To think once you have dc your whole life becomes a series of things you don’t want to do?

[Milkminder]

Mine is. It’s constant.
Today I got up early to take dc1 to school. Then came back and listened to dc2 read (painful) and then took dc2 to school. Went to work. Went and fetched the dc. Took them to the park for an hour (massively boring). Got back. Cooked something they’d both eat and something else for DH that he’d eat, didn’t even bother making anything for myself because frankly it was too much effort. Did craft with dc2. Helped dc1 with homework. Played cricket with dc1. Bathed dc2 and listened to them scream about how they hated having a bath. Now I’m about to do bedtime stories for dc2 before going and playing a board game with dc1.

The weekend will consist of activities they want to do and I find deathly boring.

Does everyone find it deathly boring? I wonder if I shouldn’t have had dc as I’m too selfish. I just find it SUCH HARD WORK and feel as though I only ever get to do what they want to do.
The weekend will be football sessions, swimming and then a trip to a farm - I don’t want to do any of those things.

What this is called is keeping you on a leash.

I feel he’s lazy more than anything else - when it comes to the children anyway. He’s not lazy at work and he’s gone straight to the gym tonight.

He's not lazy.

He's telling you that you are only good enough to do the work that he thinks is beneath him, all day every day, 365 days a year, and all night too.

He controls and demands as if you were his skivvy, and he has been telling you for years by his behaviour and words that your time and energy and joy in life matter nothing to him. You are nothing to him but a living, breathing opportunity to indulge the nasty side of his nature.

If he valued you, your relationship, your home, or your children, he would put in the time and effort. He doesn't value any of that. He only values his own fitness and the admiration of his colleagues.

If he took a can of spray paint and wrote it in big letters on the gable end of your house he couldn't broadcast it clearer.

Your husband is a shit, literally a giant turd.

If you get a divorce he won’t want 50:50 and don’t worry because even if he does 1 day EOW it’ll be his mum looking after the kids. What it would mean though is you will have 1 less really really fucking annoying person to deal with. You are doing everything anyway. You don’t even like him and he certainly doesn’t like you very much.

Seriously your day will be better from not having to see him. This is a half life, you deserve much much better.

Time to get fucking mad with your husband op. No wonder you’re pissed off with life.
He’s managing you - ugh how dare he put more restrictions on you! He should be easing your burden, they’re his kids too.
If you want to stay with him, tell him it stops now. Fucking order him around.
Sorry, get so mad with these useless, bossy, dick swinging men

This thread is really sad. Please leave op. You don't deserve this

My mum's husband used to do this. Set times to go shopping etc and he'd call her constantly. It wasn't worry, it was control. She didn't think she could leave, he talked her into leaving her job and the situation was extremely traumatizing for everyone.

If you won't do it for yourself, please leave for your kids.

He's not lazy.

He's cruel and controlling.

He won't let you go for a walk.

Please talk to someone in real life

YANBU.

hes not lazy op if he was it would transfer to his work aswell

he want a slave to be frank and its you

He sounds terrifying, the amount of control he has over you and how you behave is chilling.

I hope you can find a way to leave, but until then I wish you strength.

Anyone else wondering if Milkminder's husband found this thread and has taken away her MN access?

Hope you're OK Milkminder.

No clue as to what I've said that's breached guidelines. Horrified to be honest but perhaps I worded it badly.

Hope the OP is ok and has friends, colleagues or can find support in real life that can help. If not, will give a rough guide of location and hopefully local resources can be found.

Very concerned that the OP faced with hundreds of posts is very much NOT ok.

I think it's one thing to reach the end of your rope enough to post on MN, another to be slapped around the face with an all encompassing view that the issue is not what you thought, and that you are not only perceived to be a victim of abuse, you quite probably are with no clear way forward. That's a lot to deal with.