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Original poster

How would you punish a 15 year old who told you to piss off?

638 replies

Sillawithans · 22/05/2021 13:53

Stepson lives with me full time, no mother in the picture. Told all 4 children during the week that I wanted them to help around the house this morning and to not make plans.

He came down ready to go at nine, conversation went back and forth for a few mins, he left. I then messaged him and told him he was grounded when he got home and no pocket money for 2 weeks. He then told me to piss off and to get a grip. When I said you're grounded now he said oh ok, but I'm not.

Not gonna lie, I wanted to fucking throttle him.

I've removed his PlayStation, think I'll go for the phone later too, he will be grounded and no pocket money for at least two weeks.

He's turning 16 in June, I ordered him an IPhone just yesterday that he has wanted for a long time and cancelled it this morning, fuck that, now he can piss off. He didn't know about the phone as it was a surprise.

Little shit.

OP posts:
Seeline · 22/05/2021 14:30

At least learn how the education system works before wasting everybody's time

hparkins · 22/05/2021 14:30

your updates are very odd...your 14 year old son and nearly 16 year old step son are not in year 8 in the UK unless they've been kept a year or two behind...and for them both to of been kept a year behind is very strange.

as an aside, he shouldnt of spoken to you like that but the multiple punishments are over the top. if you do all of that for being told to piss off, what do you escalate to if he does worse??

TheWitchCirce · 22/05/2021 14:30

This is bonkers - he cannot be both turning 16 this academic year and in year 8 if you are in the UK.

gingerandproud4always · 22/05/2021 14:31

@Sillawithans

He's 15 now, turns 16 June 23rd. He was born in 2005. He is from a foreign country, started school here when he was around 7. My own children are 13, she's in year 6 in primary, I've a 13 year old daughter in first year, year 7 and my 14 year old son is in year 8.
This makes my brain hurt. How does this happen? I don't think it's a good idea to have a 16 year old boy with 12 year olds at school. No wonder he's frustrated with his life.
Bloodypunkrockers · 22/05/2021 14:31

@Miasicarisatia

What happens with dictators is those they have bullied wait until they weaken and then take revenge
Ok ok

We see you

Dishwashersaurous · 22/05/2021 14:31

Why has he been held back two years at school?

A 15 year old should be in year 10.

Or he is actually 13, which would probably get a different reaction

KurtWilde · 22/05/2021 14:31

@forsucksfake

These "overreaction" replies must be from teens or the permissive parents of rude teens.

If any 16-y-o child in my care swore at me, there would be hell to pay until I got a sincere apology. You're right to cancel the iPhone and to take away the PlayStation and any other privileges until he says sorry and starts chipping in more around the house. You'll be doing yourself, your other kids, and the world a huge favour. Stay firm.

I'm not a teen, and my DC aren't rude. I just don't see the need for such a massive knee jerk reaction.
user1471447924 · 22/05/2021 14:31

Yep. This is absolutely and definitely real.

Original poster
Sillawithans · 22/05/2021 14:31

Its not rot. He missed the first 2 years of school here. Started in first class so missed junior and senior infants.

Why on earth would I lie about him being almost 16 and in year 8.

OP posts:
Seeline · 22/05/2021 14:31

You don't even know how old your own kids are 😳

nimbuscloud · 22/05/2021 14:32

So a 7 year old came to the UK and started school with 4 year olds ?

user1471447924 · 22/05/2021 14:32

Is it you who’s 15?

hparkins · 22/05/2021 14:32

and your 12 year old is not in year 6. my sister will only be 10 when she goes into year 6 and will turn 11 during that year.

such blatant lying makes people suspicious of the whole thread.

Dishwashersaurous · 22/05/2021 14:33

OK, so you are not in the UK?

He must find it really difficult being in a school class with much younger children.

Faultymain5 · 22/05/2021 14:33

OP I think you’re getting a hard time here. Step mums usually do in this wacky world callled mumsnet.

I once threw a wooden brush at my DS. My Dsis continues to tease me about it to this day. My DS still loves me when he bothers to speak to me. So all is not lost.

I think there are some great takeaways from pp. So pocket money yes take that away since he’s supposed to earn it and he hasn’t. Then maybe the PlayStation for leaving if you think it’s separate to not doing what chore he was supposed to do. Then finally, the swearing needs to be dealt with. Grounding though he seems to think you can’t or PlayStation depending on whether you view his behaviour as 3 separate issues or just two. Good luck

Btw I think dad should be dealing with this. I wouldn’t have cancelled his present, but now I’m thinking he might think you’re trying to buy him if you re -ordered it.

GreyhoundG1rl · 22/05/2021 14:33

@Sillawithans

He's 15 now, turns 16 June 23rd. He was born in 2005. He is from a foreign country, started school here when he was around 7. My own children are 13, she's in year 6 in primary, I've a 13 year old daughter in first year, year 7 and my 14 year old son is in year 8.
Year 7's are not 13, op
Twoforthree · 22/05/2021 14:33

At that age, you can’t go round about it like that. It just escalates.

You need to discuss it and make him reach the conclusion that he was out of order, himself. Maybe agree a suitable repercussion between you.
Now you’ll just have got his back up, he’ll be full of resentment and you won’t achieve your aim of making him feel remorseful.

nimbuscloud · 22/05/2021 14:33

Why on earth would I lie about him being almost 16 and in year 8.

Year 7 is for 11 year olds
Year 8 is for 12 year olds

Hellocatshome · 22/05/2021 14:33

*Its not rot. He missed the first 2 years of school here. Started in first class so missed junior and senior infants.

Why on earth would I lie about him being almost 16 and in year 8.*

Does he go to private school? Even so it would be very unusual and I think would cause lots of emotional issues for a nearly 16 year old to be in the same class as 12/13 year olds.

Whats the reason your son has been held back a year? If he is 14 he should be in year 9.

GreyhoundG1rl · 22/05/2021 14:33

@Sillawithans

Its not rot. He missed the first 2 years of school here. Started in first class so missed junior and senior infants.

Why on earth would I lie about him being almost 16 and in year 8.

Are you in Ireland?
KurtWilde · 22/05/2021 14:33

@Sillawithans

He's 15 now, turns 16 June 23rd. He was born in 2005. He is from a foreign country, started school here when he was around 7. My own children are 13, she's in year 6 in primary, I've a 13 year old daughter in first year, year 7 and my 14 year old son is in year 8.
Err no
AutumnOrange · 22/05/2021 14:33

You said this is the first time you have asked him to help out for an hour. Why? Why hasn’t he grown up with the habit of having to help out? That’s the failing.
On the other hand I have been guilty of escalating punishments with my dc 😳 to the point we all ended up laughing which broke the tension and we ended up having a good chat about expectations. I think I said something like you aren’t going to a party, then you aren’t having your phone, then you won’t have access to the WiFi, then I won’t buy your favourite cereal, then Christmas is cancelled forever, 😂 It was ridiculous!

Original poster
Sillawithans · 22/05/2021 14:34

We live in Ireland not that it makes much difference as our school systems are similar.
Secondary kids here don't finish until they're 18 ish.

OP posts:
megletthesecond · 22/05/2021 14:35

I'm going to try cowbells trick.

"Piss off" isn't that bad tbh.

traumatisednoodle · 22/05/2021 14:35

Part of my job is working with child refugees, they go into the year appropriate to their biological age reguardless of how much education they have had or how much english they can speak. This is in Kent, can't believe it would be substantially different elsewhere

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