Page 2 | DD’s friends changing gender at school

PinkSatinMoon · 21/05/2021 21:59

@GirlCrush

yes,'m joking!

op is being ridiculous....speak to 'the school' about it?? wtf? its NONE of your business

OP is concerned about her DD, and has asked for advice, not sarcasm or aggression. 🌸

TopBlogger · 21/05/2021 21:59

Has she never had male friends? She does now

I'm not sure if you are being sarcastic? But if not then -

No. She doesn't. It takes more than a decision at age 11/12 to become a male. Unless they've manage to grow a penis and get rid of their ovaries/vagina overnight.

babbaloushka · 21/05/2021 22:00

Had the same situation with my DDs at school, it was spreading like wildfire. I think them just keeping their heads down and trying to use to right pronouns/name should do fine. There was a pupil ay DD's school who used to wear different colour bracelets to signify what gender she was that day! Some of them enjoy the attention.

InsideNumberNine · 21/05/2021 22:00

@GirlCrush

i work with young people. 2 have re assigned their gender. i'm supporting one through a physical transition

thank god people can now feel free to be who they feel they should be....just shows how many out there feel this way

If that were truly the case, there would be an equal increase across males and females, rather than the 4,000+ increase in FtM identities we're seeing. That is a statistical anomaly.

Lifeinthelastlane · 21/05/2021 22:01

@goshthatsawful

Why does she feel like she doesn’t know them/ fit in anymore? Has she never had male friends? She does now!

Do you genuinely mean that? Someone who until very recently was a female child is now literally a boy?

InsideNumberNine · 21/05/2021 22:02

Sorry, that should be 4,000%. And that's just the ones being processed through GIDS. The actual number is likely to be way higher.

twelly · 21/05/2021 22:04

I don't think school's should allow pupils to change names or present in any way different to their assigned gender at birth. This is become something of a craze and schools need to ignore it. Social media is influencing these pupils - we are born into a world with many different characters and our sex is one of these, children need to learn to love and live with what they have fir a happy life

Talkwhilstyouwalk · 21/05/2021 22:06

It's a bit like when one child in the class is poorly, half the class decide they are feeling poorly too....

They are not all transgender. It's almost certainly a phase but no doubt very confusing....they teach them young these days!

InsideNumberNine · 21/05/2021 22:07

@twelly

I don't think school's should allow pupils to change names or present in any way different to their assigned gender at birth. This is become something of a craze and schools need to ignore it. Social media is influencing these pupils - we are born into a world with many different characters and our sex is one of these, children need to learn to love and live with what they have fir a happy life

So no short hair on girls? No trousers? Maybe force them to wear heels and make up?! Great way to reinforce the gender stereotypes they're trying to escape!!

ChewtonRoad · 21/05/2021 22:10

I don't think school's should allow pupils to change names or present in any way different to their assigned gender sex observed at birth.
Fixed that for you.

I think them just keeping their heads down and trying to use to right pronouns/name should do fine
I hope by "right pronouns" you mean those associated with the child's natal sex, whether female or male. Anything else is compelled speech, and asking 11 year olds to do that is dodgy indeed.

There was a pupil ay DD's school who used to wear different colour bracelets to signify what gender she was that day!
I'd like to know what the child claimed was involved in those genders she claimed to have.

nolongersurprised · 21/05/2021 22:11

I don’t agree that the 4000% increase in girls presenting to gender clinics simply represents the girls who always felt like this, but couldn’t express it “because of (erstwhile) transphobia”.

If the numbers were always like this, and it’s not a fad and not social contagion, why isn’t there a 4000% increase in middle aged women flocking to gender clinics now? Or even just socially transitioning?

Redwinestillfine · 21/05/2021 22:13

School would probably be the last place I would go. It must be really confusing for her. Just make sure she understands the difference between sex and gender and maybe try and encourage out of school interests to give her an outlet and allow her to take a step back. It doesn't matter what her friends do, this is about supporting your dd who has expressed that it's all a bit much for her which is completely valid.

Talkwhilstyouwalk · 21/05/2021 22:13

@nolongersurprised

I don’t agree that the 4000% increase in girls presenting to gender clinics simply represents the girls who always felt like this, but couldn’t express it “because of (erstwhile) transphobia”.

If the numbers were always like this, and it’s not a fad and not social contagion, why isn’t there a 4000% increase in middle aged women flocking to gender clinics now? Or even just socially transitioning?

Exactly!

