05/2021 23:30

No. My parents are both better off than me, they are divorced but both have long term partners, both have healthy pensions and they both own property in SE with a lot of equity. They don’t need my cash.

Mumoftwoinprimary · 26/05/2021 23:31

Nope. My mum is a retired accountant. She has spreadsheets for every possibility. Many many spreadsheets.

Giraffapuses · 26/05/2021 23:33

Yes. Owing to their circumstances my parents will not be able to support themslebes financially in later life. I am working hard to provide this support. I don't know what the exact number will be but I estimate the level of support needed will increase by about £100 per month annually leveling off at about £2,500 per month. They have no assets and require 24/7 care. To achieve this, I am saving very hard to buy a house now so that there is time for me to establish the wealth needed to meet this cost.

Bargebill19 · 26/05/2021 23:37

Yes. We did, purely because we knew that no other family members would help either practically or financially. So we organised our finances so that either one of us could step back from work to provide help as needed. As it turned out I did the care for all four. We needed to find extra money to cover our extra costs involved in hotel stays/ travel costs etc. Both sets of parents didn’t need financial assistance thankfully.

Freecuthbert · 26/05/2021 23:37

Absolutely not! And I would be outraged if this was expected of me

Calamaribabe · 26/05/2021 23:38

No, it never occurred to me tbh.

Ragwort · 26/05/2021 23:38

No, but my DPs (in their 90s) are very comfortably off .... and give us money Blush.

OwlinaTree · 26/05/2021 23:41

No I'm not planning to pay for their care. I have my own life to pay for, and would rather spend any spare cash on my children.

I would help out practically. I'm not sure about having any of them live with us though!

daisyducky · 26/05/2021 23:42

No but my next house move will include the possibility of having to look after a parent in order age. So possibility of converting a room downstairs into a bedroom or space for an annex in the garden so I can care for them or my in laws

Nuggetnugget · 26/05/2021 23:42

No!
My parents were quite selfish (and my mother a greedy personality) when I was growing up. I stood on my own two feet from aged 17.
So no way will I help financially.