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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Two week holiday, family room, no sex

559 replies

Timetheworldsaysicantafford · 22/05/2021 22:40

We are looking to book a special holiday for 2022 to Walt Disney World - two young children, and after researching I think the best option for us would be a family room onsite rather than a villa with separate bedrooms. Husband is grumpy because that would mean no sex for two weeks. I'm frustrated because I don't see how that should be the main factor deciding this type of holiday?! Perspective needed!!

OP posts:
jackstini · 22/05/2021 22:53

How old are kids? They will probable completely shattered on a typical Disney holiday and you can do it in the bathroom!

Is there a specific reason you are choosing a Disney hotel? We do, as it's great - but only when we get free Disney dining tbh

thecatwithnoeyes · 22/05/2021 22:53

@Keepitonthedownlow

Two weeks in the same room sounds a bit claustrophobic to be honest

You don't have to stay in the room for 2 weeks Grin

When we went to Disney we spent hardly any time in the room. It was for sleeping and washing only.

Sex? It's 2 weeks, 2 small weeks. Surely he can just have a shower wank or something

Summersun2020 · 22/05/2021 22:54

Agreed that 2 weeks in the same room sounds like hell.
Also, massive 🙄 to the people calling him childish and saying it’s unreasonable that he might want sex. I would hate to not be able to spontaneously have sex on holiday. It’s the adults holiday too, behave with the nonsense about putting his kids needs first. They’re going to Disney world ffs 🙄 the kids aren’t gaining anything from sharing a family room.

Hoppinggreen · 22/05/2021 22:54

What if you don’t have sex for 2 weeks simply because you don’t want to? Is he grumpy then?

VenusTiger · 22/05/2021 22:54

I'd feel pissed off to if I'm being honest - some families need a break from work life, school life, home life, same 4 walls and the relaxation on a holiday definitely puts you in the mood so I can understand it OP, nothing to do with demand, it's about happy times on hols.
Everyone needs a bit of release and that includes intimacy - try and get a bit of what everyone wants and needs - try an apartment or condo.

TheCraicDealer · 22/05/2021 22:56

Well he's being a bit ridiculous. Disney days are long and tiring, after walking 10+ miles around the parks in hot weather, looking after two kids, the last thing most of us want is to have a shag. We went just before lockdown and there wasn't even a whimper in that regard from DH. Staying on site is infinitely more convenient than a villa and I wouldn't compromise everyone else's trip because he wanted a rattle.

The rooms are a fairly decent size and standard for any American hotel room. There are some resorts which have "family rooms" (Art of Animation definitely have them) with a seperate living area with a sofa bed, but expect to pay around 50% more.

You could do a few days down on International Drive (a good idea anyway if you plan on doing Universal or any shopping days) at the start or end of the trip, and book something with seperate rooms.

AugustMummyxo · 22/05/2021 22:57

@Summersun2020
Why does not having sex mean the adults wouldn't enjoy their holiday? One year I was in Tenerife and really fancied fish and chips from my local but tough shit I could have it. Holiday wasn't ruined mind....

Strugglingtodomybest · 22/05/2021 22:57

I did think about not being able to have sex and I saw people saying do it in the bathroom, but to be honest 2 weeks is nothing really and we were tied every night anyway.

Ooo, kinky! Sounds fun Grin

PreferToSitInTheShade · 22/05/2021 22:58

Staying in one room wouldn't bother me, we've done it loads of times with 2 children, they were always well behaved and pretty good sleepers.

It never occurred to us to worry about having sex - more excited about having a holiday. Maybe we're weird. I'd find it off-putting if dh put sex at the forefront of every plan we made.

CarnationCat · 22/05/2021 22:58

I don't think it would be claustrophobic at all for most families sharing a room for two weeks. You're out for the whole day and probably most of the night. You're only sleeping there.

It's quite strange to me that your DH's most important thought about the holiday was sex. I love sex as much as the next person but I wouldn't be thinking about this when booking a family holiday. I would still go with the room on site and re sex, be creative and use the bathroom.

