To ask DH not to poo in our en-suite

[fizzioh]

For several months now DH has had a bit of a dodgy tum. He’s under the GP and it’s looking likely he has IBS.

On top of excessive (foul smelling) wind and very frequent toilet trips, his shit absolutely stinks.

I’m not expecting roses, but it’s far far beyond a normal smell.

He can easily fill the whole house with a stench when he goes to the toilet, which could easily be mistaken for a rotten dead animal.

I’ve asked him very kindly, and considerately, if for the foreseeable, and whilst he’s tum is still causing him issues, if he could hold off using the en-suite for a poo.

It’s just awful when he goes and our bedroom stinks for hours; even with the windows open and lots of air fresheners.

He’s told me it’s easier to use out en-suite in the middle of the night and he prefers that toilet in general, but when he goes there have been times the smell has woken me up and I have to sleep on the couch because I’m gagging!!!

Nothing dramatic is allowed in our downstairs loo, nothing wrong with a few rules

@Lettuceforlunch

I’d find that such a turn off!!!

Same here! Especially near where I'm trying to sleep!

En-suites are a bad idea, and anyone disturbing my sleep by getting up several times a night would also be a problem. I understand they may have health needs, but sorry, I'd be in the spare room! Humans need sleep!

Obviously I have always been OK getting up at night when needed for my DC. If necessary I hope I would for my DH - but I don't consider his toileting needs come under that umbrella. Or not now anyway....

PPs have mentioned all sorts of ways to mitigate the smell but by the time my DH had flushed twice, sprayed stuff, lit matches and run a sinkful of scented oils I would be so wide awake and so furiously cross that we'd be divorced within a week! Sleep is important, and bad smells need to be contained elsewhere! YADNBU!

^ He's ill though. Try having some compassion.

The the PP’s saying I shouldn’t make him go further to the main bathroom....
The main bathroom really isn’t that far. It’s not like he has to walk miles.

To the PP who said they hope it’s not a serious illness. We already know that it’s not, but thanks for your concern.

I am very supportive of my husband, I don’t think I’m asking for much but asking him not to take a shit in our bedroom.
I’m sure none of you would really want to sleep with that stench up your noses, so please stop pretending like you would.

My ex had IBS and tbh it was a serious illness because it controlled almost everything we did/when we could go out.

If it's as bad as the OP says then its going to stinknthe house out wherever he does it. Maybe she shoukd LTB

@fizzioh

The the PP’s saying I shouldn’t make him go further to the main bathroom.... The main bathroom really isn’t that far. It’s not like he has to walk miles.

To the PP who said they hope it’s not a serious illness. We already know that it’s not, but thanks for your concern.

I am very supportive of my husband, I don’t think I’m asking for much but asking him not to take a shit in our bedroom.
I’m sure none of you would really want to sleep with that stench up your noses, so please stop pretending like you would.

Sometimes, with IBS though, you just need to get to a toilet - the closer, the better. Why should you get to have a say in which toilet he can use when he's obviously not well. Just get some better air spray.

We only have one toilet in our house at the top of the stairs. The stench my partner can create during one of his five shits a day is unbelievable. I’m never quite sure what to say when I’ve had to answer the front door and the stench bursts forth from the house. It’s clearly not a fart and it permeates the whole house for an hour at a time so most of the day our hallway reeks of shit.

I too have been woken up gagging by the stench of his shit but worse still is in the morning he thinks/hopes it’s sexy time afterwards and really nothing is less sexy than having heard him evacuate his bowels before he tries to sneak back into bed for a shag. 🤮

Yanbu. I agree. 👍

Not sure if this will be any good if that VIPoo stuff doesn’t work.
But might be worth a try.
I know a few people who have it and say it is good. But they don’t have IBS.
www.aesop.com/uk/p/home/home-formulations/post-poo-drops/

@Ratatattatpat

Yabvu for starting such a disgusting thread.

We all shit. Including you.

I think you need to get a grip OP ask him nicely but IBS isn't something you can control if he needs to go he needs to go now!!! Get some VIP poo good sprays etc. Sickness and in health and all that.
I hope you never get a digestive disorder OP as you will be in for quite a shock.

Have you tried encouraging husband to use one of those spray things that go into the toilet before doing a poo? They do work quite well. Tell him to keep the door shut, certainly make sure it is shut afterwards, and put the seat down when he has finished. That will minimise the smell.

If he permeates the whole house that will happen regardless of which toilet he uses. At least in the en suite it can be contained more easily, if he is careful as suggested, and nobody other than he or you will be using that toilet. en suites usually have extractor fans but if you are fortunate enough to have a window in yours, he could also open it and leave it open for a while. Keep bedroom door closed too unless you have very small kids and tiny ones don't care about smells that much.

It's not nice but, honestly, he can't help it. I hope his problem is sorted before too long. I've been there, op, but I did manage to get it under control and now know how to head it off. It's very unpleasant though and I remember feeling unbelievably demoralised. Your husband will be feeling the same.

We don't die just from smells.

OP, I think you're not asking for much here. We have a rule of not using ensuite at night because the noise is enough to wake the other one up. And I'm pregnant so go for a wee several times each night, but the few extra steps won't kill me.

Get some nutrodol (sp) gel air fresheners and the spray version it literally gets rid of any kind if stench

Courtesy flush. Straight after the poo hits the bowl.

Is he cleaning up after himself? Ime if the toilet smells it’s because there are still traces of poo left.

He needs to flush quickly after the first rush of poo. At the end. And again after a quick scrub with the toilet brush.

It’s a lot of noise and smell to inflict on a partner at night time so I would hope that he’s doing everything in his power to sort this out.

I’d probably leave him to use the en-suite if time is of the essence and sleep elsewhere.

Has he tried prebiotic? I'm ibs m and when I'm having a D episode they don't stop it but they sure help with the stench

Maybe with a soft rum he'd prefer the privacy of his own en suite rather than a bathroom everybody is sharing?

That’s precisely why I would never have an en suite. Thank goodness we have a wide-opening window in our toilet!
Neutrodol spray is pretty effective, miles better than Febreeze which does nothing but exaggerate the stink.

He could try charcoal tablets?

Poo pourri works much better than the vipoo. Have some neutradol in your bedroom. Oh, and you are being unreasonable.

Close en suit door, open window, VIPoo spray, commence shitting. Courtesy flush if necessary, and then flush ASAP. Double check that it's all gone, do another flush if necessary. Bleach down toilet. Strike match, then use it to light some scented candles, or just spray some air deoderiser.

IBS shits can be utterly foul, but they don't need to take out the entire house. He just needs to make a bit of an effort.

We both have IBS and have a no pooping on the en-suite rule, I don’t think it’s a big deal. Loads of people with IBS don’t have en-suites and so they go in the main bathroom surely? This is really no different.

YANBU my DH never uses our en-suite for that, he uses the main bathroom, having said that we live in a bungalow so he doesn’t have to go downstairs etc. I expect if the main bathroom is further away in your home he may need to use the en-suite for an urgent visit..