To not be concerned about DDs occasional drug use?

[saltyskies8]

DD is 27, living in the city as a single professional and has a fantastic social life (in normal times!). We are very close and have the sort of relationship where she feels able to tell me about most things I'd say. Since moving to the city for work a couple of years ago, she's openly told me that her and her friends will occasionally use cocaine or MDMA on nights out or in and that it's very much normal amongst everyone she knows there. DD is otherwise very fit and healthy and personally, I see her drug use as entirely normal for someone of her age group who is young, single and enjoying life in the city.

DH and I got talking last night after watching a series on bbc3 about drug use and I mentioned DDs recreational drug use, which he was not previously aware of. DH is highly concerned and has accused me of being irresponsible for not being concerned about her health and advising she seeks help. I explained my view that most people in their 20s living in the city are doing this and he believes I'm completely deluded and DD has a problem.

I'm genuinely interested to know others thoughts on this? AIBU in not being worried about drug use at this stage in DDs life?

FYI I completely appreciate there are ethical issues in terms of gang crime, county lines etc. but DD and her friends are already well aware of this and I'd rather focus on the health aspect of this for the purpose of this thread :)

YABU and irresponsible, as is your DD.

Most twenty somethings don’t do drugs. I’m 35 and have lived in London since I was 23; I’ve never done drugs, nor has DH or our friends (bar one person). We have a very wide social circle. I’m in the City, he is a lawyer. Our friends are high flying professionals including journalists - none touch drugs.

You’re being really irresponsible to just brush this off. If it gets out of hand and she ends up addicted to cocaine how will you feel? To say nothing of how illegal and unethical it is.

Grow up. She’s your daughter, not your mate.

You are extremely naive and irresponsible as a parent, regardless of your daughter's age.

If you look at statistics with the ONS - MDMA is 86% of deaths in drug usage.

Get your daughter into rehab before she kills herself or destroys her life.

Drug dealers and gangs etc are murderers in their own right for giving out drugs which kill people. -That's- why they are highly wanted by police.

Rehab? For using recreational drugs every now and again. They wouldn't take her. She isn't addicted.

In all honesty, I think that you need to recognise that you are her mother, not her friend. You sound exactly like my mum. At the time it was really fun, don't get me wrong. But now as an adult I hold a lot of resentment towards her, and wish that she had stepped upped and taken care of me rather than trying to hard to be the cool mum who is okay with everything.

I would be very concerned. I have a 35 yo ds who is addicted to prescription drugs, he started off trying ecstasy, weed etc. He is on huge amounts of oxycodone, he's addicted to diazepam and sleeping tablets too. He's now at the point that he is buying prescribed oxycodone off of a heroin user/dealer. He is spending around 300 pounds a month buying these drugs. He has also bought diazepam off the street and later found that it was fake and had caused a number of deaths.

My ds suffers from drug induced psychosis. He has overdosed before on a few occasions and I live with the constant fear that I will get a call one day telling me that he has overdosed and died.

Drugs ruin lives!

Some of these comments from parents have reminded me that throughout my teens and 20s I'd tell my parents about my friends' drug use too, in an "oh yes them, they do loads of drugs, I don't get it!" Way. I was socially taking Coke, smoking weed, tried a few other things. They would never, ever have believed it. They still wouldn't. A lot of my friends were the same- many different circles in central London in the late 90s and through the 00s, and none of them did drugs, according to their parents.

In fact, all the teens I've known say the same thing when this comes up around their parents "oh yeah, my mates do, I'm just not interested. Don't get the appeal". So so convincing.

The people saying ‘rehab’ have absolutely no idea- it’s actually very embarrassing 🙈

So according to @PeopleAreAllWeveGot all teenagers do drugs?

I'm not buying it. Besides, how are they paying for them?

I'm sorry about yor son @Kaylasmum49
Threads like this must really annoy you.

@RampantIvy

So according to *@PeopleAreAllWeveGot* all teenagers do drugs?

I'm not buying it. Besides, how are they paying for them?

I'm sorry about yor son @Kaylasmum49
Threads like this must really annoy you.

They didn't say all, she said all the ones she's known.

It's unlikely to be pure and will be cut with all sorts of crap.