HasaDigaEebowai · 21/05/2021 22:17

This is a good article

[https://4thwavenow.com/2017/12/07/gender-dysphoria-is-not-one-thing/]

foreveryoungjustkidding · 21/05/2021 22:27

The world has gone fucking nuts

Pianomano · 21/05/2021 22:28

We've had similar, an assembly at school on LGBTQ+ and a week later 6 people in DD's year 7 class have announced they are lesbian or bisexual. It's hard for them to handle at this age and I can't help but think there's some jumping on the bandwagon.

Nonmaquillee · 21/05/2021 22:31

@AFS1

My daughter is in yr 7. In the last month or so an increasing number of her female friends have changed their names to boys’ names and decided they want to be addressed as “he/him”. We’re up to at least 4, including her best friend who she’s known since they were in reception (and has never once demonstrated even the slightest hint of gender dysphoria). My daughter is desperately trying to respect the various requests but is becoming increasingly confused and upset by it all. She feels like she doesn’t really know her friends anymore and that she doesn’t fit in with them.

It very much feels like a phase to me, but it’s really beginning to have an impact on my daughter. It also feels like it’s getting out of hand. WIBU to speak to the school about it all? I don’t really know what they could do, but it just seems that maybe some work needs to be done around this issue.

Has anyone else experienced anything like this? I’d be really grateful for any advice about what to do and say. Thanks.

Irreversible Damage by Abigail Shrier is well written and highly illuminating on this subject.

haveaday · 21/05/2021 22:34

My DD(9) is v good friends with trans boy in her class. She is aware of the transition and doesn't really care, liked her before, likes him now. But she recently said to me, am I gay or bi or straight? I really want to know. Why are 9 yr olds worrying about this. I cried. A lot.

Nonmaquillee · 21/05/2021 22:34

@goshthatsawful

Why does she feel like she doesn’t know them/ fit in anymore? Has she never had male friends? She does now!

Wow

But they’re not male, they’re female. Changing your name doesn’t make you the opposite sex.

Nonmaquillee · 21/05/2021 22:35

@haveaday

My DD(9) is v good friends with trans boy in her class. She is aware of the transition and doesn't really care, liked her before, likes him now. But she recently said to me, am I gay or bi or straight? I really want to know. Why are 9 yr olds worrying about this. I cried. A lot.

It’s absolutely bonkers, I agree. I would feel absolutely the same if my nine year old said this too.

Starlightstarbright1 · 21/05/2021 22:38

There are 5 girls in my ds's class claiming to be transgender. They kept changing their names.and my ds was getting very stressed.I told my ds just to use the name on the registar.

They aren't his friends though

Saracen · 21/05/2021 22:40

Can you explain more about why your daughter is finding this so upsetting and confusing?

Her friends are still her friends. Does your daughter face any challenges aside from remembering new names and pronouns? She'll get the hang of that. Presumably if her friends see that she is behaving respectfully and doing her best, they will forgive the odd slip-up. I think she is (or you are) overthinking this.

It isn't up to her to figure out whether her friends are going through a phase or not, and whether they are doing the right thing or not. She just needs to respect what they're asking her to do, which doesn't sound all that difficult to me.

Original poster

AFS1 · 21/05/2021 22:40

[quote HasaDigaEebowai]This is a good article

[https://4thwavenow.com/2017/12/07/gender-dysphoria-is-not-one-thing/][/quote]
That’s a really interesting article. These children fit so squarely into the description of rapid onset gender dysphoria.

OP posts:

CutieBear · 21/05/2021 22:41

Someone needs to tell girls that it’s okay to like non-traditionally girly things. It doesn’t mean they’re a boy. Same goes for boys. They’re confirming to gender stereotypes by saying “I don’t like girly things so I must be a boy and dress like a boy.”

Nonmaquillee · 21/05/2021 22:43

@Saracen

Can you explain more about why your daughter is finding this so upsetting and confusing?

Her friends are still her friends. Does your daughter face any challenges aside from remembering new names and pronouns? She'll get the hang of that. Presumably if her friends see that she is behaving respectfully and doing her best, they will forgive the odd slip-up. I think she is (or you are) overthinking this.

It isn't up to her to figure out whether her friends are going through a phase or not, and whether they are doing the right thing or not. She just needs to respect what they're asking her to do, which doesn't sound all that difficult to me.

Have you ever had an 11 or 12 year old child? Of course it’s confusing for her...the whole thing is mind blowing.