To be worried that DP only eats lamb...and smells of it

[littlepieces]

DP eats a combination of lamb, potatoes and baked beans for every. single. meal. Sometimes he has chicken, or a bacon sandwich with GF bread. He has porridge for breakfast with 2 tablespoons of sugar. He had some digestive issues a few years ago and became convinced he has a gluten intolerance - he knows the meat, potato, beans combo is safe. But he won't go to the doctors to get properly checked out.

However, I'm really worried about his health. He constantly smells like lamb fat, it emnates from his pores. He's become quite pasty looking and very skinny. AIBU for desperately wanting to do something about it/what can I do to help? I'm a very adventurous eater, love veg, and I always offer him bits of whatever I cook (GF) but he refuses. I'm guessing he has something like ARFID. I think he's always been a fussy eater and eats purely because he has to. I understand his mum used to cook him chips pretty much every day for dinner as a child because that's what he wanted.

[DelBocaVista]

[quote Horehound]@DelBocaVista well sorry but it is incredibly frustrating. I imagine you are doing things to help yourself though? Maybe that's why your partner is so understanding? The problems arise when the person is a closed book and dies nothing to try and change. As you can see in the above posts, being with someone like this is actually very restrictive and limiting to what you can do.
And also, we don't know for sure he actually has this, it's just speculation. Maybe he's just bloody minded and only likes these foods....[/quote]
I know it's frustrating. I really wish I could change it.

I make huge efforts to not let it restrict my life or my families life - even if it means not eating or pretending to eat.

[OwlBeThere]

The comments on this post...ARFID is a recognised ED so would you make such cruel comments about an anorexic persons eating habits???
My son has ARFID @littlepieces and it’s a tough one as it becomes about fear that other foods will make you sick. He needs proper help with this, I would make him an appointment and drag him there somehow.

[Aquamarine1029]

You're not his mum, and he's not a project that can be fixed. You've already got the ick so it's time to leave. Move on.

[OwlBeThere]

@PLAYJAJADINGDONG I’ve reported your disgusting ableist comment.

[osbertthesyrianhamster]

I ran out of patience with fussy eaters by the time I was about 20. Sorry, I'd bin. He's an adult, it's not your job to fix him or his eating or health. Women are not rehab centres for men.

[imogensmudge]

He needs proper help with this, I would make him an appointment and drag him there somehow

It won't work unless he recognises he has a problem and wants to change.

[DelBocaVista]

The comments on this post...ARFID is a recognised ED so would you make such cruel comments about an anorexic persons eating habits???

Exactly.
I fucking hate MN at the moment. It's a horrible place.

[osbertthesyrianhamster]

[quote OwlBeThere]@PLAYJAJADINGDONG I’ve reported your disgusting ableist comment.[/quote]
He may not have any disability. He needs to see a doctor but he is an adult, and if he doesn't want to see a doctor, it is not anyone else's responsibility to police it. It's also fine for anyone to walk away from a relationship that doesn't work for them.

My son has ASD and quite possibly ARFID. I would not want to have a partnership with him and don't blame anyone for being put off by it. It's not for everyone. The difference is that he's young and seeing a consultant because as a parent it is my job to get him help. But this person is an adult.

As this person has not been diagnosed, it's unfair and possibly untrue to say he's definitely got ARFID or some form of disability.

[Confuzzlediddled]

@DelBocaVista my DH has ARFID, he had hypnotherapy, which helped immensely, he had started trying new foods without the fear and physical reaction, however he had a mental health breakdown which meant all the hard work was undone. As he is now recovering he plans to try again.
Ignore the childish and ignorant comments on here, no doubt they are the same people who were spouting #bekind a few months ago!

[osbertthesyrianhamster]

@OwlBeThere

The comments on this post...ARFID is a recognised ED so would you make such cruel comments about an anorexic persons eating habits???
My son has ARFID *@littlepieces* and it’s a tough one as it becomes about fear that other foods will make you sick. He needs proper help with this, I would make him an appointment and drag him there somehow.

You really suggest dragging an adult to a doctor against his will? Yeah, that's going to work. You can't do that to an adult and he's not ill enough to be sectioned. Even then, as a parent of a child with ASD, that doesn't work! You have to get the person to engage with the help, to want it, dragging them, haahaa. I can guarantee that doesn't work. ASD and conditions like ARFID are rooted in wanting to feel in control to lessen anxiety, cajoling, forcing, etc achieves the opposite of that.

[Horehound]

Everyone projecting this guy has AFRID when you don't know he does projecting alert!

[Frequentflier]

Honestly, I would not be able to put up with this and to suggestions that OP cook and blend a little bit of spinach in his baked beans, he's not a toddler! Let him blend his own spinach.

[OwlBeThere]

@osbertthesyrianhamster whether this man has a disability or an ED is entirely irrelevant. The comment applies to anyone who has ARFID at least one of which is on this thread, calling disordered eating ‘disgusting’ and ‘makes my lady bits shrivel up’ is a truly truly vile way to talk about people who are struggling. Whatever the reasons behind it this man clearly feels he can’t eat other things and that is the definition of disordered eating. It will make people struggling feel embarrassed and ashamed and that’s not fucking on.
@littlepieces is of course free to leave if it’s too much for her or he won’t help himself, but it’s not ok for other posters to belittle and make gross comments. This isn’t a site for teenagers.

