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To be worried that DP only eats lamb...and smells of it

162 replies

littlepieces · 18/05/2021 13:36

DP eats a combination of lamb, potatoes and baked beans for every. single. meal. Sometimes he has chicken, or a bacon sandwich with GF bread. He has porridge for breakfast with 2 tablespoons of sugar. He had some digestive issues a few years ago and became convinced he has a gluten intolerance - he knows the meat, potato, beans combo is safe. But he won't go to the doctors to get properly checked out.

However, I'm really worried about his health. He constantly smells like lamb fat, it emnates from his pores. He's become quite pasty looking and very skinny. AIBU for desperately wanting to do something about it/what can I do to help? I'm a very adventurous eater, love veg, and I always offer him bits of whatever I cook (GF) but he refuses. I'm guessing he has something like ARFID. I think he's always been a fussy eater and eats purely because he has to. I understand his mum used to cook him chips pretty much every day for dinner as a child because that's what he wanted.

OP posts:

Am I being unreasonable?


You have one vote. All votes are anonymous.

WorkHardPlayHard1 · 19/05/2021 19:59


I’m not sure I could cope with sleeping next to a leg of lamb every night.

He definitely needs to see someone to deal with his physical/mental health issues around food, but it’s not like you can drag him there. Equally, pretending everything is ok doesn’t help either.

I don’t think this is particularly uncommon. There was a lifestyle article in the Guardian recently about a farmer who ate the same thing every day. It was something weird like fish with an egg and an onion (no explanation re preparation). As something of an aside in the same article, the farmer mentioned having had multiple strokes/heart problems. Also that he was a lifelong bachelor. I do think it’s really hard living with someone with such restrictions. I have a family member who eats no fruit or veg or ‘foreign’ food and understand how tricky it is.

I guess you're not a mashed potato then? That would go perfectly Smile
WorkHardPlayHard1 · 19/05/2021 20:01


I’m not sure I could cope with sleeping next to a leg of lamb every night

Oh god I laughed a lot at this!
Maybe op should sprinkle him with rosemary at bedtime!

Brilliant! Never thought of that?! How about a bit of thyme too! 🤔
DreamTheMoors · 19/05/2021 21:14


You’ll be okay. Do you have a mirror? Like a bathroom mirror that you see every day when you brush your teeth?
Write yourself little notes and stick them to your mirror - and read them every single day:
You get the point - right? Tell yourself that you are a strong, invincible, beautiful person and that this is a mountain you must climb in your life, that you’re halfway up and you aren’t looking down - you’re looking up, ahead, and the goal isn’t that far away. Believe in yourself, believe in your strength and in your heart.
“What is as important as knowledge, asked the mind? Seeing, and caring with the heart, answered the soul.”
Much love. ❤️

OwlBeThere · 19/05/2021 22:32

[quote NeverDropYourMoonCup]**@NeverDropYourMoonCup well yes it’s definitely important to consider other causes. That doesn’t explain why you referred to ASD and ED in that way though does it?

I apologise for not being clearer. I have the joys of both sets of acronyms being attached to my medical file.

I also have Psoriatic Arthritis with a number of common comorbidities. It wasn't being told 'Oh well, you're anxious' or 'You haven't lost enough weight/have you considered taking these antidepressants to deal with those symptoms/she's just a fussy eater, she should have more vegetables' that dealt with the issues that arose as a direct result of having an autoimmune disease.

It was being seen by a specialist in Autoimmune and Rheumatological conditions that got those symptoms treated. Deal with the uncontrolled inflammation in my case, and around 93% of the issues completely disappeared within a few months, I'm currently left with just the permanent damage sustained during the time doctors were busy saying it couldn't possibly be anything physical because the two other diagnoses answered everything - without so much as a blood test that would have (and did in the end) shown a more likely physical cause that could be treated.

ASD isn't an illness, it's how you are. An ED is an illness that needs specialist input, support and treatment for the physical and emotional effects.

To me, an autoimmune/inflammatory disease being ignored by pretty much every poster when it is a very real possibility, because the perception or diagnoses of the moment are that everything must be Autism/ARFID or an ED (so, to use the most irritating phrase ever, is All In The Mind) and the OP actually details a diet consistent with an autoimmune elimination diet or protocol, symptoms consistent with an autoimmune disease, reasoning consistent with an autoimmune disease and common consequences of having an undiagnosed and untreated autoimmune disease, is incredibly frustrating, even when I am reading during a break at work and only have a short time to post before having to go back to work - and the post came over to posters in a way I didn't intend for it to be.

Anyhow, it appears to have been decided by the OP and most posters that he can't possibly have an autoimmune or inflammatory disease, so I hope they're right. As if he does have one and it remains undiagnosed and untreated, that doesn't just mean he continues smelling like a small hill farm in summer, it could result in a life expectancy of around 63 - if he doesn't succumb to cardiomyopathy as a direct result of his untreated disease at 54 like my father did, that is.[/quote]
Thank you for this reply. Sincerely. It makes a lot more sense now. And I fully admit that despite my own autoimmune and coeliac my first thought was ARFID, but you are correct that he needs proper diagnosis. It’s quite possible it’s both: either way, you are not wrong in your post.

TheyCallMeMellowYellow1 · 19/05/2021 23:40

Does he have ASD?

Regularsizedrudy · 20/05/2021 10:55

It amazes me that these men manage to convince women to date them. Envy sorry I know you’re concerned for his health but he is a grown man.

WineAcademy · 20/05/2021 11:15


It amazes me that these men manage to convince women to date them. Envy sorry I know you’re concerned for his health but he is a grown man.

Roxy69 · 20/05/2021 22:50

Save yourself. This is not going to change because he doesn't want to and are you totally sure you want to go through years and years of this? Possibly children getting caught up in it. Thats not fair to them. Really it's going to be easier to change course now and let him deal with his issues and stubbornness alone if he wants to. It seems to me he's not willing to consider you at all and it can only get worse, once people like this realise they can control you by not being considerate; other things start to appear. You must know it's the right - although hurtful for a while, thing to do.

billy1966 · 21/05/2021 07:40


It amazes me that these men manage to convince women to date them. Envy sorry I know you’re concerned for his health but he is a grown man.

I know.

And then other women trying to make them feel bad if they don't feel like taking them on as a fxxking project to fix.

OP, the thought of being with someone who smelled of what they eat,ie lamb, makes me feel🤢.

Marriage can be long enough without embarking out on the journey with a fixer upper🙄.

Move on OP, you will bitterly regret it if you don't.
osbertthesyrianhamster · 21/05/2021 08:59


It amazes me that these men manage to convince women to date them. Envy sorry I know you’re concerned for his health but he is a grown man.

I agree and what billy said.

A lifetime of stinky lamb and baked beans?

Egghead81 · 21/05/2021 09:05


It amazes me that these men manage to convince women to date them. Envy sorry I know you’re concerned for his health but he is a grown man.

It amazes me that so many women, grown assed women, get together with these men
MyOctopusFeature · 22/05/2021 10:43

Is one of the lambs called Catherine?

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