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Original poster

How would you punish a 15 year old who told you to piss off?

638 replies

Sillawithans · 22/05/2021 13:53

Stepson lives with me full time, no mother in the picture. Told all 4 children during the week that I wanted them to help around the house this morning and to not make plans.

He came down ready to go at nine, conversation went back and forth for a few mins, he left. I then messaged him and told him he was grounded when he got home and no pocket money for 2 weeks. He then told me to piss off and to get a grip. When I said you're grounded now he said oh ok, but I'm not.

Not gonna lie, I wanted to fucking throttle him.

I've removed his PlayStation, think I'll go for the phone later too, he will be grounded and no pocket money for at least two weeks.

He's turning 16 in June, I ordered him an IPhone just yesterday that he has wanted for a long time and cancelled it this morning, fuck that, now he can piss off. He didn't know about the phone as it was a surprise.

Little shit.

OP posts:
Hellocatshome · 22/05/2021 14:21

He's not doing gcse's, he's in year 8

If you are in the UK he is not 15 nearly 16 if he is in year 8.

Daydrambeliever · 22/05/2021 14:21

Replicatenot relocate

SnarkyBag · 22/05/2021 14:22

I’d have been pissed off at him going out and ignoring you but would have saved some chores for him to do when he got home with an Xbox ban for the rest of the day. You’ve just escalated and escalated it and gone too far. Texting him telling him he was grounded without pocket money was over the top and now you’ve taken it so far he’s got nothing left to lose so is probably just gonna think “fuck you”.

Original poster
Sillawithans · 22/05/2021 14:23

We otherwise have a great relationship.

I did not dictate to the children, I asked them if they could help on Sat morning, they all said yes.

His dad can get him the phone if he wants but I won't be adding it to my contract.

He didn't know about the phone, it was a surprise. Like I said his dad can still surprise him if he wants.

OP posts:
GreyhoundG1rl · 22/05/2021 14:23

Wow, grounded and his PlayStation and phone confiscated because he wouldn't do his chores when you decreed they be done Hmm
The piss off is not good, but honestly, you've gone from zero to 60 here for no good reason.
He's a teenager, of course he doesn't want to spend the weekend doing housework.

Divineswirls · 22/05/2021 14:23

If he's in year 8 then he's not 15 as that's year 10

Confused
GreyhoundG1rl · 22/05/2021 14:24

@Hellocatshome

He's not doing gcse's, he's in year 8

If you are in the UK he is not 15 nearly 16 if he is in year 8.

🤔🤔🤔
Szyz2020 · 22/05/2021 14:24

How is he 15 and in Year 8? Hmm

Original poster
Sillawithans · 22/05/2021 14:24

He's definitely 16 in June and in year 8. My own son is 14 and in the same year.

OP posts:
Seeline · 22/05/2021 14:24

You said he was virtually 16

He cannot be in Y8

Which is it OP - it makes quite a difference!

SnarkyBag · 22/05/2021 14:25

My 15 nearly 16year old is in yr11. My just turned 13 year old is in year 8 Confused

Thesearmsofmine · 22/05/2021 14:25

Of course he shouldn’t speak to you like that but I’d be wary of alienating him. A 15 year old boy, at that age can easily get themselves into all sorts of trouble. Your approach obviously isn’t working so change it.
Where was he going this morning? Was it a previously made plan?

GreyhoundG1rl · 22/05/2021 14:25

It's one of those threads, isn't it? Hmm. Ffs...

Hellocatshome · 22/05/2021 14:25

I understand some people change minor details to remain anonymous but I think the way you deal with a 12/13 year old and a 15/16 year old is different so we kind of do need to know to offer you the best advice.

Original poster
Sillawithans · 22/05/2021 14:26

He is from a foreign country, didn't start school here until he was 7 I think.

OP posts:
KurtWilde · 22/05/2021 14:26

Massive overreaction. Also you cancelled his birthday present? How does his dad feel about that??

GreyhoundG1rl · 22/05/2021 14:26

@Sillawithans

He is from a foreign country, didn't start school here until he was 7 I think.
Don't talk rot 😂
Hellocatshome · 22/05/2021 14:26

He's definitely 16 in June and in year 8. My own son is 14 and in the same year.

That is just not possible Hmm

Seeline · 22/05/2021 14:27

So what's the back story? A 14 and 16 yo will not be in the same school year.

3scape · 22/05/2021 14:27

I would leave specific jobs for him to complete before the end of Sunday. But the piss off would see his phone removed for 2 days. If the tasks were left incomplete then a further punishment would apply, he should be able to manage an hour or so housework in a weekend around his social time at that age.

He needs to know he can't go around speaking to people like that.

traumatisednoodle · 22/05/2021 14:28

This escalation of punishment shows him that you're out of control. It's not doing you any favours. He is almost an adult and this kind of punishment to him will reek of controlling behaviour and he will pull away from this, which is a natural response for a teenager. Imagine if you and your partner had a fight and he started removing your belongings from you? How would you feel? How can you imagine another human being would feel any different

Can I frame this please ? So much wisdom on here today

Original poster
Sillawithans · 22/05/2021 14:28

He's 15 now, turns 16 June 23rd. He was born in 2005.
He is from a foreign country, started school here when he was around 7. My own children are 13, she's in year 6 in primary, I've a 13 year old daughter in first year, year 7 and my 14 year old son is in year 8.

OP posts:
user1471447924 · 22/05/2021 14:29

lol! Rubbish.

Original poster
Sillawithans · 22/05/2021 14:29

Sorry, my youngest girl is 12, 13 in Sept.

OP posts:
thecatfromjapan · 22/05/2021 14:29

He's 16 in year 8?

Well, if this is for real - there's the issue.

But ... that's why the U.K. doesn't put 16 year olds in year 8 ... 😕

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