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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Two week holiday, family room, no sex

559 replies

Timetheworldsaysicantafford · 22/05/2021 22:40

We are looking to book a special holiday for 2022 to Walt Disney World - two young children, and after researching I think the best option for us would be a family room onsite rather than a villa with separate bedrooms. Husband is grumpy because that would mean no sex for two weeks. I'm frustrated because I don't see how that should be the main factor deciding this type of holiday?! Perspective needed!!

OP posts:
miltonj · 24/05/2021 18:27

He wants to be intimate with his partner, it's not weird. The person who suggested he has a shower wank is weird though.

I would definitely get a room with privacy for the adults and somewhere to be once the kids are in bed, regardless of wether sex is on the cards. I would however think it's pretty standard for adults to want to have sex with each other at least a few times in the space of two weeks... especially on holiday!!

Littlefluffyclouds13 · 24/05/2021 18:32

@miltonj

He wants to be intimate with his partner, it's not weird. The person who suggested he has a shower wank is weird though.

I would definitely get a room with privacy for the adults and somewhere to be once the kids are in bed, regardless of wether sex is on the cards. I would however think it's pretty standard for adults to want to have sex with each other at least a few times in the space of two weeks... especially on holiday!!

The shower wank suggestion was horrible. Can you imagine how different the responses would have been if op was the dh and the 'sex pest' was his wife Hmm
GuidoTheKillerPimp · 24/05/2021 18:33

I’m with your husband: I wouldn’t want not to be able to have sex on holiday.

MrsKoala · 24/05/2021 18:34

@TentTalk

I'm amazed at all these people that won't have sex with sleeping young kids in the room! Did you never do it when your babies shared a room with you?
No never. How old would they be with you having sex with them in the room asleep? What if they woke up? I could never get in the mood with the thought of that and if they are older and wake up exposing children to sex is considered abuse. From the NSPCC site:

not taking proper measures to prevent a child being exposed to sexual activities by others

I'd say having sex in the room they are in is not taking proper measures.

Most of the hotels I've looked at only have family rooms, there often just isn't the option to have a 2 bedroom. We prioritise the facilities; pool, entertainment, food etc over us having private time. We also co sleep so there is no period when the kids are in bed that we can sneak off to the bathroom.

peppermintpat · 24/05/2021 18:36

@SussexCharm2000

When kids are asleep take a bath or shower together … worked for us ❤️
You obviously missed the thread 'Things that should be sexy but aren't' !!! They featured quite a bit 😂😂😂
bonbonours · 24/05/2021 18:36

Nothing wrong with hoping/expecting to have sex while on holiday. It's a family holiday but it should still be enjoyable for the adults. I'd have thought most people with kids have mastered the art of quiet sex under the covers while kids are asleep, I know we have. We've even done it while camping with kids in the tent lol. Maybe not your best sex ever but good enough to keep marital harmony ....

SunflowerOwl · 24/05/2021 18:37

DH and I went for two weeks with a group of friends and I think we only had sex once or twice the whole time as we were both so knackered in the evenings! So wouldnt bother me at all.

I always find the WDW snobs odd. It's possible to enjoy lots of different types of holidays. We've done beach holidays, city breaks, theme parks, adventure holidays, skiing holidays, UK camping holidays etc and I've enjoyed them all in different ways. We had an absolute blast in Florida, it was glorious to just let loose and feel like a kid again for a fortnight! Recommend Volcano Bay by the way Smile.

lulujuju · 24/05/2021 18:37

Agree that it sounds like hell for 2 weeks! But yes, do it quietly in the shower

DaisyDreaming · 24/05/2021 18:38

It’s 2 weeks not 2 years and will be amazing memories for your kids

Tatum1234 · 24/05/2021 18:39

We spent three weeks in one room at a Universal hotel, wasn’t a problem sharing a room with our four kids as we were barely in there. And yes, use the bathroom 😂

bonbonours · 24/05/2021 18:39

@MrsKoala if we were having sex while kids were asleep in the room it would be quiet and under the covers. In the unlikely event of kids waking up we would immediately stop and pull the pj bottoms back on! Definitely not child abuse lol.

