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AIBU?

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Original poster

Baby crying on the train

185 replies

Beldb · 15/05/2021 13:33

I'm on the train and there's a young looking couple (not judging) and a baby in it's pushchair. The baby has been crying for about 5 minutes. The poor mum is trying to settle the baby but the dad is just ignoring it and he's on his phone!!Shock

If this was my husband and he wasn't helping I'd tell him to get off his phone and help!

I can't believe what I'm seeing

OP posts:
Happycat1212 · 15/05/2021 13:51

Once again, you don’t know he is the dad!? He could be anyone. Maybe stop judging this is such a weird thing to judge anyway!! Just goes to show how people will just you on every little thing

vodkaredbullgirl · 15/05/2021 13:52

Op do you have kids? genuine question btw

flashylamp · 15/05/2021 13:52

I'm not judging, I'm just saying he could be helping her.

Erm....

Judge

form an opinion or conclusion about.

Your 'just saying' is an absolute judgement of a situation you know fuck all about. You are the kind of person that makes peoples anxiety so bad sometimes that they literally cannot go out. Stop it. People don't want to read your shit

UrAWizHarry · 15/05/2021 13:52

"I'm not judging..."

Yeah, you totally are. It doesn't take 2 people to settle a baby, and you might not be able to ignore it on a train but you can certainly not create a dickish thread about it.

Darkstar4855 · 15/05/2021 13:53

You are absolutely judging them, despite knowing nothing about their circumstances. So yes, YABU.

PegPeople · 15/05/2021 13:54

@Beldb

I'm not judging, I'm just saying he could be helping her. The baby is now on her lap and he's still crying but the man is just ignoring them with his earphones in on his phone!

And for those saying don't I have anything better to do, I can't help but notice if I'm on the train aswell.

Of course you are judging.

You have absolutely no idea why he's not offering to help, presumably if he is the babies dad and mum needs a hand she will ask for help. By all means judge if that happens and he still doesn't put his phone down but until that situation arises you have absolutely no idea why he's not helping.

Like I said previous and as others have pointed out. Sometimes a baby settles better for one patent. The other parent getting involved would have just made the situation 100 times more stressful and achieved nothing but the baby being more upset.

OwlTwitterings · 15/05/2021 13:55

@Beldb

I'm not judging, I'm just saying he could be helping her. The baby is now on her lap and he's still crying but the man is just ignoring them with his earphones in on his phone!

And for those saying don't I have anything better to do, I can't help but notice if I'm on the train aswell.

You are judging.

Once again, he might not be the baby’s father; they might work shifts to console the baby and he is having a deserved breather; maybe the baby only settles for mum; maybe he should be doing more. None of us know but it is clear you are judging.

Blossomtoes · 15/05/2021 13:55

@Beldb

I'm not judging, I'm just saying he could be helping her. The baby is now on her lap and he's still crying but the man is just ignoring them with his earphones in on his phone!

And for those saying don't I have anything better to do, I can't help but notice if I'm on the train aswell.

What help could he realistically provide?
Mydarlingmyhamburger · 15/05/2021 13:55

If both of them had to settle the baby every time it cried, neither of them would ever get a break. Dad may have been up all night with it as far as you know

Comefromaway · 15/05/2021 13:55

What exactly is the dad meant to do?

MiddleClassProblem · 15/05/2021 13:56

You still haven’t answered how you know he is the father...

MiddleClassProblem · 15/05/2021 13:57

I’m hoping this results in a dna test 😂

MikeWozniaksGloriousTache · 15/05/2021 13:58

Maybe you should offer to help if you can’t help but notice?

Saibuter · 15/05/2021 13:58

This could be me and my partner. If DS cries on the bus/train/any form of public transport, I try and calm him down and it might seem like partner is ‘ignoring us’ but he isn’t, he gets very travel sick. At home and anywhere else he does a lot and I’d hate for someone like you to judge him when they don’t know why he’s ‘ignoring us’.

Timper · 15/05/2021 13:59

If they’d both been trying to soothe the baby you’d be on here accusing them on ‘performance parenting.’ When my child needs comforted I can guarantee they’d be even more unsettled if 2 of us were hovering over them. They know their child - you don’t.

Curiosity101 · 15/05/2021 13:59

I’m hoping this results in a dna test 😂

😂😂😂

ArnoldJudasRimmer · 15/05/2021 14:00

@MiddleClassProblem

You still haven’t answered how you know he is the father...
I want to know this too. I would rather settle my baby on my own in this situation, two of us fussing over him would be overkill, plus he's breastfed and 99.9% of the time that's what will settle him so it has to be me doing it anyway.
Original poster
Beldb · 15/05/2021 14:03

I was assuming he's the father but even if he isn't he could still offer to help if he was her boyfriend/relative. Even if I didn't need help my husband would ask

OP posts:
Timper · 15/05/2021 14:04

@Beldb

I was assuming he's the father but even if he isn't he could still offer to help if he was her boyfriend/relative. Even if I didn't need help my husband would ask
Maybe he did - or have you had eyes on them constantly to know this definitely didn’t happen?
QueenAdreena · 15/05/2021 14:05

People probably would have thought this about my DH when ours were babies. What they wouldn’t have realised is that DC were exclusively breastfed and he didn’t stand a chance of being able to settle them. He would step in when they were happy and their bellies full and give me my break then. You shouldn’t judge because you don’t know the facts.

emilyfrost · 15/05/2021 14:05

Why does she need help? Confused What is it that she’s not doing that he can?

Norabatty40 · 15/05/2021 14:07

Ugh how judgemental.. people like this silently watching and judging.. mind your business.. thumbs down

PegPeople · 15/05/2021 14:07

@Beldb

I was assuming he's the father but even if he isn't he could still offer to help if he was her boyfriend/relative. Even if I didn't need help my husband would ask
Maybe he did ask, maybe he did the first part of the journey and they are taking it in turns, maybe baby will only settle for mum, maybe he gets travel sick...

Maybe it's one of the numerous legitimate reasons given on this thread or maybe he's an ignorate partner and a terrible father.

The simple fact is you cannot possibly know the answer unless you ask them so maybe you should find something else to occupy your journey?

Original poster
Beldb · 15/05/2021 14:08

@emilyfrost

Why does she need help? Confused What is it that she’s not doing that he can?
He could offer to hold the baby and give her a break.
OP posts:
oakleaffy · 15/05/2021 14:08

5 mins is nothing!
The hellion toddler that screamed from New York to Germany while his mother did nothing- that is a problem.
Not 5 minutes on a train-

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