Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Flexible and made to last.

Meet the Other Phone.
Flexible and made to last.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think if there's something you don't want your kid to eat you say when asked not bitch about it later.

356 replies

BeansOnToast56 · 23/05/2021 19:34

So today I looked after my brothers girlfriends daughter for the day as she was working and her child care fell through. She is a relatively new girlfriend of about 9 months but due to covid I haven't really spent much time with her or her daughter but my brother is happy so that's ok with me. My dd is a year younger so it was no skin off my nose to have her here for the day, the girls played nicely and entertained each other. I asked her mum when she dropped her off if she had any allergies, things she didn't want her to have or things she didn't like, mum said she ate most things. She had lunch and dinner here so mum really should of said if there was things her daughter wasn't allowed to eat. The girls had bagels cream cheese, grapes, carrot sticks for lunch, crisps in the afternoon and chorizo pasta bake for dinner with peas and garlic bread with chocolate ice cream for pudding. Well my brother has rang kicking for because the child is vegetarian and her mum is very upset I didn't respect that, how the bloody hell am I suppose to know this? I asked mum and she didn't say her reply was she eats most things, no mention of her being a vegetarian at all. AIBU on to think this is mums fault and if she didn't say how was I suppose to know, her dd is 7 if that makes any difference and she didn't tell me herself.

OP posts:
theemmadilemma · 24/05/2021 10:47

Have you asked your brother if she thinks he's veggie now too? I bet that's it.

Footloosefancyfree · 24/05/2021 10:48

What do your parents think about all this? I'd give her a wide berth to be honest keep contact to a minimal. She sounds batshit

Original poster
BeansOnToast56 · 24/05/2021 10:49

She pretty much refused to talk to me @KaleSlayer as she was to upset about my disrespectful behaviour. So nothing really got resolved last night apart from she admitted she never mentioned it when asked because I already knew. My brother said he will pop in after work later as doesn't want this to come between us, so I will see what he has to say for himself when he arrives. I have a dc with a serious allergy if I didn't tell somebody who was feeding him about it I couldn't possibly blame anybody but myself if he had a reaction, I am actually so shocked be her behaviour and hope this attention seeking isn't a personality trait.

OP posts:
SunnydaleClassProtector99 · 24/05/2021 10:50

@HeadNorth

This is turning into a 'ho ho ho, let's laugh at the funny vegetarians raising veggie children, what a hoot to undermine them' thread. Which I suspect may have been the OPs intention.

It is perfectly reasonable for children to be vegetarian and that should be respected. If the OP was not informed the child was vegetarian, then she did nothing wrong. But the predictable decline into all the time posters have hilariously fed a veggie child meat/why raising child vegetarian is wrong is depressing and rendering this thread unreasonable.

Yep.
Egghead81 · 24/05/2021 10:52

Odd thread

You didn’t know a veggie
You weren’t told
So why on earth you wander if you were unreasonable is quite frankly - odd

Egghead81 · 24/05/2021 10:52

Wonder

Original poster
BeansOnToast56 · 24/05/2021 10:52

I haven't involved my parents @Footloosefancyfree. They have only seen her once from a distance due to covid rules so know her even less than me and would have no idea she is veggie.

OP posts:
ilovemydogandMrObama · 24/05/2021 10:52

@KaleSlayer

ilovemydogandMrObama

Do you mean you fed a child meat, when they were vegetarian? Or he thought the vege burger was beef burger?

They were all on the table, and the child chose a beef burger! He was around 10 years old. I told him that the veggie burgers were on the other plate and he said he wanted a beef burger.

Not sure I fed him beef Confused

Howshouldibehave · 24/05/2021 10:54

@BeansOnToast56

She pretty much refused to talk to me *@KaleSlayer* as she was to upset about my disrespectful behaviour. So nothing really got resolved last night apart from she admitted she never mentioned it when asked because I already knew. My brother said he will pop in after work later as doesn't want this to come between us, so I will see what he has to say for himself when he arrives. I have a dc with a serious allergy if I didn't tell somebody who was feeding him about it I couldn't possibly blame anybody but myself if he had a reaction, I am actually so shocked be her behaviour and hope this attention seeking isn't a personality trait.
She really doesn’t sound a very nice person! I would tell your brother that you are very upset that you’re being made out to be a liar and you obviously won’t be doing any more childcare for her, which is really sad as the kids got on.

Whatever you do, DON’T agree to having the child again to ‘make it up to her’ (the girlfriend) and say you just need to try a bit harder next time! She sounds like she is trying to control the situation for some reason-don’t be any part of it. If your brother sides with her, then that’s his poor choice. It will be interesting to see who else she is pissed off with in future-his friends, parents etc. She could be trying to isolate him.

