DD’s friends changing gender at school

[AFS1]

My daughter is in yr 7. In the last month or so an increasing number of her female friends have changed their names to boys’ names and decided they want to be addressed as “he/him”. We’re up to at least 4, including her best friend who she’s known since they were in reception (and has never once demonstrated even the slightest hint of gender dysphoria). My daughter is desperately trying to respect the various requests but is becoming increasingly confused and upset by it all. She feels like she doesn’t really know her friends anymore and that she doesn’t fit in with them.

It very much feels like a phase to me, but it’s really beginning to have an impact on my daughter. It also feels like it’s getting out of hand. WIBU to speak to the school about it all? I don’t really know what they could do, but it just seems that maybe some work needs to be done around this issue.

Has anyone else experienced anything like this? I’d be really grateful for any advice about what to do and say. Thanks.

Please stop listening to the gender cult and idiots like Jameela Jamie.

I don’t know who this is. As I said I’m not up to date on these issues.

Obviously it is not just transgender people who need to use ‘puberty blockers’ but I agree that they shouldn’t be used on people under a certain age if it’s to do with gender issues.

@toocold54

It's really disturbing that we are doing this to children.

You can’t be prescribed puberty blockers under the age of 16 for gender issues.
And there is no risk as long as they’re only taken for a couple of years which is why young children are prescribed them or women going through fertility treatment without anyone making a big fuss about the ‘side effects’.

You can’t now in the UK as a new patient - directly as a result of the Keira Bell court ruling, and it is being appealed- but they are patients on them, and all around the world there are children on puberty blockers. I know personally of two 11 year olds, one of each sex.

Every child who starts puberty blockers goes on to cross sex hormones. No one ever stops them “after a few years” when prescribed for gender issues.

You really don’t know what’s been going on, do you?

www.transgendertrend.com/nhs-no-longer-puberty-blockers-reversible/

“Little is known about the long-term side effects of hormone or puberty blockers in children with gender dysphoria.

Although the Gender Identity Development Service (GIDS) advises this is a physically reversible treatment if stopped,it is not known what the psychological effects may be.

It’s also not known whether hormone blockers affect the development of the teenage brain or children’s bones. Side effects may also include hot flushes, fatigue and mood alterations.”

^ from NHS website.

Complex systems. Lots of unknowns. Brain development continues into early 20s under the influence of hormones so I suspect even post-16 these things aren't a good idea.

You can’t now in the UK as a new patient - directly as a result of the Keira Bell court ruling, and it is being appealed- but they are patients on them, and all around the world there are children on puberty blockers. I know personally of two 11 year olds, one of each sex.

But I would agree that no child should be put on hormone blockers (for gender issues) whether it’s legal or not. So what’s your point?

@toocold54

You can’t now in the UK as a new patient - directly as a result of the Keira Bell court ruling, and it is being appealed- but they are patients on them, and all around the world there are children on puberty blockers. I know personally of two 11 year olds, one of each sex.

But I would agree that no child should be put on hormone blockers (for gender issues) whether it’s legal or not. So what’s your point?

My point is, you seem to think it can’t be done, rather than shouldn’t, and all around the world there children as young as 10 on puberty blockers.

And you also said there is no risk. This is also false. All children who take them go on to cross sex hormones and have reduced bone density, no fertility and no sexual function. And no psychological benefit.

Poor kids, how confused they all must be. The world has gone crazy.

Read Irreversible damage by Abigail Shrier, basically examining the transgender trend amongst teenage girls. Very interesting

And you also said there is no risk. This is also false. All children who take them go on to cross sex hormones and have reduced bone density, no fertility and no sexual function. And no psychological benefit.

But the same argument could be said about going on the pill or implant which stops the body producing certain hormones and has side effects like reducing bone density but we know people under 16 take them. I don’t see threads about this on MN but mention gender and loads of people jump on how wrong it is.

If OP had said her DDs friends were talking about seeing a doctor or self harming to make themselves look like boys I’d be 100% saying how wrong it is. But this is about a couple of 11 year olds going through a phase (of which they’ll be many) and just going along with it until it passes. If it doesn’t pass then that would be a different discussion.

The side effects of the pill are well known, have been studied for decades, and informed consent can be given balanced with the risk of pregnancy. There is none of that for puberty blockers: no research, no informed consent.

And it may be a couple of 11 year old girls going through a phase. But with the wrong parents, the wrong referral pathway, the wrong information, a complicit school and within a short time of attending, these children could easily end up on puberty blockers. You should at least be arguing from a place of knowledge.

These are 11 year olds that want theirs friends to call them by a different name. They’re not changing in any way, they probably haven’t even told their parents. The vast majority of these will just go back to their own gender and then they’ll go on to the next thing.