Mind you now ours are teens they stay up later than us. We haven't shared a hotel room since they were little.

Macieb · 24/05/2021 18:39

Staying in a villa gives you much more freedom and will be a lot cheaper than staying onsite. I couldn't imagine staying in 1 room for 2 weeks, the constant tidying etc sounds like absolute hell. What you'd save doing a villa you could prob do 2 years in a row.

Re the sex thing though...he is being ridiculous.

SunflowerOwl · 24/05/2021 18:39

Also having sex 'quietly' when your kids are in the same room?

This is grim, I'd have been mortified to have woken up to my parents shagging 6ft away from me!

pollymere · 24/05/2021 18:41

I really wouldn't. The rooms are horribly small, never mind the sex! It will also be difficult to spend anytime together once the kids are asleep. Two weeks also sounds horrible. Your kids will get very ratty. There is so much other stuff to see in Florida! (Also consider flights to St Petersburg as they were so much cheaper and the same distance!) Maybe do some nights on site and the rest in a lodge or similar that is non-Disney (you can still visit the parks, or take some time out in between).

MrsKoala · 24/05/2021 18:43

@bonbonours but how will you know if they are awake? what if they just wake and lay there listening wondering what the noises are? that could be quite disturbing for a child. It's not something id risk or be able to orgasm with. I'd rather no sex than shit sex with the added risk of upsetting my dc.

TinselTinsel · 24/05/2021 18:56

Surely there's another room for bonky bonks!

Serpenta · 24/05/2021 19:00

instant divorce from anyone who refers to 'bonky bonks'

fairyvoodoodolly · 24/05/2021 19:09

On the subject of both issues;

All Star Music Family suite. It has two rooms. You have privacy. There’s a door between the rooms.

Likewise, Art of Animation family suites. Also two rooms.
Privacy for the good reasons for you both (sex) and as a family (space and separation before you all go mad. Being on site is so much easier, especially with kids.

ginastill · 24/05/2021 19:09

Is it really a holiday if it's no intimacy, no privacy? I wouldn't go through that even if I was paid to, I certainly wouldn't pay for experience. Sex aside, privacy and space are really important

Overwhelmed245 · 24/05/2021 19:09

@Timetheworldsaysicantafford we had a family room once on a trip to Disney I wouldn’t recommend it my sister and I felt like we had no space and ended up not being able to relax although we where 12ish so being in a room with my snoring dad and over worrying mum wasn’t my ideal holiday although it was Disney and I would do it again if it meant I got to go

HaveringWavering · 24/05/2021 19:16

@TentTalk

I'm amazed at all these people that won't have sex with sleeping young kids in the room! Did you never do it when your babies shared a room with you?
You really see no difference in perception of adults shagging between a baby and a child old enough to appreciate a theme park? Don’t be ridiculous!
Milkandhoney888 · 24/05/2021 19:17

Tbh i also agree with your husband, i would struggle being around my partner and not being able to be intimate. It would definitely be a factor for me. Yes it's a kid's focused holiday but it's still also yours and husband's holiday intimacy is clearly important. Although better ways to go about it than sulk

Penistoe · 24/05/2021 19:26

We had a family room and Sec on the bathroom floor. Just saying

Grim

JinglingHellsBells · 24/05/2021 19:28

I'm amazed at all these people that won't have sex with sleeping young kids in the room! Did you never do it when your babies shared a room with you? @TentTalk

No, never. because for the first 6 months I was too sore from stitches, too tired from BF all night long, and sex was the last thing I wanted. And after that the DC was in their own room.

TinselTinsel · 24/05/2021 19:33

@Serpenta

instant divorce from anyone who refers to 'bonky bonks'
I'd have to be stupid enough to put a ring on it for divorce Grin
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