‘Can you even fit in that chair?’ - am I just being sensitive?

[Okimbig]

I’m big. I know I am, I’ve gained weight rapidly since having my baby, who is now one. I have postnatal depression and I guess food has been my comfort. I hate my body and I’m uncomfortable, I’m naturally around a size 10. This body doesn’t feel right and I am trying to do something about it right now.

My issue is that my mum keeps making comments. She calls me obese, tells me to get my fat arse out of the way, and when I told her that made me upset she came right up in my face and said ‘I’ll say what I want in my house, move your fat f*cking arse.’

Yesterday, I went over to see her no office and my family were there (office built in the garden). I sat down in an office chair and she told me ‘there’s a weight limit on those, you know. Can you even fit in it?’, despite the chair being fine.

She tells me she would be miserable in my size and that skinny = happy.

I’m a size 18, so I know I am big, but I’m so upset with the comments. Am I just being sensitive?

I don’t see my grandmother because of similar comments.

If she can’t be nice she doesn’t get the privilege of seeing my children, it’s basically as simple as that. I don’t deserve to be treated like shit and neither do you, stop punishing your leaf by continuing to go and rewarding her by letting her spend time with your baby.

Tell your Mum that if she as much as mentions your weight again, she'll never see you or her gc again. Tell her that just as she can say what she likes, so can you. And do what you like too.

She is an appallingly nasty person op. Think of it as protecting your ds.

I wouldn’t want someone who makes such hurtful comments near my son.

If you do feel strongly about her having a relationship with your son I would issue one ultimatum that she is not ever to call you fat , fat shame you in any way then there would be no contact at all- and stick to it.

You have to protect your son.

Omg your mum says these comments to you? Thats unforgiveable!

Depending on how brave you are feeling , I would be tempted to text your Dad and let him know he is welcome to come and see his grandson at yours but that until your Mother stops being a complete bitch she won't be welcome. That should put the cat among the pigeons ! If he wants to see your DS he will have to confront your Mother and her shocking behaviour, which he deserves for not sticking up for you.

And be honest @Okimbig, nobody really likes your mother do they ? She has probably got away with shit like this for years because people are a little scared of her ?

Omg - your mum says this? I assumed it was just some random bitch in the office/school run. Which would still be bad enough.

That is awful, I'm so sorry. You can only do what you are doing and cut contact with her.

There is never any reason to comment on appearance unless explicitly asked. Horrible woman.

No YANB sensitive: Your mum is toxic and is being abusive. Staying around her whilst she's like this won't help your postnatal depression or set a good example to your son. You have every right to walk away guilt free. We teach people how to treat us. Boundaries are key.

So sorry

My mum is a fattist. She's not as nasty as yours but she is obsessed with her weight and other peoples weight

I would avoid seeing her if you can

Imagine if she spoke to your son like that. If she can’t be civil to you, she doesn’t get the opportunity to be nasty to him either. Reduce contact I think.

I’m so sorry she’s being so horrible

I'm so sorry about how your mum is treating you.
She is being absolutely horrible. Have you called her out on her behaviour?
I would limit contact.

Your son is still a babe in arms? And therefore has no idea whether he sees her or not. She does not deserve to see him if this is how she treats his mother!

If I were you I'd be staying well away until either you've (healthily and in your own time) lost the weight OR ideally she has apologised and promised not to be such a critical nasty piece of work!

I'm not surprised you have pnd with people like that around you!

Far better for your health all round to stay well away from her

Also very unsurprised at the ED and strongly suspect she has similar issues herself

A mother shouldn’t speak like that to her daughter. You are not being too sensitive. That is a disgraceful way for her to speak to you and must affect you for the worse.

Why don't you just insult her back?
I'm not saying it will solve anything but it might be a laugh

I would not like.it contact. Stop it.

Sorry that should have read: I would not limit contact. Stop it.

You are not too big for a chair and although you hate the weight I've no doubt you look,and are,a lot slimmer than you think due to the nasty comments.
Beauty is in the person not the body.your body has just created a life,love your body and yourself.
Stop contact with her and enjoy your time with your baby.🌈