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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think if there's something you don't want your kid to eat you say when asked not bitch about it later.

356 replies

BeansOnToast56 · 23/05/2021 19:34

So today I looked after my brothers girlfriends daughter for the day as she was working and her child care fell through. She is a relatively new girlfriend of about 9 months but due to covid I haven't really spent much time with her or her daughter but my brother is happy so that's ok with me. My dd is a year younger so it was no skin off my nose to have her here for the day, the girls played nicely and entertained each other. I asked her mum when she dropped her off if she had any allergies, things she didn't want her to have or things she didn't like, mum said she ate most things. She had lunch and dinner here so mum really should of said if there was things her daughter wasn't allowed to eat. The girls had bagels cream cheese, grapes, carrot sticks for lunch, crisps in the afternoon and chorizo pasta bake for dinner with peas and garlic bread with chocolate ice cream for pudding. Well my brother has rang kicking for because the child is vegetarian and her mum is very upset I didn't respect that, how the bloody hell am I suppose to know this? I asked mum and she didn't say her reply was she eats most things, no mention of her being a vegetarian at all. AIBU on to think this is mums fault and if she didn't say how was I suppose to know, her dd is 7 if that makes any difference and she didn't tell me herself.

OP posts:
woodfort · 23/05/2021 20:02

But yes as per PP I thought it was going to be about the crisps or ice cream or something but even then, she would have been BU as you were doing her a massive favour.

polkadotpixie · 23/05/2021 20:03

My family is vegetarian and I would 100% tell anyone who looked after my son...your brother's GF is definitely to blame, she should have said something in advance!

lunar1 · 23/05/2021 20:04

You best not agree to anymore emergency child minding!

partyatthepalace · 23/05/2021 20:05

Yes that is total madness. I’d send your bro a text clarifying the basics - you asked, she said all good.

Don’t underestimate what you did, plenty of people would not have looked after her for the day.

PastaLaVistaBBY · 23/05/2021 20:06

Her mum is an idiot - you did absolutely nothing wrong, and she’s an ungrateful cow.

FOJN · 23/05/2021 20:06

Why is she making such a fuss? She was asked quite explicitly about dietary requirements and failed to mention any, I'd be quite curious about her motives for her behaviour now. Manipulative/troublemaker?

It's also a bit bloody weird to be so ungrateful about free, short notice childcare. I wouldn't agree to do it again and I wouldn't apologise either. Perhaps your brother could do it next time.

Original poster
BeansOnToast56 · 23/05/2021 20:07

Good glad I'm not the insane one here and I will not be offering to help her out again in a hurry. What has annoyed me most is I actually asked her an allergies, things she doesn't eat etc etc, I always ask as one of my dc has an allergy. My brother when he finished kicking off agreed I ALWAYS ask everyone that I feed adult or child because of my own dc allergies and said nothing more than his girlfriend must of been flustered or something. No apology from him or her and apparently he thinks I should appologise because the mother is beside herself!

Her dd absolutely love the pasta bake had two helpings so that probably didn't go down well.

OP posts:
StopPokingTheRoyalTitDear · 23/05/2021 20:08

The GF is a dickhead. Presumably you told your brother you didn’t know and pointed out to him that he knows you well enough to know that you’d never had fed the kid meat if someone like say, the kid’s mother had mentioned they’re vegetarian.

Dontbeme · 23/05/2021 20:09

Why couldn't you brother mind his girlfriend's daughter for the day? He will have to start sometime as the way the pair of them behaved today means it will be tough to get anyone to mind this child, the pair of Muppets.

Original poster
BeansOnToast56 · 23/05/2021 20:09

This is the recipe I used, I add a handful of chopped cherry tomatoes and use more cheese on top.

To think if there's something you don't want your kid to eat you say when asked not bitch about it later.
To think if there's something you don't want your kid to eat you say when asked not bitch about it later.
OP posts:
OwlTwitterings · 23/05/2021 20:09

Even if you hadn’t asked whether there were any dietary requirements, you shouldn’t wouldn’t have been unreasonable!

StopPokingTheRoyalTitDear · 23/05/2021 20:10

@BeansOnToast56

Good glad I'm not the insane one here and I will not be offering to help her out again in a hurry. What has annoyed me most is I actually asked her an allergies, things she doesn't eat etc etc, I always ask as one of my dc has an allergy. My brother when he finished kicking off agreed I ALWAYS ask everyone that I feed adult or child because of my own dc allergies and said nothing more than his girlfriend must of been flustered or something. No apology from him or her and apparently he thinks I should appologise because the mother is beside herself!

Her dd absolutely love the pasta bake had two helpings so that probably didn't go down well.

Cross posted. Yeah don’t apologise to her, it’s her own fucking fault.
Lottle · 23/05/2021 20:11

I'm veggie and I think YANBU.

Januaryissodull · 23/05/2021 20:13

@BeansOnToast56 did you definitely not know that they were vegetarians? Did you know your brothers girlfriend was vegetarian?

If you really didn't know then it's crazy.

Is it possible that she thought you knew they were vegetarian?

PetuniaPot · 23/05/2021 20:14

I'd just give him "the look" if he ever mentions this apology again. The one that says: are you out of your tiny mind

Original poster
BeansOnToast56 · 23/05/2021 20:16

No I had no idea the mum or child were veggie, her and my brother have been dating for around 9 months but due to covid I've only briefly meet her twice. We didn't even have Christmas dinner as a big family event this year due to covid.

He couldn't look after her as he works for the same NHS trust and was working today himself.

OP posts:
Original poster
BeansOnToast56 · 23/05/2021 20:17

Her dd was a lovely girl tho, well behaved played nicely with dd and very polite so the mother has obviously done something right.

OP posts:
1FootInTheRave · 23/05/2021 20:18

She's a stupid twat.

And tbh, if she was that arsed, she should've sent the kid with suitable food.

PetuniaPot · 23/05/2021 20:19

Did she perhaps presume he'd told you all about her, including the vegetarian detail.Confused

me4real · 23/05/2021 20:21

YANBU as she had misled you or forgot to say.

You're not psychic.

Grumblesigh · 23/05/2021 20:22

There is no way a veggie mum who cares that much would have failed to mention her dd being veggie. Especially when specifically prompted.

So I think she's a shit-stirrer - she was looking to drive a wedge between you and your brother. Your brother owes you an apology; you should avoid all contact with the GF. If she issues a heartfelt apology to you, then maybe she earns a second chance. But I'd be wary.

Amdone123 · 23/05/2021 20:22

Some people are so ungrateful. You did a lovely thing, helping her out and she has the audacity to complain. Your brother should have stood up for you, too. He'd be getting a mouthful from me.
Don't offer again, but don't let this determine who you are, as you sound like a lovely person. Shame the child loses out as it sounds like a great day, but this is what happens when your mother's an ingrate.

Howshouldibehave · 23/05/2021 20:22

So today I looked after my brothers girlfriends daughter for the day as she was working and her child care fell through.

I can’t believe you looked after her child for the day due to her childcare falling through and she/your brother treated you like that!

I wouldn’t be helping her out again!

Januaryissodull · 23/05/2021 20:22

@PetuniaPot that's what I wondered, perhaps the girlfriends presumed he'd told the family she was veggie (I'm trying to play devils advocate).

But really they should have had that conversation before he rang op having a go at her.

Think they owe op an apology.

PetuniaPot · 23/05/2021 20:23

It does seem so very unlikely that she wouldn't mention it when prompted.