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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

Baby crying on the train

185 replies

Beldb · 15/05/2021 13:33

I'm on the train and there's a young looking couple (not judging) and a baby in it's pushchair. The baby has been crying for about 5 minutes. The poor mum is trying to settle the baby but the dad is just ignoring it and he's on his phone!!

If this was my husband and he wasn't helping I'd tell him to get off his phone and help!

I can't believe what I'm seeing

OP posts:

Garyunicorn · 15/05/2021 14:09

If there's a baby crying on the bus or train my only thought is 'poor parents' The little one may be going through a crying phase, and they have possibly got that for the next week/s I can get off the bus or train.

Hesma · 15/05/2021 14:09

How do you know that the dad hasn’t been dealing with it all morning and now is mum’s turn? Take of your judge pants and MYOB

Flowerlane · 15/05/2021 14:11

5 minutes in and you have judged them. You don’t know anything about them. 🙄

WorraLiberty · 15/05/2021 14:13

@Beldb

I'm not judging, I'm just saying he could be helping her. The baby is now on her lap and he's still crying but the man is just ignoring them with his earphones in on his phone!

And for those saying don't I have anything better to do, I can't help but notice if I'm on the train aswell.

Well perhaps it's her turn to deal with it?

PegPeople · 15/05/2021 14:13

If there's a baby crying on the bus or train my only thought is 'poor parents'

Which seems a much more reasonable response than judging one of the parents to be a shit parent for not helping settle the baby after seeing only a 5 minute snapshot of their life and then starting a thread on it.

blacksax · 15/05/2021 14:14

He could offer to hold the baby and give her a break Some babies don't work like that - they will only settle for the primary carer.

StreetLightsHoney · 15/05/2021 14:15

He could offer to hold the baby and give her a break.

Why does she need a break? It’s been five minutes.

Iminaglasscaseofemotion · 15/05/2021 14:15

It's a train, and he's sitting with head phones in completely ignoring th on his phone. Are you sure he's actually with them?

Blossomtoes · 15/05/2021 14:15

He could offer to hold the baby and give her a break

How does that work? The baby will still be crying and she’ll still be able to hear it.

Boatygirl · 15/05/2021 14:16

You are judging though.

What does their age have to do with it?

How do you know he’s the dad?

Babies cry.

Sirzy · 15/05/2021 14:16

Sometimes it much better to tag team things like this than both being stressed and using their strategies at the same time.

The child is being cared for by a parent. No need to judge.

grapewine · 15/05/2021 14:18

You don't know he's the father or even someone she knows. At the present time, no strangers should be holding babies and children.

flashylamp · 15/05/2021 14:19

He could offer to hold the baby and give her a break.

He could. Maybe he did. Maybe she said no. Maybe they have an arrangement for this situation. Maybe. Maybe. Maybe.

Stop assuming you know what is best for strangers.

Happycat1212 · 15/05/2021 14:20

This thread is so weird

Saibuter · 15/05/2021 14:20

@Beldb

I was assuming he's the father but even if he isn't he could still offer to help if he was her boyfriend/relative. Even if I didn't need help my husband would ask

I’d hate to be on the same train as you! Maybe he helps out in other ways and he might not even be the father, so stop being ridiculous

Lockdownbear · 15/05/2021 14:21

How do you know his call isn't work related or something else that's equally important?

What would you say if the woman was on a call while the man dealt with the baby?

Original poster

Beldb · 15/05/2021 14:22

If she didn't know him, with Covid rules he wouldn't be sitting next to here as the train isn't exactly busy so he could sit elsewhere.

OP posts:

UrAWizHarry · 15/05/2021 14:23

"He could offer to hold the baby and give her a break."

Maybe he's not the father.

Maybe he was up all night with the kid and wants a break.

Maybe he is dealing with work emails.

Maybe you should stop judging random people and posting mean spirited threads.

How would you feel if the bloke was sitting posting a thread entitled "I'm on a train and this nosey woman is staring at my sister whilst she tries to settle her kid. AIBU to tell her that her hair looks shit"?

Original poster

Beldb · 15/05/2021 14:23

@Beldb

If she didn't know him, with Covid rules he wouldn't be sitting next to here as the train isn't exactly busy so he could sit elsewhere.

Her*

OP posts:

StreetLightsHoney · 15/05/2021 14:24

Do you have children, OP?

Original poster

Beldb · 15/05/2021 14:25

Yes and husband always asked me if I needed any help with our DCs

OP posts:

Scarby9 · 15/05/2021 14:26

My parents travelled with me from North Wales to Northumberland when Ii was 4 months old. Apparently I screamed all the way.
In those days, it ws separate compartments with a door to the platform. Each time they thought they were alone, another person got in from a station, settled themselves down, humphed at the noise, complained then left to find another compartment at the next station, only for someone else to get in.
My mum said she was scarred for life!

PegPeople · 15/05/2021 14:26

@StreetLightsHoney

Do you have children, OP?

I'm doubtful. Surely most people who have children have nothing but sympathy for parents who find themselves with an unsettled baby on a train/bus or plane journey. They certainly don't go starting rediculously judgemental threads about unsubstantiated circumstances.

lydia2021 · 15/05/2021 14:28

Beldb. Its commendable imo that you care about a baby and a female that you dont know personally. Many f up people just look the other way. It's the norm....

Arbadacarba · 15/05/2021 14:28

@Beldb

If she didn't know him, with Covid rules he wouldn't be sitting next to here as the train isn't exactly busy so he could sit elsewhere.

That doesn't mean he's the baby's dad, though. He could be another friend or relative (that they are bubbled with). If I was sitting next to a friend/relative with a crying baby I wouldn't try to interfere with the way the parent was managing the situation - it might imply criticism, and I have no clue when it comes to babies anyway.

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