AIBU?
To be fed up of dd13 downstairs everynight
Thedarksideofthemoon30 · 15/05/2021 21:30
I absolutely love my dd13 obviously and I appreciate she wants to hang out with us (her dad!!) but it’s getting past a joke. It’s been going on for over a year now and We haven’t had one evening to ourselves in that time. I’m sick of not being able to watch soemthing that isn’t suitable. I’m sick of listening to her eating crisps while watching something lol and I’m sick of having to sit on my own on the other side of the room while she lays on the other sofa with DH.
We were halfway through a film but she clearly was bored, messing with her glasses etc so I turned it off and came to bed. I’m so fed up with it every single night!!
Dh won’t send her up stairs, he’s always too scared to say anything incase she falls out with him!!
Am I being unreasonable?
AIBUYou have one vote. All votes are anonymous.
You're the parent at the end of the day.cookinahurry · 15/05/2021 21:32
I get this. Boundaries and bedtime required at 13 years of age in my opinion. Our daughter is loved, listened to and her complaint enjoyed immensely but she is our daughter and not our friend.
Not sure how you now start to enforce a bedtime at this stage though; you do need her dad inside though.
Good luck
ThatFlamingCandle · 15/05/2021 21:36
Can't you eat all her politely to go upstairs? It doesn't have to be bedtime or an argument.
Literally just "DD would you mind going up by 9 tonight so me and dad can watch a film"
Really not that hard, it took more effort to write this post than must ask fgs
speakout · 15/05/2021 21:37
As children grow things change- and when they become teenagers they can't be tucked up in bed at 6pm like a toddler giving you adult eveing time.
It's unfair to send her upstairs before her bedtime just because you don;t like her company.
How would you feel?
Things will get worse in the next few years.
A 13year old needs only a little more sleep than an adult- what will you do when she is 15? 17?
You can't send her to bed at 16 years old.
You need to re adjust your evening activities to include your teenager.
Is she your biological daughter OP?
Thedarksideofthemoon30 · 15/05/2021 21:38
She goes bed around 10/10.15. So literally the same time.
I do enjoy it but sometimes I just need a break.
She shares her room with her younger sister so can’t go and relax in her room sadly, but she has our room that she sometimes goes and relaxes in.
Rabbitheadlights · 15/05/2021 21:38
My DD 15 and DS 12 are given a filled drinks bottle (the kind they take to school ) and a packet of crisps, chocolate biscuit and mini bag of haribo at 8:30/9pm. (They usually only eat the crisps) then they have no reason to come downstairs unless they have a problem. We all need downtime even parents!
itsgettingwierd · 15/05/2021 21:39
That doesn't sound fair - dd and DH cuddled on a sofa whilst your pushed out.
She's the child and your his partner.
Start lying down boundaries.
And start saying bedtime is 9pm (reasonable for 13).
My ds is now 16 and we often both go at 9 (we get up at 4 as he's a swimmer) or on nights of no swimming in the morning we go when we are tired. But we alternate choice of tv or watch the shows we both like together.
This evening he's watching something he wants but did ask me at 9 if I'd like to find something on tv we both like. But I'm happy he is watching a programme as I'm on MN!
To comment on this thread you need to create a Mumsnet account.