To think if there's something you don't want your kid to eat you say when asked not bitch about it later.

[BeansOnToast56]

So today I looked after my brothers girlfriends daughter for the day as she was working and her child care fell through. She is a relatively new girlfriend of about 9 months but due to covid I haven't really spent much time with her or her daughter but my brother is happy so that's ok with me. My dd is a year younger so it was no skin off my nose to have her here for the day, the girls played nicely and entertained each other. I asked her mum when she dropped her off if she had any allergies, things she didn't want her to have or things she didn't like, mum said she ate most things. She had lunch and dinner here so mum really should of said if there was things her daughter wasn't allowed to eat. The girls had bagels cream cheese, grapes, carrot sticks for lunch, crisps in the afternoon and chorizo pasta bake for dinner with peas and garlic bread with chocolate ice cream for pudding. Well my brother has rang kicking for because the child is vegetarian and her mum is very upset I didn't respect that, how the bloody hell am I suppose to know this? I asked mum and she didn't say her reply was she eats most things, no mention of her being a vegetarian at all. AIBU on to think this is mums fault and if she didn't say how was I suppose to know, her dd is 7 if that makes any difference and she didn't tell me herself.

Or maybe the 7 YO was too polite or nervous to make a fuss about what she was being fed?

Or maybe she didn't even really know/understand what being a vegetarian meant? If she hadn't had much experience of eating without her DM, she might not have really had to make any decisions about choosing her own food. After all, she could have been only 5 when the first lockdown started.

The DD might have only really ever been fed by her parents, so what she's been given is just food and she's never missed meat because she's not really been aware of it's existence.

3.5oz of chorizo ... it is practically vegetarian.

unless it is one of those strict religious requirements with no choice

Everything is a choice in life. Following a strict religion is a choice

And most importantly, how did you pronounce chorizo to our young vegetarian? Maybe this is what tipped her mummy over the edge of reason.

Yanbu. Hopefully resolvable though.

You did nothing wrong and I understand why you're annoyed.
I think at this point it would be the best if your brother fixed it. If I was him I'd apologise to you that he didn't tell you his girlfriend is vegetarian, explained she thought he would have mentioned it some time in the last 9 months.
And then he can explain to his girlfriend that he never told you she was vegetarian and you never had a meal together so you wouldn't have known.
In an ideal world his girlfriend should apologise to you or at least thank you for babysitting. I hope your brother insist on it. After all she should want to have a good relationship with you.

FFS - what a pair of idiots. They owe you an apology.

Oh, he wants to come over to try turn you over so you can offer child care when she next needs it. Tell him unless she apologises and he comes clean to her that he is is NOT a vegetarian. They will definitely try to use you again for child care. I normally don't do such things but if they are to play you up I would start the game first. I would definitely text her to say how hurt I was for having people think that I ignored information out of my knowledge which I originally VOLUNTEERED to get.

If that’s the case then I don’t think the girlfriend will be around for long. If he feels the need to lie about what eats to her, I can’t see the relationship lasting anyway. Still think this whole thing just doesn’t make sense.

I agree with this. If he's having to lie to her how can it last. If DH suddenly announced he was going veggie I wouldn't expect him to try to stop me eating meat (and good luck to him if he did!) and nor would I lie to him about it.

I lived through BSE so would be most unimpressed at you letting a child of mine eat your shite processed meat
Im veggie and find this hilarious. Not all beef burgers are “shite processed” meat and it’s even funnier you think veggie burgers aren’t processed and shite and somehow better! Absolutely stupid.

@BeansOnToast56

She used the term "they are veggie." Does that imply her and the child or all three of them? Hopefully we can sort this out add I have a feeling she might be around a while, really don't want years and years of resentment because of this.

Well if your brother was now vegetarian I would have thought that he might have mentioned it, or that his gf & her daughter are & so he often eats vegetarian meals with them now?

Of course you don't years of resentment-she might be wanting years of childcare though

I agree with PPs that your brother is probably vegetarian when he is with them and she doesn't know that he eats meat away from home. She has assumed that you would know if your own brother is a veggie or not.

@NonagonInfinityOpensTheDoor

I lived through BSE so would be most unimpressed at you letting a child of mine eat your shite processed meat Im veggie and find this hilarious. Not all beef burgers are “shite processed” meat and it’s even funnier you think veggie burgers aren’t processed and shite and somehow better! Absolutely stupid.

Yeah, but veggie burgers weren't fed sheep with scrapie, which caused an incurable disease to leap the species barrier. Now that is absolutely stupid.

@SpindleWhorl

And most importantly, how did you pronounce chorizo to our young vegetarian? Maybe this is what tipped her mummy over the edge of reason.

Well it explains how the gf didn't have anyone else to miNd the DC.Shes burnt all her bridges by blowing things up out of proportion.

And don't do anything for her again.

If want to know in advance if a guest was veggie! I'd potentially struggle to provide a full days food with no notice!

This is insane. Your brother continued to have a go at you when you made it 100% clear that (a) nobody told you the child or the girlfriend were vegetarian (b) you specifically asked about food and (c) the child herself did not mention it. Your brother did not defend you to his girlfriend and instead related to you that said girlfriend was extremely upset with you?

Like others said, I reckon he is pretending to be a vegetarian himself and that is why he can’t admit to her that you could not possibly have known.

You helped the woman out in a time of need, the lingering huffiness over what is clearly a misunderstanding is astonishing!

Odd behaviour. Ignore. Don't make more drama.

😂 😂 At "I lived through BSE". It's likely most of us did!!

@ZenNudist

Odd behaviour. Ignore. Don't make more drama.

Do you honestly think that’s going to happen.

Smacks of a big family bust up on the horizon. With mumsnetters delighting from the sidelines

What happened when he came over op?

It all sounds ridiculous. I’d be so angry in your shoes.

What happened when he came over op?
He had another bacon sandwich 😂

I bet he said, 'Sorry about all that crap on the phone, sis, but she was sat there listening and I told her ages ago I'd go vegetarian. Oops. Have you got any sausage rolls? Oh by the way, can you look after her DD again tomorrow? Just no chorizo, eh? Ha ha ha ha!'

Did your brother come round to discuss OP?

Update please OP