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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To give up my dream job for the sake of my son?

435 replies

ThornAmongstRoses · 26/05/2021 20:52

Last week my dream job was offered to me. I’ve still got to officially interview for it but I’ve pretty much been told it’s mine.

This job is something I’ve wanted for about 5 years, it’s something I’m so passionate about but I never thought it would be an option - but now it’s being given to me on a plate....it’s everything I’ve ever wanted.

The only downside is that I would have to move closer to the job, it’s not far away at all but it’s enough to mean I’d have to move my 7 year old to a different school.

I feel heartbroken at the thought of doing that to him....but on the other hand, I want this job so, so much.

I just don’t know what to do.

My husband has said I have to take the job and although it may be difficult at first, our son will adapt to a different school, but I feel so incredibly selfish for even considering doing that to him to follow my dream.

I am so torn, conflicted, confused, sad....a whole range of emotions and I just don’t know what to do.

Has anyone else been in a similar position? Or could anyone just advise me? I feel like I can’t see the woods for the trees Sad

OP posts:
pumpkinpie01 · 26/05/2021 20:53

If it's not far away why does he have to move schools ?

legalseagull · 26/05/2021 20:53

He's young enough to move easily! Within a few months he'll have a whole new friendship group and be thinking nothing more of it.

CuriousandReady · 26/05/2021 20:53

Have you asked your son how he feels about a school move? He may be fine with it

Woodswoman · 26/05/2021 20:53

Take the job. If your son were doing GCSEs or something it would be different but he’s so young and will adapt quickly.

Babbly · 26/05/2021 20:53

Take the job!

MyFloorIsLava · 26/05/2021 20:54

If it truly is your dream job you should move. Kids are incredibly adaptable, lots of children change primary schools each year. He would only be at primary for 3/4 more years anyway, then you have the rest of his secondary school career and beyond to regret what you turned down.

MarshaBradyo · 26/05/2021 20:54

What about your dh work situation?

We moved dc at 7 years old to new school as we had to move house. He was fine after a couple of weeks. I wouldn’t do it often but I think once in primary isn’t too bad.

Original poster
ThornAmongstRoses · 26/05/2021 20:54

If it's not far away why does he have to move schools?

I say not far away in terms of it’s only a 25 minute drive, but it’s about 15 miles away and in a different county to the one we live in now.

OP posts:
rubyslippers · 26/05/2021 20:55

Do it
Kids are adaptable
It’s not secondary school; it’s not in the middle of a-levels
You deserve to fulfil your goals and aspirations
IME kids moan and groan at you whatever you do so where you can do stuff which makes you happy too
Let your DS treat the change as an adventure

Draineddraineddrained · 26/05/2021 20:55

He'll be the fine. He won't be at school forever; you'll likely be working another 30/40 years. And DS will benefit from you having a good job That you love in many ways. He's 7; the friends he has now are not the friends he'll have for life, even if you stay where you are.

You'd be crazy to let this chance slip away.

Original poster
ThornAmongstRoses · 26/05/2021 20:55

Have you asked your son how he feels about a school move? He may be fine with it

I asked him earlier and he said he’d be really sad because he’d miss his friends Sad

OP posts:
DysmalRadius · 26/05/2021 20:56

7 is a great age to move schools - I know several that have at that age or similar and you'd never know a couple of weeks in!

Shinytaps · 26/05/2021 20:56

Go for it! Kids are so adaptable and he’s really young still. I went to a few different schools and honestly you settle in quickly.

Janaih · 26/05/2021 20:56

I thought you were going to say something really bad, like moving halfway across the world in his gcse year.
Moving a 7 year old to a different school, I wouldn't think twice. He will be settled in a few weeks and can still keep in touch with friends.
Congratulations, good luck and bite their hand off!

Biscusting · 26/05/2021 20:56

Take the job!!

MrsTerryPratchett · 26/05/2021 20:57

I'm still confused about why you can't commute.

partyatthepalace · 26/05/2021 20:57

Dear god woman - take the bloody job - and wind down the drama while you’re at it. Kids have to move schools for their parents’ work all the flipping time - and he’s 7, he’s not midway through GCSEs!

Original poster
ThornAmongstRoses · 26/05/2021 20:57

What about your dh work situation?

It will probably only add an extra 20 minutes to his journey every morning / evening (travelling down a motorway) and he said he’d have no problem doing that, or moving, if it meant I could take this job.

OP posts:
Notaroadrunner · 26/05/2021 20:58

Take the job. He's still very young and will adapt. Will you be able to hold off until summer holidays? At least that way you might have time to find new friends for him who will be going to his new school, and that should help him settle in easier come September.

Minstermouse · 26/05/2021 20:58

He’s 7. Really, it won’t be difficult. He’ll be happy as Larry (whoever Larry is) within weeks and so will you.

Happy Mum, happy Dad, happy 7 year old. Win, win, win.

(Our youngest had to move three times in one year at 7! (Areas, not just schools) He’s a fantastic young adult now and can barely remember primary.

Soulmusic · 26/05/2021 20:58

Of course your son will be sad. Change is hard for kids to get their heads around. You need to make the move exciting for him.

notacooldad · 26/05/2021 20:58

Why do you have to move if it is 25 mins drive and in a different county?

Original poster
ThornAmongstRoses · 26/05/2021 20:59

I'm still confused about why you can't commute.

Because I can’t drive.

I could use public transport but it would take me just under 2 hours each way.

OP posts:
notacooldad · 26/05/2021 21:00

I'm still confused about why you can't commute.

Because I can’t drive

Is learning to drive not an option for you?

MrsTerryPratchett · 26/05/2021 21:01

Intensive driving course! Unless there's educational reasons.