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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Aibu, compulsory school trip costing £100

204 replies

kitkat463 · 18/05/2021 20:37

Aibu, my son's school ( secondary) are having an activity week at a local activity centre during the normal school week. They've said they are hoping for 100 percent uptake and don't have the option for kids to just go to school as normal. It will cost £100 per child, but they have said if anyone can't afford it they should ask for help. I can afford it, but my son doesnt want to go, it isn't his cup of tea. Aibu to be annoyed and resent paying £100 for something neither my son or I want him to do. I dont want him just to stay home for a week so I'll probably send him But Aibu to be annoyed? ! No, you are not unreasonable this is not acceptable for schools to do this, yes... Yabu it's a fun activity week and the school just want to give the teens a fun week after a rubbish year.

OP posts:
Bourbonic · 19/05/2021 10:46

I don't really understand why people are so arsey over the very concept of a child not liking something.

I hated sports when I was younger. I remember having to go to a football camp for a week which was just complete torture for me, and then an outdoorsy activity residential for a week, during which I mostly just sat and read, having refused to go kayaking or scaling ropes across rivers, so it was a complete waste of money.

There are many ways for children to be encouraged out of their comfort zone and develop resilience, without forcing them to do something they hate when they should be receiving education.

malificent7 · 19/05/2021 11:03

There are two issues here. He dosn't want to go...but it's compulsory ...tough.

£100! Yanbu...especially for those who can't afford it.

malificent7 · 19/05/2021 11:04

Whsi I meant was something costing that amount should not be compulsory.

excuseforfights · 19/05/2021 11:11

YABU, there is another thread where people have talked about the fact that they only got to go on these trips/breaks/days out/holidays through school.

Don't jeopordise the trip for the others, send your son, he will probably love it and he may be taking his ambivalent views from you.

Please don't drip feed that he is being bullied or something.

excuseforfights · 19/05/2021 11:12

£100 for a week is very good value, especially as there is help for those who can't afford it.

lucyslocketinherpocket · 19/05/2021 11:31

How on earth are these teenagers ever going to cope in the world of work, where you frequently have to do things you'd rather not, usually without complaint?!

Honestly I despair. 'It's not his cup of tea'. Tough luck, get on with it! Think of it as a good life lesson for him.

The expectation to pay for it is a different issue, especially if you can't afford it. But you can, so I would just pay up and send him.

Bluntness100 · 19/05/2021 11:34

There are many ways for children to be encouraged out of their comfort zone and develop resilience, without forcing them to do something they hate when they should be receiving education

Education takes many forms, it’s not just classroom learning. And these trips are educational in many ways. From teaching independence and emotional resilience to team work towhatever activity is being done.

ineedaholidaynow · 19/05/2021 11:34

Would people pay and go on holiday when there was absolutely nothing they would enjoy or in fact they would hate?

ineedaholidaynow · 19/05/2021 11:36

But @Bluntness100 if this was a week long residential maths activity would everyone be saying you should send your DC even if they really struggled with maths.

LakeShoreD · 19/05/2021 11:37

My school had one of these. I’m really grateful my parents didn’t force me to go. I’m a perfectly confident and resilient adult but still absolutely hate organised ‘fun’ and outdoorsy stuff. The money, however, I think is a moot point because schools usually have funds to cover costs for those that can’t afford it.

StayAGhost · 19/05/2021 11:44

£100 is a cubic shit ton of money for us
We wouldn't be entitled to any help, so would really struggle to pay

(Checks finances)

Yup, still not paid for lockdown laptops

FFS What is it with schools £££

excuseforfights · 19/05/2021 11:51

@StayAGhost

£100 is a cubic shit ton of money for us We wouldn't be entitled to any help, so would really struggle to pay

(Checks finances)

Yup, still not paid for lockdown laptops

FFS What is it with schools £££

Why wouldn't you be entitled?

My parents couldn't afford for me to go to Paris, when I told my teacher, they offered me a subsidised rate, no questions asked about my entitlement.

bonbonours · 19/05/2021 11:52

Our year 8 trip is basically compulsory and costs £300 but they do offer help if families can't afford it. Also you can pay over a long period in small instalments if you wish. Anyone who doesn't go has to go to year 7 lessons for the week so not much fun when all your friends are off together having new experiences.

The reason it's basically compulsory is it's a great opportunity students to gain confidence, bond with each other, challenge themselves, get outside their comfort zone etc. In my opinion there are a very tiny minority of students who would not benefit from these trips, even (possibly especially) those who are initially reluctant to go.