As a pp said, what would your DH do if you didn't want to have sex for two weeks?

tobedtoMNandfart · 22/05/2021 22:59

@Summersun2020

Agreed that 2 weeks in the same room sounds like hell. Also, massive 🙄 to the people calling him childish and saying it’s unreasonable that he might want sex. I would hate to not be able to spontaneously have sex on holiday. It’s the adults holiday too, behave with the nonsense about putting his kids needs first. They’re going to Disney world ffs 🙄 the kids aren’t gaining anything from sharing a family room.
You behave. We were all asked for our opinion.
OverTheRubicon · 22/05/2021 22:59

I'd be a bit annoyed to be using half of my annual leave and spending a lot of money to spend all my days at Disney doing kids stuff AND all my evenings tiptoeing around in the dark because they're asleep and getting no adult time - regardless of whether sex is on the menu. And I say that as someone who generally quite likes structuring holidays around child-friendly/focussed activities.

I agree with pps that holidays should be about adult relaxation not only kids fun, especially a long one like this. Personally I'd compromise on location. 2 weeks is ages, it won't matter if you have to spend a bit longer travelling.

Vodkaandballoon · 22/05/2021 23:01

2 weeks in a family room would be hell. Villa's out there are cheap as chips. I would go for a Villa with a pool. Disney is exhausting, we spent at least a couple days chilling by the pool. Don't you want to be able to put the kids to bed & enjoy a few drinks & adult time?

PremierSmeage · 22/05/2021 23:03

I couldn't be arsed with paying extra for a bedroom shag.

Floor? Balcony? Bath??

Bagelsandbrie · 22/05/2021 23:03

It’s 2 weeks out of his life. He’s being ridiculous.

AlmostSummer21 · 22/05/2021 23:04

The kids will be so wiped out you'll be fine IF you have the energy to be borthered!

Ikeameatballs · 22/05/2021 23:05

I would struggle with this tbh.

Never really been an issue due to circumstances but there would be no way I’d try to go on holiday for 2weeks with DP and DC in one room with no sex on the cards. Now that is undoubtedly influenced by DP not being the DC dad and by the current ages of DC (15 and 11) but I really would have struggled with it. It’s not just the lack of sex but the overall impact on intimacy and sleep patterns.

AugustMummyxo · 22/05/2021 23:08

OP has stated she's researched and the single room appears to be the best option. The husband hasn't said he's unhappy because it will be cramped or that they will be on top of each other. He is unhappy because he won't be getting any for two weeks Hmm

There's a lot of comments stating how it would be 'hell for them'. Yes, that might be for you. Some families may really enjoy this set up. This isn't the issue. The issue is husband is concerned he won't get able to have sex for two weeks.

OP I say book the single room and over the next year stop having sex for a couple of weeks at a time so he's used to it by the time you go Grin

JudgeJ · 22/05/2021 23:08

[quote AugustMummyxo]@hippopootamus

On a holiday to Disney which is mainly for the kids? Hmm[/quote]
Kids of all ages though! We're in our 70s and love it.

Feelinghothothottoday · 22/05/2021 23:09

1000s of people go camping for their main holiday and manage in a tent with no privacy for two weeks. It’s perfectly normal not to have sex when on a holiday with young kids. Some of us cannot afford anything else. Disneyland sounds fantastic and you will have a great time.

Melitza · 22/05/2021 23:09

I've only been to Disney Paris but 2 weeks?
In Disney land?
Sounds like hell.
No wonder dh is grumpy, little people all day and no sex at night!

MegBusset · 22/05/2021 23:10

The theme parks and heat are exhausting, surely you won't want to spend all day every day at the parks for two weeks and will want somewhere you can chill out and have some downtime. I think a villa or hotel with pool would be much more relaxing, sex or no sex...

AugustMummyxo · 22/05/2021 23:11

@JudgeJ true, but in this instance they are going on holiday with their young children. Context...

WorraLiberty · 22/05/2021 23:12

[quote AugustMummyxo]@Summersun2020
Why does not having sex mean the adults wouldn't enjoy their holiday? One year I was in Tenerife and really fancied fish and chips from my local but tough shit I could have it. Holiday wasn't ruined mind....[/quote]
Ahh fish and chips.

That wonderful meal that helps bond relationships and makes you feel that little bit closer...

AugustMummyxo · 22/05/2021 23:13

@WorraLiberty if you're married, got kids and going Disney and say you're already pretty bonded for Christ's sake