You do realise your daughter and her friends are helping to fund organised crime, cucckooing, county lines? Other peoples lives are a misery because of this. There is a bigger picture

Rehab? They'd laugh her out of there

@HarrisMcCoo actually cocaine in the Uk is nowadays at a really high purity - was reading about it the other day

@Nokiding totally agree. Some of the absolute best moments of my life have been doing recreational drugs with friends, bonding, experiencing things. I would like my daughter to have that too. I fondly reminisce all the time!!!

Now I’m in my 40s I don’t do it. That how it normally goes.

Alcohol is more dangerous and deadly than all drugs. I get that drugs comes with a plethora of ethical issues - so how about legalising drugs so no-one has to be involved in county lines or gets ‘a bad batch of heroin’?

Rehab 😂😂😂

Also stop mentioning heroin on this thread. The OPs daughter doesn't take heroin. That's a whole different ball game.

Why do you think it is normal for young people living/working in the city to be using drugs- it simply isn't.

@PeopleAreAllWeveGot

Some of these comments from parents have reminded me that throughout my teens and 20s I'd tell my parents about my friends' drug use too, in an "oh yes them, they do loads of drugs, I don't get it!" Way. I was socially taking Coke, smoking weed, tried a few other things. They would never, ever have believed it. They still wouldn't. A lot of my friends were the same- many different circles in central London in the late 90s and through the 00s, and none of them did drugs, according to their parents.

In fact, all the teens I've known say the same thing when this comes up around their parents "oh yeah, my mates do, I'm just not interested. Don't get the appeal". So so convincing.

In all honesty, @PeopleAreAllWeveGot, do you really think your parents didn’t know, rather than not wanting to acknowledge it? Because the biggest giveaway of all of a child doing drugs is spurious claims that their friends are doing it but they wouldn’t touch the stuff - that’s about as believable as Dominic Cummings in the Downing Street Rose Garden.

Young people’s behaviour invariably does change when they start experimenting with drugs - generally enough for anyone living with them to notice if they are paying close attention. Faux expressions of shock that friends are doing these things just shows an unusual level of interest and unbelievable denial. Besides which, like people tend to stick together, which is why drug users think they are normal and those who don’t use drugs think they are normal... you choose your friends, you’re not stuck with them.

@Walkaround I see what you're saying, I am sure many parents wilfully ignore the truth...but honestly the idea that all drug users make that use obvious, and change noticeably just isn't realistic at all.

In my case I wasn't in front of them when i'd taken anything as I'd stay at friend's houses (they always thought it was at my "nice" friends' houses. Sometimes it was, sometimes it wasn't).

And my dad still very loudly and proudly talks about the fact I have never touched the stuff.

@RampantIvy

So according to *@PeopleAreAllWeveGot* all teenagers do drugs?

I'm not buying it. Besides, how are they paying for them?

I'm sorry about yor son @Kaylasmum49
Threads like this must really annoy you.

Not all teenagers, but dc 1 who went a respected grammar school talked about drug usage in school. A lad a couple of years out of school died of an accidental drugs overdose.

@ChelleMum85

You are extremely naive and irresponsible as a parent, regardless of your daughter's age.

If you look at statistics with the ONS - MDMA is 86% of deaths in drug usage.

Get your daughter into rehab before she kills herself or destroys her life.

Drug dealers and gangs etc are murderers in their own right for giving out drugs which kill people. -That's- why they are highly wanted by police.

86% of drug deaths caused by MDMA! Right then! That's obviously way off the mark.

The statistics you have quoted show that it is more like 1.2% in the last year there is data for.

Even then the catagories are misleading. The ONS lumps 'Ecstacy pills' and MDMA together. These deaths are being caused by the relatively more dangerous pills, that ironically are usually composed of other chemicals not pure MDMA.

Give the young people a means to test drugs for purity and keep them safe rather than criminalising them.

Rehab..Deary me.

@Nokiding

Taking MDMA with close friends in your twenties is a really beneficial and enjoyable experience that I wouldn't want my daughter to miss out on.

What?! 😂

Taking MDMA with close friends in your twenties is a really beneficial and enjoyable experience that I wouldn't want my daughter to miss out on

Haha this comment beats the 'it's ok as long as you are middle class' one 😆

@Morgan12

Rehab 😂😂😂

Also stop mentioning heroin on this thread. The OPs daughter doesn't take heroin. That's a whole different ball game.

Why?

Many people who take heroin started off with other drugs.

It's arguably less dangerous than regularly getting drunk. Just illegal so there is that sort of danger.