‘Can you even fit in that chair?’ - am I just being sensitive?

[Okimbig]

I’m big. I know I am, I’ve gained weight rapidly since having my baby, who is now one. I have postnatal depression and I guess food has been my comfort. I hate my body and I’m uncomfortable, I’m naturally around a size 10. This body doesn’t feel right and I am trying to do something about it right now.

My issue is that my mum keeps making comments. She calls me obese, tells me to get my fat arse out of the way, and when I told her that made me upset she came right up in my face and said ‘I’ll say what I want in my house, move your fat f*cking arse.’

Yesterday, I went over to see her no office and my family were there (office built in the garden). I sat down in an office chair and she told me ‘there’s a weight limit on those, you know. Can you even fit in it?’, despite the chair being fine.

She tells me she would be miserable in my size and that skinny = happy.

I’m a size 18, so I know I am big, but I’m so upset with the comments. Am I just being sensitive?

No you’re not, your mum is a nasty cow and you don’t need to put up with being spoken to like that.

She is a nasty bully. Do you live with her or can you reduce contact with her?

I wouldn’t be seeing her again. The way she speaks to you is beyond disgusting and abusive.

For your mental health you need to stop spending time with her.

That’s awful
If she won’t listen to you is there someone else who can talk to her?
She needs to know her behaviour is unacceptable

Your mother is a toxic bitch. Do you have to see her?

What a horrible thing to say. Is this the first time your mum has acted like this?

No, I don’t live with her. I can reduce contact, it would just be hard because I would feel guilty about her not seeing my son.

That's an appalling way to speak to you. She's being obnoxious.

Jesus, why are you putting up with her company when she is so rude?

YANBU. Your mum is being horrible.

What a nasty cow! Cut her out for a bit till your confidence comes back and then give her what for!

“Yeah, but I can lose the weight. You’ll still be an old woman.”

She can see your son when she's sorted her behaviour out. That's not setting a great example for him.

Yeah, you don't want your son being near that either.

What a disgusting way she speaks to you, this is awful and hurtful. Does she has history of treating you like this? I would distance yourself and your baby from her and tell her why, it’s bullying and unnecessary.

"she came right up in my face and said ‘I’ll say what I want in my house, move your fat f*cking arse.’"

At that point I'd have taken my fat fucking arse right out the door and my son would be coming with me until she learned to kee

She’s a really horrible bully. I would be withdrawing contact - you don’t have to put yourself through that.

Size 18 isn't that big ffs ..

you were treated very rudely OP 🌸

Stop seeing her.
In a few years do you want your son to be thinking that's an ok way to talk to people?

Rather than feeling guilty for her not seeing your son, feel proud you’re son won’t have to see her, God for bid your child goes through a chubby stage, could do serious damage

What a nasty twat your mum is. Why would you feel guilty about your son not seeing her? My daughter would never be around someone who could be so nasty to their own child. Cut her out.

said ‘I’ll say what I want in my house, move your fat fcking arse.’*
Stop spending time around this pig ignorant savage, fgs.

Fucking hell I wouldn't let such an abusive bully anywhere near me or my son. Put her in the bin and spend your time and efforts on people who don't abuse you.

No, you aren’t being sensitive - your mother is being a nasty rude cow. She is reducing your value as a person to your size - and she appears to be enjoying being as vicious as possible in the process.

None of this would appear to reflect a genuine concern for your health.

Can you limit your time with her? Normally when parents are being unhelpfully critical it’s worth just telling them that you don’t need their opinions. But in this case I’m not sure that will work.

No you're not being sensitive she is being outright nasty. You know you need to do something about it and you're not happy, she should be supporting you to do that not putting you down. Even if you were in complete denial about it that's no way to talk to anyone. She could offer to help I.e. babysit 1 yr old while you go to a fitness class or the gym etc. But instead she is essentially bullying you over it. Can you see her less often if she wont stop? She will make you feel worse which won't help you tackle it. Sorry she is being like this.