DH gets grumpy without sex

[Olivia2900]

DH & I have been married nearly 8 years. We have 2 young children (4 & 18mnths). Both work full-time; manage day-to-day household chores, etc - life is busy, same for everyone. Where we don't have sex after 3-4 weeks DH starts getting grumpy, frustrated, short, snappy with me on a daily basis - I can tell it's affecting him. he tries to but I'm often tired. I tell him to get over himself and grow up but the cycle just continues and has done for years; nothing changes. We have sex around once every 2 months normally. AIBU for reacting like this? should I be showing more of an interest, to prioritise his needs once in a while? he's great with the kids; works extremely hard; supports the family incredibly well and looks after us and makes me laugh every day - no issues there; just this. views please.

It is important, as per have said, there are so many posts on here about women who think the relationship was great and are blindsided by an affair. They later reveal they barely had sex but say they thought their partner was OK with that as they had given up asking.

This is spot on I'm afraid and I agree. The partner is 100% wrong for having the affair and not leaving - always wrong!

But the ostrich head in the sand act from some "my DH is fine with no sex! I wouldn't let him near me even if he wanted it! All that sweating and humping - ugh" ...

Yeah. That's what that perspective sometimes leads to .

With my ex sex was always painful I wasn’t turned on and an inverted womb didn’t help, today I’d love long slow session, (in my dreams)

@Holothane

With my ex sex was always painful I wasn’t turned on and an inverted womb didn’t help, today I’d love long slow session, (in my dreams)

This is why the "it's only 15m, put up with it" crowd need to give their heads a wobble.

It really doesn’t matter how regularly the other posters on here like to have sex. It doesn’t matter if they prefer quickies or only bother if it can be a full on marathon, chandelier-swinging experience. You’re not having a sexual relationship with them and neither is your husband so their preferences are irrelevant.
All that matters is that you and your husband have found yourselves in a situation where your sex drives have become mismatched.
I wouldn’t suggest you have sex with him to keep him happy when you do not want to. It could lead to feeling used, resentful, isolated and even less likely to want and enjoy sex.
You need to get to the bottom of why your sex drive has diminished.
Are you too tired because he doesn’t help out enough?
Are you too tired because there is an underlying medical issue?
Are you just not sexually attracted to your partner anymore?
Do you find the sex fulfilling?

Each of these questions has a very different answer and only by getting to the root cause of your low sex drive can you actually make things better.

So, couples’ therapy, GP, a frank discussion with your husband may all be needed.

Good luck xx