To think if there's something you don't want your kid to eat you say when asked not bitch about it later.

[BeansOnToast56]

So today I looked after my brothers girlfriends daughter for the day as she was working and her child care fell through. She is a relatively new girlfriend of about 9 months but due to covid I haven't really spent much time with her or her daughter but my brother is happy so that's ok with me. My dd is a year younger so it was no skin off my nose to have her here for the day, the girls played nicely and entertained each other. I asked her mum when she dropped her off if she had any allergies, things she didn't want her to have or things she didn't like, mum said she ate most things. She had lunch and dinner here so mum really should of said if there was things her daughter wasn't allowed to eat. The girls had bagels cream cheese, grapes, carrot sticks for lunch, crisps in the afternoon and chorizo pasta bake for dinner with peas and garlic bread with chocolate ice cream for pudding. Well my brother has rang kicking for because the child is vegetarian and her mum is very upset I didn't respect that, how the bloody hell am I suppose to know this? I asked mum and she didn't say her reply was she eats most things, no mention of her being a vegetarian at all. AIBU on to think this is mums fault and if she didn't say how was I suppose to know, her dd is 7 if that makes any difference and she didn't tell me herself.

she was to upset about my disrespectful behaviour

She seems to have forgotten that despite barely knowing her, you provided childcare ALL DAY for her.

@Crowsaregreat

She's wrong and ungrateful for the childcare but there's a possibility she might be in your family for years to come, do you really want a bad relationship on the basis of an inch or two of chorizo?

I'd get in touch to say you didn't realise child was veggie, would not have given her meat if you'd known, had no intention of disrespect and would love for the girls to play again one day. No apology but don't feed the drama.

This. Just this.

I frantically called his parents as it was not cool with me that he made the decision at my house.

Then you don’t let him make that decision at your house. You tell him that he should eat a veggie burger and that he can talk to his mum about it later. He was in your care, you respect the parents wishes of you shouldn’t have them over.

Your brother and his girlfriend sound terminally dim, ill-mannered and graceless. So in that sense, they're probably well matched.

Her insisting that you must have KNOWN they were veggie - I think there's going to be choppy waters ahead with that one.

I don’t understand how that is wrong Egghead81. I am a vegetarian and have been since early childhood, DH and DS (aged 11) also veggies. Neither of our other children are. If DS went to a BBQ, was informed which of the burgers was veggie but still wanted to eat the meat then that’s up to him. I wouldn’t be offended at all and would actually be fairly impressed that the parent had even tried to contact me. Unless it is allergy/health related surely it is an older child’s decision as to whether they eat meat or not?

@ilovemydogandMrObama

What did you expect the parents to say when you 'frantically' called them?

'Oh yes, that's fine, give him a beefburger'?

If a CHILD says he wants xyz and his parents have said NO xyz and you are responsible for him then you tell him 'no'. Not difficult really is it?

You are putting this thread off course, deliberately. Why try to find loopholes with people who don't want to cause suffering to animals?

And that goes for all the other posters trying to poke holes similarly.

[quote Egghead81]@ilovemydogandMrObama

Tried calling the mum and there was no answer.

When his dad picked him up, he couldn't wait to tell him that he had a beef burger...

This was a child. In your care. You knew a vegetarian. You shouldn’t have even called! What did you expect his mother to say? You couldn’t get through but thought “sod it” and have him a burger.

That was wrong.[/quote]
Wow, I am in awe of all the people who think I could have done more.

It was a BBQ. There were numerous children there.

I made provision for the vegetarians, showed the child where the veggie burgers were, and he said he wanted a beef a burger.

What should I have done? Stood over him and played interference? Wrestled the beef burger out of his mouth?

Fortunately his parents were OK with the decision as it was his decision. They would have preferred he stayed a vegetarian, but were always going to let him choose.

@KaleSlayer

I frantically called his parents as it was not cool with me that he made the decision at my house.

Then you don’t let him make that decision at your house. You tell him that he should eat a veggie burger and that he can talk to his mum about it later. He was in your care, you respect the parents wishes of you shouldn’t have them over.

She rang the mother What did she expect the mother to say

“Oh I know i said he was a vegetarian, but he says he wants a burger? Yeah go on, give him one”

She shouldn’t have even rung the mother
The mother told her the child was a vegetarian. Enough said.

