To be worried that DP only eats lamb...and smells of it

[littlepieces]

DP eats a combination of lamb, potatoes and baked beans for every. single. meal. Sometimes he has chicken, or a bacon sandwich with GF bread. He has porridge for breakfast with 2 tablespoons of sugar. He had some digestive issues a few years ago and became convinced he has a gluten intolerance - he knows the meat, potato, beans combo is safe. But he won't go to the doctors to get properly checked out.

However, I'm really worried about his health. He constantly smells like lamb fat, it emnates from his pores. He's become quite pasty looking and very skinny. AIBU for desperately wanting to do something about it/what can I do to help? I'm a very adventurous eater, love veg, and I always offer him bits of whatever I cook (GF) but he refuses. I'm guessing he has something like ARFID. I think he's always been a fussy eater and eats purely because he has to. I understand his mum used to cook him chips pretty much every day for dinner as a child because that's what he wanted.

[RickiTarr]

Have you tried speaking to an eating disorder charity or specialist yourself? Preferably one that deals in ARFID and similar, obviously.

It sounds like you need help to understand more before you can support him or make any decisions.

[littlepieces]

@RickiTarr Yes good idea, I will do.

[DelBocaVista]

Everyone is different but I really hate people telling me what I should be doing or eating.
However, it sounds like eat a wider selection of food ( I don't eat meat, fish, eggs, but will eat some veg, fruit, pizza, pasta with tomato type sauces but have very bland tastes) so I understand why you are concerned.

[OwlBeThere]

@littlepieces you seem a very lovely girlfriend and the fact you want to help him is great. There is a fine line between encouragement and pushing, but I think speaking to a professional yourself is a great idea. Like any extreme eating issue (and I take the pp point who says it could well be a physical problem too, I’m coeliac myself and I know all to well the pain and discomfort of eating something with gluten in it) it affects everyone around it and you deserve help as well.

[Exhausted4ever]

If he eats that many baked beans I imagine it's not just lamb he's stinking of (not envy)

[billy1966]

Sounds awful and we love lamb.

A mis match with food is huge.
Total deal breaker for me as I'm such a foodie.
Our shared adventure ness with food was one of husbands attractions 30+years ago.

[malificent7]

Only on mn would people suggest leaving someone they love over food.

[malificent7]

I think smelling of lamb might put me off though.

[WineAcademy]

He's an adult, and you're not his mum. I'm agog at posters saying you should gently guide him into taking vitamins or going to the gp. Can he not use his own brain to recognise there is an issue himself? Sheesh.

[Graphista]

The more you post the more it sounds like he's experiencing physical symptoms that could be indicative of something more sinister going on.

In all likelihood it's not it's a milder condition with less serious consequences but it could be something serious that by ignoring he's potentially missing out on or delaying crucial treatment

I have bowel issues and endo on my bowel too and certain foods and eating at certain times of day trigger physical symptoms eg if I even attempt to eat within two hours of waking I'm cursed with cramps and indigestion the rest of the day, my mother is the opposite in that she HAS to eat as soon as she's awake or she suffers terribly the rest of that day.

People aren't suggesting Ltb flippantly I don't think. They're saying be supportive if he's willing to at least discuss and consider addressing the problem but if he's adamant he won't then op needs to consider the impact on her life.

She doesn't exist to nurse a man who won't even consider seeing an actual medical professional about this

[OwlBeThere]

@NeverDropYourMoonCup

Are you suggesting that Autism and eating disorders aren’t ’actual, real illnesses?’

[OwlBeThere]

@WineAcademy

He's an adult, and you're not his mum. I'm agog at posters saying you should gently guide him into taking vitamins or going to the gp. Can he not use his own brain to recognise there is an issue himself? Sheesh.

People with mental health issues, eating disorders and many other health issues often need support and encouragement to seek help. There’s no shame in that.

[RickiTarr]

And it's all either Autism or an Eating Disorder.

Never an actual, real illness.

Whut?

[Egghead81]

@NeverDropYourMoonCup

* And it's all either Autism or an Eating Disorder.*

Never an actual, real illness.

What a peculiar statement. And that’s putting it kindly!

[WineAcademy]

People with mental health issues, eating disorders and many other health issues often need support and encouragement to seek help. There’s no shame in that.

And a woman shouldn't allow herself to be subsumed by someone else's struggles, either.