CthulhuChristmas · 19/05/2021 11:56

Work is a really bad comparison.

You probably won't like everything you have to do at work - but as compensation, you get paid for doing it! You also choose which jobs to apply for, so if there's something you really hate or are uncomfortable with, you can pick jobs that don't involve it. It's not as if you become an accountant and then it's sprung on you that you have to go away and play rugby or rock climb with your colleagues for a week.

It's more like those 'teambuilding' trips - the general consensus is usually that some people love them, but they shouldn't be compulsory, because lots of people hate them too. (And no, if forced to go anyway, they don't generally love it when made to do it.)

Maggiesfarm · 19/05/2021 12:15

@StayAGhost

£100 is a cubic shit ton of money for us We wouldn't be entitled to any help, so would really struggle to pay

(Checks finances)

Yup, still not paid for lockdown laptops

FFS What is it with schools £££

I remember those days well and sympathise. Things do get better.
StayAGhost · 19/05/2021 12:15

ExuseForFlights
Whenever I approach school, the answer is the same
Always helpful, until they realise I'm not on benefits then the answer is no

Not being able to afford something and Not on benefits are often confused 🤔

StayAGhost · 19/05/2021 12:16

Thank you maggiesfarm flowers 💐

Fishandhips · 19/05/2021 12:18

@StayAGhost

ExuseForFlights Whenever I approach school, the answer is the same Always helpful, until they realise I'm not on benefits then the answer is no

Not being able to afford something and Not on benefits are often confused 🤔

Often it's actually worse to be a low earner but earning just enough to not receive benefits- things like this are a prime example, my parents were the same growing up.
AccidentallyOnPurpose · 19/05/2021 12:22

@Bluntness100

There are many ways for children to be encouraged out of their comfort zone and develop resilience, without forcing them to do something they hate when they should be receiving education

Education takes many forms, it’s not just classroom learning. And these trips are educational in many ways. From teaching independence and emotional resilience to team work towhatever activity is being done.

Would you say the same if it was a Maths camp or a creative writing camp?
MintyMabel · 19/05/2021 12:24

And these trips are educational in many ways. From teaching independence and emotional resilience to team work to whatever activity is being done.

Teamworking can be taught in the games hall with hula hoops. They do this stuff all the time in schools.

Independence can be taught by giving them more responsibility in Schools.

Emotional resilience is a bunch of bullshit and schools are seriously bad at taking care of the mental health of kids who are struggling. This is just another example of their woeful inadequacy there.

excuseforfights · 19/05/2021 12:26

@StayAGhost

ExuseForFlights Whenever I approach school, the answer is the same Always helpful, until they realise I'm not on benefits then the answer is no

Not being able to afford something and Not on benefits are often confused 🤔

Ah sorry to hear that!
AccidentallyOnPurpose · 19/05/2021 12:30

So if your work had a week of team building (or whatever bullshit) out of site and your only options were attend or stay at home and lose a week's pay you'd all be delighted and hunky dory about it? Especially if it was something you didn't particularly enjoy?

MintyMabel · 19/05/2021 12:32

How on earth are these teenagers ever going to cope in the world of work, where you frequently have to do things you'd rather not, usually without complaint?!

I don't believe my work has ever insisted I did something to "push me out of my comfort zone and learn emotional resilience". They haven't asked me to do anything other than the job description that I agreed to when I chose to take the job. If they forced me to pay to go on an activity trip I'd leave.

I'm able to do that because I was raised to understand that sometimes, you can put your foot down and not follow blindly what someone is telling you, you must do, and learning when you can do that is a good thing. Teaching them this using the trip as an example is a great idea.

TeenMinusTests · 19/05/2021 12:36

@AccidentallyOnPurpose

So if your work had a week of team building (or whatever bullshit) out of site and your only options were attend or stay at home and lose a week's pay you'd all be delighted and hunky dory about it? Especially if it was something you didn't particularly enjoy?
Of course you'd do it. But that isn't the analogy.

If I told you that you have to do something you'd absolutely hate (eg abseiling, or giving a speech, or observing a post mortem, or whatever) and what's more you have to pay for the privilege how would you feel?

AccidentallyOnPurpose · 19/05/2021 12:39

@TeenMinusTests that's the thing I wouldn't do it even in that scenario and I'd definitely kick off. Like you say it's not even a like for like scenario. You have to do something you don't like AND pay for the privilege.

How people think that's acceptable or even desirable is beyond me.