Egghead81 · 24/05/2021 10:54

@BeansOnToast56

She pretty much refused to talk to me *@KaleSlayer* as she was to upset about my disrespectful behaviour. So nothing really got resolved last night apart from she admitted she never mentioned it when asked because I already knew. My brother said he will pop in after work later as doesn't want this to come between us, so I will see what he has to say for himself when he arrives. I have a dc with a serious allergy if I didn't tell somebody who was feeding him about it I couldn't possibly blame anybody but myself if he had a reaction, I am actually so shocked be her behaviour and hope this attention seeking isn't a personality trait.
I read this as it’s like another reading about another specie!

You’re adults
Family
You weren’t told
You didn’t know

You all need to just grow up!

KaleSlayer · 24/05/2021 10:55

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

Greenrubber · 24/05/2021 10:56

OP you know you didn't do anything unreasonable!
I'm with a few other posters and think your brother may be pretending to be a vegetarian and this is why it's been made into such a drama!

But just to clarify to a few people on this thread
Bringing up a child veggie or vegan can be really healthy
There is no need to mock them it's pointless and it makes you look rediculous

And to one poster you can get all essential amino acids from a plant based diet you don't need to get them from dead animals

Goldenskeletons · 24/05/2021 10:57

This happened to me!

At 17 I babysat for one of my mums friends son who was about 7.

She told me to just make him something from the freezer.

So I made him nuggets and chips. He didn't say anything at ate them all.

Mum's Friend called later and asked where her husbands chicken nuggets were 😂

Apparently her and her son were veggie but she never mentioned it!

ilovemydogandMrObama · 24/05/2021 10:58

@KaleSlayer

They were all on the table, and the child chose a beef burger! He was around 10 years old. I told him that the veggie burgers were on the other plate and he said he wanted a beef burger.

Well, I think you were wrong. And your silly grinning face in your previous post says it all really. Some people are just dicks.

Lol - I am a dick because at a BBQ, a child who I made provisions for, decided he wanted a beef burger. I frantically called his parents as it was not cool with me that he made the decision at my house.

But yeah, I'll remember that I am a dick. Hmm

Footloosefancyfree · 24/05/2021 10:59

Give her a wide berth you don't need drama like this see your dbro separately and just keep her at a distance I doubt this will be the last 'offence' you do she sounds highly strung. I must admit it's abit off just letting someone she doesn't know have her child all day it's not something I'd do. She's likely burnt her bridges else where.

Egghead81 · 24/05/2021 10:59

@KaleSlayer

There was no apology from her at all she just insisted that I knew THEY were veggie already. I am really at a loss to why she would actually think this tho.

But when you asked ‘how on earth was I meant to know?’..what did they say?

We very rarely get the full exchange from an OP Just drivs and drab which fit with them
Figgygal · 24/05/2021 10:59

She sounds like an idiot op
You didn’t do anything wrong

Crowsaregreat · 24/05/2021 11:00

She's wrong and ungrateful for the childcare but there's a possibility she might be in your family for years to come, do you really want a bad relationship on the basis of an inch or two of chorizo?

I'd get in touch to say you didn't realise child was veggie, would not have given her meat if you'd known, had no intention of disrespect and would love for the girls to play again one day. No apology but don't feed the drama.

saraclara · 24/05/2021 11:00

I have a dc with a serious allergy if I didn't tell somebody who was feeding him about it I couldn't possibly blame anybody but myself if he had a reaction

Which makes it even clearer that you couldn't possibly have known, or you'd have followed the instruction. And a big point to make when you see your brother.

There is not a single thing here that your brother should be blaming you for. You did a kind thing by looking after the girl you barely know, for the day. You asked for food information.

You did nothing that should cause anything to "come betwen you" and anything other than an apology for making you feel bad after you'd done a huge favour, should come from him.

Egghead81 · 24/05/2021 11:03

@ilovemydogandMrObama

Tried calling the mum and there was no answer.

When his dad picked him up, he couldn't wait to tell him that he had a beef burger...

This was a child. In your care. You knew a vegetarian. You shouldn’t have even called! What did you expect his mother to say? You couldn’t get through but thought “sod it” and have him a burger.

That was wrong.

TheFormidableMrsC · 24/05/2021 11:04

Sounds like she was setting you up for a fall, particularly as she refuses to speak to you about it. It just sounds manipulative to me.

msbevvy · 24/05/2021 11:04

Maybe he is coming round so you don't say in front of her that he isn't vegetarian.

Egghead81 · 24/05/2021 11:05

* She is a relatively new girlfriend of about 9 months*

So curious how the heck a new relationship could have started 9 months ago when we have been in lockdown for most of that time!

AncoraAmarena · 24/05/2021 11:06

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

Egghead81 · 24/05/2021 11:06

The person who comes off worse is the brother

What a wet blanket