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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Aibu, compulsory school trip costing £100

204 replies

kitkat463 · 18/05/2021 20:37

Aibu, my son's school ( secondary) are having an activity week at a local activity centre during the normal school week. They've said they are hoping for 100 percent uptake and don't have the option for kids to just go to school as normal. It will cost £100 per child, but they have said if anyone can't afford it they should ask for help. I can afford it, but my son doesnt want to go, it isn't his cup of tea. Aibu to be annoyed and resent paying £100 for something neither my son or I want him to do. I dont want him just to stay home for a week so I'll probably send him But Aibu to be annoyed? ! No, you are not unreasonable this is not acceptable for schools to do this, yes... Yabu it's a fun activity week and the school just want to give the teens a fun week after a rubbish year.

OP posts:
suspiria777 · 18/05/2021 20:40

Depends what the trip is and the specific flavour of your objections.

SadieCow · 18/05/2021 20:45

How old is your son?

skirk64 · 18/05/2021 20:46

School is all about being forced to do things you don't want to.

StealthPolarBear · 18/05/2021 20:47

£100 to send your son off to do something he doesn't want to do when he should be at school? Yanbu

Stompythedinosaur · 18/05/2021 20:48

It sounds fairly educational. I guess you don't have to pay, but I think that would be a bit mean spirited if you can afford it.

Aroundtheworldin80moves · 18/05/2021 20:52

YANBU
Residential trips are great for various reasons, including making people step outside their comfort zone. But they need to want to it.

Plus, £100 is a lot of money. Even people well off theoretically could struggle with it.

DenisetheMenace · 18/05/2021 20:52

You say it’s not his cup of tea. Have you been given a programme? There are usually numerous activities available at such centres, surely he won’t dislike everything?

Maybe ask and see if he can go on the days when there are activities that he will enjoy.

DenisetheMenace · 18/05/2021 20:53

roundtheworldin80moves

YANBU
Residential trips are great for various reasons, including making people step outside their comfort zone. But they need to want to it.

Plus, £100 is a lot of money. Even people well off theoretically could struggle with it.“

Didn’t get the impression it was residential ?(that would be cheap if it were) .

newnortherner111 · 18/05/2021 20:56

What would they do if say half the parents said they could not afford to pay? People who may have been well off even a few months ago might not be, or have chosen to spend money on their summer holiday (and judging by UK prices, probably costing more).

They have legal obligations which you might wish to remind them of, and perhaps suggest such that such an attempt to persuade parents to pay is counter-productive.

You could argue that with all that children have had to endure with disruption to their education, forcing them to go on the trip could harm the mental health of some of the children.

Jellybabiesforbreakfast · 18/05/2021 21:01

Surely they can't just cut a week's school for those children whose parents don't pay for them to attend? I thought schools could ask for "contributions" for compulsory trips but that was it.

Mistressiggi · 18/05/2021 21:03

"It's isn't his cup of tea" Good lord Hmm

CrumpetHunter · 18/05/2021 21:03

I'm torn.
YANBU to feel annoyed that you're being pretty much compelled to spend £100 (but, in their defence, they've said to speak to them if you're unable to pay AND they've also said that they "hope" for 100% uptake - not that it's compulsory).
YABU to be so precious about your son not wanting to participate in very normal activities and think he shouldn't have to do things he doesn't want to do. I know you've said you'll probably end up sending him but only because you feel like you have no choice rather than because it'd clearly be good for him to get out of his comfort zone and try new things.

mummysharkk · 18/05/2021 21:07

Hmmm.

Is it he does not want to do it but you know/ think he may get something out of it as his friends will be there and it's better he's out and involved?

Or

Is it he's more into technology than sport and he will literally be uncomfortable/ possibly left out if his friends are really keen to do the activities?

If it's number 2 I wouldn't put mine through it and keep them at home and spend the money on a couple of days out/ new books that he would like.

Hallyup6 · 18/05/2021 21:22

It's clearly not compulsory and there will obviously be an option to go to school as normal because they are legally obliged to educate children for a set number of hours per year. Half the parents won't be able to afford it so although they're hoping for 100% uptake, they won't get it. If your child doesn't want to do it then tell them no. He'll be offered an alternative. If he does, and you can afford it, then great.

Dandelionflower · 18/05/2021 21:31

My dd's school is having two separate activity days this year instead of the usual week away. It's £110. Leaving at 9.15 and back by 3.15 each day. Dd isn't going

Oly4 · 18/05/2021 21:34

£100 for something educational, that could provide a brilliant experience and improve confidence etc sounds reasonable to me.
Depends whether you can afford it and want to pay. Lots of kids don’t think these things are their cup of tea but enjoy them? Broadening horizons and all that?

Smartiepants79 · 18/05/2021 21:35

A week at an activity centre? For just £100? Sounds like an absolute bargain to me?
Is it a residential or just day activities!
Either way 5 days of activities for that price sounds cheap to me.
It’s obviously still a lot of money but it’s not bad value.
I don’t know what to suggest if you really think he’s not going to like ANY of it.
For most kids it’s a great opportunity to do something fun with their friends after a crappy year.
These kind of threads frustrate me no end, no, school are not being ‘unreasonable’. They are trying to do something nice. These weeks are not a walk in the park for the staff- you should see the endless risk assessment paperwork involved.
If you don’t want to send him, then don’t. In the current climate I think this is fabulous thing for school to try and organise.

Seashor · 18/05/2021 21:39

Thank you op. I have been seriously thinking about organising an overnight trip for our cohort. This will entail hours of work and unpaid work for every staff member who attends, but I thought it would be of great benefit to the children. After reading your post and some of the replies I won’t bother now.

CthulhuChristmas · 18/05/2021 21:41

YANBU, and if he doesn't want to go he shouldn't have to. Especially if it really is supposed to be just a 'fun' week, not educational in some way. Not everyone has the same idea of fun.

There were a couple of 'compulsory' school trips that I declined as a teenager. I'm glad my parents didn't try to force me to go, and my education didn't suffer for it. Doing things outside of your comfort zone is great if you've chosen them and are up for the challenge, but not if it's someone else's idea and they're making you do it.

Whitchurch · 18/05/2021 21:42

It isn't compulsory and they have to provide education so it's not just a matter of keeping him home. Honestly though, he should go.

Smartiepants79 · 18/05/2021 21:45

I’m with you @Seashor
We’re in the middle of attempting to organise an overnight trip for our yr6’s. Something that would involve me working for 48 hours straight with no extra pay. Never mind all the paperwork etc...I do it happily as the kids gain so much from it.
This kind of mean spirited thread from parents pisses me off no end.

waitingforthenextseason · 18/05/2021 21:46

£100 for a week of activities at a centre? Bargain! Lucky kids ... I hope enough take it up so it goes ahead for them.

Be grateful they're trying to do something nice that a lot of kids otherwise wouldn't get the chance to try.

arethereanyleftatall · 18/05/2021 21:47

What are the activities?

Moonlaserbearwolf · 18/05/2021 21:57

I could understand any concerns based around cost, but fortunately you are ok to pay.
YABU to assume that it’s not your son’s cup of tea. These activity weeks are a great opportunity to try something out of your comfort zone and broaden horizons. He might even find something fun that he wasn’t expecting to enjoy.

Maggiesfarm · 18/05/2021 22:06

@Mistressiggi

"It's isn't his cup of tea" Good lord Hmm
Didn't you have likes and dislikes as a child? I did, so did mine. It's normal.
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