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To be worried that DP only eats lamb...and smells of it

162 replies

littlepieces · 18/05/2021 13:36

DP eats a combination of lamb, potatoes and baked beans for every. single. meal. Sometimes he has chicken, or a bacon sandwich with GF bread. He has porridge for breakfast with 2 tablespoons of sugar. He had some digestive issues a few years ago and became convinced he has a gluten intolerance - he knows the meat, potato, beans combo is safe. But he won't go to the doctors to get properly checked out.

However, I'm really worried about his health. He constantly smells like lamb fat, it emnates from his pores. He's become quite pasty looking and very skinny. AIBU for desperately wanting to do something about it/what can I do to help? I'm a very adventurous eater, love veg, and I always offer him bits of whatever I cook (GF) but he refuses. I'm guessing he has something like ARFID. I think he's always been a fussy eater and eats purely because he has to. I understand his mum used to cook him chips pretty much every day for dinner as a child because that's what he wanted.

OP posts:

Am I being unreasonable?

489 votes. Final results.

You are being unreasonable
You are NOT being unreasonable
Sick · 18/05/2021 13:47

You'll probably get helpful responses if you ask for this to be moved to the health section.

Horehound · 18/05/2021 13:49

Oh the smelling of lamb sounds horrible.
And I like lamb!
He needs to go to a dietitian if he won't go to gp.

I had a boyfriend that only ate cheese sandwiches, tinned strawberries and cheese and onion crisps.
Ex boyfriend! Can't be bothered putting up with that crap. I'm a foodie and love fine dining so we were just so mismatched.

Horehound · 18/05/2021 13:51

Because as you say you love different veg etc and it becomes an irritant when your partner is so close minded not to even try things.
So if he refuses help, what are you going to do because obviously that's just him being stubborn and is happy enough with his own diet. So then you have to make a decision whether you can live with it or not

Temp023 · 18/05/2021 13:52

Bleuch! I hope he’s an absolute prince in other ways!

Sportysporty · 18/05/2021 13:54

Hes a woolf!

SingToTheSky · 18/05/2021 13:55

If he really thinks he is intolerant to gluten then the porridge probably isn’t a good idea anyway. Many porridge oats are contaminated with wheat etc anyway, but even though you can get “free from” porridge that is guaranteed uncontaminated, some coeliacs still can’t have it as they’re also intolerant to the oats - like my DH.

Being tested for coeliac is easy but he would need to eat gluten before the test so a lot of people prefer not to risk that.

He sounds very anxious if he’s sticking to such a limited diet out of fear - is he ok other than this?

PaperMonster · 18/05/2021 14:00

That sounds tough, and I do empathise. My OH started eating a lot of bean/veg concoctions and he smells bizarre nowadays. And I don’t just mean his farts, but by crikey they’re lethal. He has a strange odour about him and if you go into the bathroom after he’s had a wee, there’s a really strange smell. Sorry, I know that’s not helpful but you’re not alone!!

littlepieces · 18/05/2021 14:03

I'd feel a bit mean to be 'not putting up with it' - I don't want to leave someone because of a health/mental health problem. But he doesn't seem to want help and seems perfectly happy with his eating habits, so I don't know how far I'd be right to get involved? I've told him (gently) he smells of lamb all the time and he tells me I'm being nasty!

OP posts:
Calvinlookingforhobbes · 18/05/2021 14:05

LTB. Seriously.

RantyAnty · 18/05/2021 14:07

Just get rid.

Lifes too short to deal with weird issues he refuses to deal with

Horehound · 18/05/2021 14:07

But surely this does dictate things in your life? Do you go out for meals?
It's not nasty to say to your partner they smell of a food. It's hardly attractive is it?
I fear you're being too sensitive about it and to him.
I mean it's not attractive is it? Is this how you want to live?

Horehound · 18/05/2021 14:08

And also if you just pussy foot around it, he's not gona take you seriously and think you'll just put up with it.
Sorry, I couldn't love someone like that.

Flaunch · 18/05/2021 14:09

Sounds absolutely disgusting 🤮

NoIDontWatchLoveIsland · 18/05/2021 14:11

If all he ate as a child was chips and he's still an extremely picky eater could he possibly have a form of ARFID?

Can you focus on getting him to take a vitamin regularly, and very slowly trying to bridge out from what he can eat now to add any more variety? Eg if he will eat baked beans, would he let you cook and blend some spinach and stir in a tiny quantity, and then gradually increase the amount? Be prepared for it to take a long time - a few weeks.