[NeverDropYourMoonCup]

[quote OwlBeThere]@NeverDropYourMoonCup

Are you suggesting that Autism and eating disorders aren’t ’actual, real illnesses?’[/quote]
No. But the tendency to put everything down to either means that other conditions which can be treated relatively easily get ignored. Like women get told they have irritable bowel syndrome or stress when they have bowel cancer. Eliminate physical causes first, then look at other conditions, as saying 'well, it must be autism or an ED' and treating it accordingly will do precisely fuck all to help an autoimmune or inflammatory bowel condition.

[MangosteenSoda]

ASD isn’t a illness. My DS is autistic; he’s disabled. He’s not ill.

As you were

[MangosteenSoda]

*an illness

[BookiesBicycle]

Let him eat what he likes but the smell in inexcusable. Strong shampoo, soap, and the strongest antiperspirant deodorant you can find. Otherwise I’d let him get on with it. Bizarre, but hey.

[OwlBeThere]

@MangosteenSoda

ASD isn’t a illness. My DS is autistic; he’s disabled. He’s not ill.

As you were

Yes that’s fair, but it is ‘actual and real’.

@NeverDropYourMoonCup well yes it’s definitely important to consider other causes. That doesn’t explain why you referred to ASD and ED in that way though does it?

[Balldog]

Sorry, and i know this is insensitive - I but I just found the OP's post hilarious!! I wouldn't be hanging around any longer than necessary!

[hellosunshine9]

That's disgusting! I'm sitting here gagging at the thought of someone smelling like lamb

[NeverDropYourMoonCup]

@NeverDropYourMoonCup well yes it’s definitely important to consider other causes. That doesn’t explain why you referred to ASD and ED in that way though does it?

I apologise for not being clearer. I have the joys of both sets of acronyms being attached to my medical file.

I also have Psoriatic Arthritis with a number of common comorbidities. It wasn't being told 'Oh well, you're anxious' or 'You haven't lost enough weight/have you considered taking these antidepressants to deal with those symptoms/she's just a fussy eater, she should have more vegetables' that dealt with the issues that arose as a direct result of having an autoimmune disease.

It was being seen by a specialist in Autoimmune and Rheumatological conditions that got those symptoms treated. Deal with the uncontrolled inflammation in my case, and around 93% of the issues completely disappeared within a few months, I'm currently left with just the permanent damage sustained during the time doctors were busy saying it couldn't possibly be anything physical because the two other diagnoses answered everything - without so much as a blood test that would have (and did in the end) shown a more likely physical cause that could be treated.


ASD isn't an illness, it's how you are. An ED is an illness that needs specialist input, support and treatment for the physical and emotional effects.

To me, an autoimmune/inflammatory disease being ignored by pretty much every poster when it is a very real possibility, because the perception or diagnoses of the moment are that everything must be Autism/ARFID or an ED (so, to use the most irritating phrase ever, is All In The Mind) and the OP actually details a diet consistent with an autoimmune elimination diet or protocol, symptoms consistent with an autoimmune disease, reasoning consistent with an autoimmune disease and common consequences of having an undiagnosed and untreated autoimmune disease, is incredibly frustrating, even when I am reading during a break at work and only have a short time to post before having to go back to work - and the post came over to posters in a way I didn't intend for it to be.



Anyhow, it appears to have been decided by the OP and most posters that he can't possibly have an autoimmune or inflammatory disease, so I hope they're right. As if he does have one and it remains undiagnosed and untreated, that doesn't just mean he continues smelling like a small hill farm in summer, it could result in a life expectancy of around 63 - if he doesn't succumb to cardiomyopathy as a direct result of his untreated disease at 54 like my father did, that is.

[WorkHardPlayHard1]

@thebakeoffwasntasgoodthisyear

Doesn’t it cost a fortune? - we don’t eat lamb often but it seems to be one of the more expensive meals. I’d hate the smell too and couldn’t put up with it in the long term.

I had an ex who ate eggs for dinner 4 nights a week, and he’d always be in the middle of cooking/eating them when I got home from work. It grated on me as I hate the smell of egg, and it didn’t help that he looked a bit like an egg too, so ended up splitting over it.

This gave me a belly laugh! 😂😂😂
I'd love to see a picture of him looking like an egg.
PS does this make him a cannibal if he only liked eggs? 🥚🍳🥚👀😬