[DelBocaVista]

[quote Confuzzlediddled]@DelBocaVista my DH has ARFID, he had hypnotherapy, which helped immensely, he had started trying new foods without the fear and physical reaction, however he had a mental health breakdown which meant all the hard work was undone. As he is now recovering he plans to try again.
Ignore the childish and ignorant comments on here, no doubt they are the same people who were spouting #bekind a few months ago![/quote]
Thank you.
I have heard that hypnotherapy can work. I'm going to start making some investigations.
I bloody hate it and really wish I wasn't like this!
Hope your DH makes some progress.

[Frequentflier]

@1forAll74

I don't suppose your partner will seek out any help,if he feels ok with what he eats..Lamb is supposed to be a healthy meat to eat..Maybe it's the amounts of it that he eats that is the problem.. Bodies need a selection of all different kinds of foodstuffs, to keep them functioning properly. Eating just one type of thing all the time,will give you an overload of that food,especially a meat of some sort,when you really need other stuff as well, as in balancing things for all your body needs.

People who eat a lot of hot curries,usually have strong body odour about them.,which they probably wouldn't have,if they didn't eat a lot of hot curries.

I feel like getting some lamb now, I haven't had any for ages,
Some hot countries have lamb dishes all the time,as they don't have a lot of cattle.!

People who eat a lot of hot curries usually have strong body odour about them...

Honestly, MN reads like the Daily Mail sometimes. Smelly forriners.

[OwlBeThere]

@osbertthesyrianhamster when I said drag I didn’t mean physically, in my local vernacular that means to cajole and convince, I am well aware you can’t force an adult to see a doctor.

@Horehound from what OP says it’s very likely he would get a diagnosis of ARFID. He ticks all the boxes.

[DelBocaVista]

[quote OwlBeThere]@osbertthesyrianhamster whether this man has a disability or an ED is entirely irrelevant. The comment applies to anyone who has ARFID at least one of which is on this thread, calling disordered eating ‘disgusting’ and ‘makes my lady bits shrivel up’ is a truly truly vile way to talk about people who are struggling. Whatever the reasons behind it this man clearly feels he can’t eat other things and that is the definition of disordered eating. It will make people struggling feel embarrassed and ashamed and that’s not fucking on.
@littlepieces is of course free to leave if it’s too much for her or he won’t help himself, but it’s not ok for other posters to belittle and make gross comments. This isn’t a site for teenagers.[/quote]
I wish there was a like button for this

[Lovemusic33]

This has reminded me of a ex that wouldn’t ear the end of sausages because they look like willies 😬😬

OP, he needs to see a dietitian and get tested for allergies then he may feel more comfortable eating other foods. Lamb is expensive, I only eat it a couple times a year, it’s also pretty fatty, the lack of vegetables and fruit probably means he’s lacking in vitamins so he could probably do with a blood test too.

I have a fussy dd who has sensory issues around food, she mainly eats carbs and no vegetables, It drives me nuts but the more of a issue I make of it the worse it becomes.

[ThumbWitchesAbroad]

Sounds like he has some nutritional deficiencies - no greens? no veg other than beans? (Potatoes don't really count as decent veg - sacks of carbs with a tiny bit of vit C)
He should really see someone about his restrictive diet - it's not a healthy one!

[Babygotblueyes]

I've told him (gently) he smells of lamb all the time and he tells me I'm being nasty!

How is it nasty to report a fact? Not reasonable of him.

[PLAYJAJADINGDONG]

Ableist for saying I wouldn't be able to fancy a man who only ate 5-6 foodstuffs?

Ableist for saying I would choose not to date someone for this reason?

Rightio 😂.

Don't ever change MN.

OP has my sympathy but she states that he's been a fussy eater all his life. As someone who loves food, wine, travel and culture this would be an instant deal-breaker for me. I would never get involved with someone whose approach to food was so at odds with mine.

We are still allowed to choose who we date............right?

[partyatthepalace]

He’s obviously got an issue but you cannot be expected to share a bed/house with a man who smells of lamb fat through his own choices.

I think a gentle come to Jesus conversation is in order, followed by a firm plan of action. Otherwise you will have to decide what you can and can’t put up with.

[DelBocaVista]

@PLAYJAJADINGDONG

Ableist for saying I wouldn't be able to fancy a man who only ate 5-6 foodstuffs?

Ableist for saying I would choose not to date someone for this reason?

Rightio 😂.

Don't ever change MN.

OP has my sympathy but she states that he's been a fussy eater all his life. As someone who loves food, wine, travel and culture this would be an instant deal-breaker for me. I would never get involved with someone whose approach to food was so at odds with mine.

We are still allowed to choose who we date............right?

Of course you can choose you you date but there is no need to be so fucking nasty about it.

[LH1987]

Oh god, that has made me feel a bit sick. Lamb is so fatty!

He probably needs some kind of therapy because that is not normal. I would hope that the lamb smell is more his breathe or clothes though.

Could you try to coax him a bit like a fussy child. Maybe he would try lamb salad, with potato salad. Lamb and veg stew etc etc. It might be a bit of an improvement.