Same re potatoes. Could you try and get him to eat a single piece of sweet potato as part of the meal.then try a parsnip, or piece of butternut squash, but very gradually - tiny tiny pieces initially.

NoIDontWatchLoveIsland · 18/05/2021 14:12

Also does he have any other sensory difficulties? Picky about the clothes or shoes he wears? Struggles with noises or smells?

AfterSchoolWorry · 18/05/2021 14:12

Oh God. I hate lamb. 🤢Maybe you need to be less gentle in telling him to sort it out!

thebakeoffwasntasgoodthisyear · 18/05/2021 14:13

Doesn’t it cost a fortune? - we don’t eat lamb often but it seems to be one of the more expensive meals. I’d hate the smell too and couldn’t put up with it in the long term.

I had an ex who ate eggs for dinner 4 nights a week, and he’d always be in the middle of cooking/eating them when I got home from work. It grated on me as I hate the smell of egg, and it didn’t help that he looked a bit like an egg too, so ended up splitting over it.

Musication · 18/05/2021 14:13

It needs addressing, but depending on the length of your relationship/whether you have kids/how you feel about him in other ways, I'm not sure LTB is useful advice just yet.

Does he accept that this is not a normal way to eat and that he is depriving himself of nutrients? If he accepts it is a problem than perhaps he could go to a GP and get a referral to a dietician.

In your shoes I would firmly say that you're not prepared to carry on pretending this is normal because it effects your life too. If and when he acknowledges that then you can move forward. If he doesn't do so in a time frame that works for you then I would consider leaving.

Flaunch · 18/05/2021 14:16

it didn’t help that he looked a bit like an egg too, so ended up splitting over it


Horehound · 18/05/2021 14:16

Well, it does sound like he's not open to help and called op nasty when she "gently" suggested he smelled of lamb.
There's no hope I'm afraid.

Hopeisnotastrategy · 18/05/2021 14:17

I presume you mean baked beans OP? If so not all brands are GF. Heinz are.

ThatIsMyPotato · 18/05/2021 14:21

Have you tried sitting down and talking to him about it? Does he work with other people? It's better you being truthful than being "lamb dude" at work. And lamb isn't cheap. If he thinks it's ok could you try saying that you know he thinks it's ok but if he wants to stop you mentioning it you need him to see a doctor for reassurance?

RickJames · 18/05/2021 14:29

I'm sorry OP but "smells like lamb" has got me in stitches! I actually wont eat lamb precisely because if you've ever kept sheep (I have) you realise that lamb tastes/smells like sheep smell.

It's not the worst smell in the world but my goodness I wouldn't find it attractive. I'd split over a partner smelling like an animal and I wouldn't feel at all guilty.

H2OConnoisseur · 18/05/2021 14:31


Oh the smelling of lamb sounds horrible.
And I like lamb!
He needs to go to a dietitian if he won't go to gp.

I had a boyfriend that only ate cheese sandwiches, tinned strawberries and cheese and onion crisps.
Ex boyfriend! Can't be bothered putting up with that crap. I'm a foodie and love fine dining so we were just so mismatched.

Sounds just like my ex. She lived on nuggets, fish sticks, plain bacon cheese pizzas (has to be the frozen kind she won't eat the ones they served when we were in Sicily), crisps, and fries. I remember going on holiday to Japan with her. We went to this place with incredibly fresh sushi and she wouldn't even taste it. Went to a nice restaurant that served udon and soba and she 'doesn't do noodles' so she didn't have anything there either. Pork cutlets? Won't taste them. Swedish meatballs from IKEA? Ew brown sauce. Açai bowls? Won't try it. Fruits? She was served tinned peaches back in school and hated them so much she wouldn't try any fruit since then. Veggies? She thought green food looks gross so wouldn't go near them with a 10 foot pole.

To be fair, she did come from a small town and had no exposure to any other cuisines as a child aside from a local 'Asian' place that served really horrible imitations of what they think Asian food should taste like and a local 'Italian' place that constantly boiled their pastas to mush. Still, as a foodie it was incredibly frustrating for me and I resented how we could never go out for dinner as any restaurant that didn't serve chicken nuggets, fish sticks, or fries was a no-go for us!!
Pinkdelight3 · 18/05/2021 14:31

Wow, lamb is random! Expensive, as a PP says, and not that readily available on the hop. YANBU - it is worrying and will start to take a toll. It wasn't nasty of you to mention the smell, it was factual. The fact that he was so touchy about it suggests he's not that okay with it deep down and is just blanking out the issue. I'd get him to see a dietician if at all possible. Use the GF angle as a way in as he's latched onto that. They can give him alternatives to the lamb diet and he might listen to them.

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