Fingers crossed. Hopefully they will not be railroaded into medical transitioning or get sexually groomed by "open-minded" adults.

And it may be a couple of 11 year old girls going through a phase. But with the wrong parents, the wrong referral pathway, the wrong information, a complicit school and within a short time of attending, these children could easily end up on puberty blockers. You should at least be arguing from a place of knowledge.

But you could literally say this about anything though. What if? You can’t speculate on something that isn’t happening.

A child could take an interest in terrorism and with the wrong type of parents they could buy them weapons or encourage it. We always see teens taking drugs, having underage sex etc with their parents permission. There will always be good and bad parents or parents who think they’re doing the right thing.

It’s a massive leap to go from a phase a lot of them go through at 11 to getting a full on sex change a few weeks later.

No one has said they’re going to get a sex change . But there has been a 4000% increase in girls referred to gender clinics. It’s girls like this, who should just be allowed to go through a phase. So it needs to be protected as a phase, and full awareness of the dangers of being so glib about it need to be kept in mind.

A child could take an interest in terrorism and with the wrong type of parents they could buy them weapons or encourage it.
If a child took interest in terrorism, nobody would even entertain this being just a phase.

Then I can’t see the harm in OPs DD going along with it as they’re not changing in any way apart from their names. Just like when she comes out as gay or bi or whatever she’ll want them to accept her. If it’s a phase it’ll run it’s course and if not it can be dealt with then.

@CatsArePeople what about the boy charged with an attempted terrorist attack in London who blamed his autism where his mum brought him swords and knives and said she thought it was just a phase?

I have seen parents on other boards on here who have found it very difficult to find any health professionals who are willing to take a 'wait and see' approach and not an affirmation approach. These parents are happy to support their child, use preferred pronouns etc but don't want their child to start down the medicalised route (which seems to be touted as the answer to everything on some social media) at such a young age. They are worried about the health risks caused by puberty blockers and the push towards irreversible surgery such as mastectomies.

There are some young people who are trans and will ultimately transition into that gender as a life long decision. However, a large number will not. You would think a 'wait and see' approach is the best to take but there seems to be a big push by some organisations towards medical affirmation, which has been evidenced by the GIDS whistle-blowers.

Kids eh? I remember when DS went through his wmd phase... it’s amazing what you can buy in the internet...

[quote toocold54]@CatsArePeople what about the boy charged with an attempted terrorist attack in London who blamed his autism where his mum brought him swords and knives and said she thought it was just a phase?[/quote]
Do you remember when that teenager with autism correctly sexed a police community support officer and was fined as a result? Good times...

It's very different from being gay or bi

@toocold54

If the numbers were always like this, and it’s not a fad and not social contagion, why isn’t there a 4000% increase in middle aged women flocking to gender clinics now? Or even just socially transitioning?

It is a lot harder for a middle aged women to transition. There is still a lot of stigma attached which is why there’s more f-m than m-f because of the stigma attached.

Many of us wanted to be a different gender when we were younger which was probably more to do with our hobbies, hairstyle choices etc which we were taught was only for boys.

I think the best thing would be to have less sports, hobbies, clothing, colours etc that are classed as male or female.

But even if the kids are going through phases what’s the harm? Chances are they’ll go through a punk or gothic phase too but it’s just part of becoming who they are.

Hardly any ftm transitions in over 30s. Mtf transitions are much less rare. Why is there less stigma for them?

Saddens me to hear this. So sad that this is all the fad/rage/fashion. Ds2 is in yr7, but fortunately none of this is going on.

Ds1 is older, many of his friends are bi, which no one even cares about, 1 trans child which no one even notices, to me this is all healthy and fine.

But op's situation is the other end of the spectrum.

And meanwhile in the real world... In El Salvador they are digging up an ex policeman’s back yard where they think there are 40 bodies ‘The majority of the victims are believed to be women and girls, with the youngest just two years old’.

When I was a teenager these are the types of things that got me angry and kept me awake at night.

@Babyroobs

Yes same at my daughters school and next door neighbours dd has changed names so many times depending what gender she identifies with at any particular time. She is currently called the name of a foodstuff and that is what the teachers have to call her.

Was the name the name of a vegetable? My DD knew one of those at school!

Glad my kids have grown up, when they were that age being a vegetarian was fairly radical. Worlds gone mad

My goodness, a lot of posters here actually think if an 11 year old girl says she is a boy, then she actually is.

Yeah, I'd be concerned OP. Keep lines of information open with dd, chat with parents and school. The teen years are hard enough anyway- this ideology is screwing young women over and the adults who are facilitating it are not very bright.