I made provision for the vegetarians, showed the child where the veggie burgers were, and he said he wanted a beef a burger.

If your child said he wanted an ice cream, but you said that your child shouldn’t have dairy, would you be ok if the mother gave you child an ice cream?

@Egghead81

*I made provision for the vegetarians, showed the child where the veggie burgers were, and he said he wanted a beef a burger.*

If your child said he wanted an ice cream, but you said that your child shouldn’t have dairy, would you be ok if the mother gave you child an ice cream?

Tell me how you would have dealt with it?

* Fortunately his parents were OK with the decision as it was his decision. They would have preferred he stayed a vegetarian, but were always going to let him choose.*

In your first post, you say your child has not been invited around to theirs again.

And unique honestly - I call absolute bull shit on this being their reaction.

You’re trying to salvage fact you thought you’d told a funny story - but posters think the opposite

Vegiereggie

I agree that if a parent is vegetarian but their child wants to eat me, they should be free too.

But, I don’t think it’s my place to get involved in that though. So if a child is at my house, I go with the parents wishes.

I made provision for the vegetarians, showed the child where the veggie burgers were, and he said he wanted a beef a burger.

When was this? I lived through BSE so would be most unimpressed at you letting a child of mine eat your shite processed meat - would you let them have a cigarette if they asked for it?

Yup, dickish behaviour and the victorious smiley face sets the seal on that. You really got one over on those annoying veggie parents, feeding their child some processed connective tissue and cowbum. Go you.

* Tell me how you would have dealt with it?*

“Mum said you were a vegetarian, so he’s your tasty veggie burger. And you should see the ice creams I’ve got for dessert!”

Eat me? 🤣🤣🤣 no they can’t eat me ! MEAT, not me! 😬🤣

@Vegiereggie

I don’t understand how that is wrong Egghead81. I am a vegetarian and have been since early childhood, DH and DS (aged 11) also veggies. Neither of our other children are. If DS went to a BBQ, was informed which of the burgers was veggie but still wanted to eat the meat then that’s up to him. I wouldn’t be offended at all and would actually be fairly impressed that the parent had even tried to contact me. Unless it is allergy/health related surely it is an older child’s decision as to whether they eat meat or not?

I'm struggling to feel the outrage either. I think a child of 10 is old enough in principle to decide they want to be vegetarian. I'd struggle to see how the same doesn't apply to said child deciding they want to eat meat - esp if it's a one off at someone else's home and their own veggie parents are not being able to buy/handle meat.

Yes, the party organisers should respect the parents wishes as far as possible - which they did by providing a meat free option and steering the child in the direction of that food.

If I were the party organiser, I wouldn't be playing food police with a boy of 10 who decides that his parents wishes notwithstanding, he wants the meat option.

Exactly the child is old enough
Exactly

That is MY opinion though
The parents have said the child is a vegetarian
So whilst at my house, I will follow the parents
They can deal with the child asserting their dietary preferences. Not me.

Fortunately his parents were OK with the decision as it was his decision. They would have preferred he stayed a vegetarian, but were always going to let him choose.

You said ‘Now that I think about it, DD1 never got an invite to theirs . This implies there was an issue. But now suddenly everything was ok. 🤷🏻‍♀️

@BeansOnToast56 with the girlfriend going on about how THEY are veggie, I think your brother's sneaky bacon roll is also not allowed and he is probably shitting himself you will tell girlfriend he has been eating bacon!

@KaleSlayer

Fortunately his parents were OK with the decision as it was his decision. They would have preferred he stayed a vegetarian, but were always going to let him choose.

You said ‘Now that I think about it, DD1 never got an invite to theirs . This implies there was an issue. But now suddenly everything was ok. 🤷🏻‍♀️

When his parents picked him up, DD's friend told his dad.

I was very apologetic about it, as I understood the family were vegetarians. The dad said it was his choice.

Although have noted that DD1 has not been invited to theirs.

Although have noted that DD1 has not been invited to theirs.

That's because they think you're a dick.

* I was very apologetic about it, as I understood the family were vegetarians. *

What you apologetic about? Fact that you’d said yes to his request?

I'm sorry op but how the hell would you have known

@KaleSlayer

ilovemydogandMrObama

You have very much changed the tone of what you’re saying. I think the whole story was bollocks. Whatever.

Yep agree

But if she was “very apologetic” then presumably that was because she knew she was in the wrong!