Am I wrong to be upset I missed my son opening his birthday presents? 😭

[BellaFranksLily]

Its my sons 7th Birthday today. I was up late wrapping his presents, decorating and generally making it nice for him. I woke up to find my partner wasn’t next to me in bed, & went downstairs to find he had let my son open all of his presents without me. I’ve never missed any of my kids opening presents on Birthdays or Christmas. I’m not going to ruin today being upset, but was on the verge of tears when I realised. My son asked me where I was, and my partner is acting like it’s not a big deal. Feel gutted 😭

I don’t think there’s anything wrong with telling the 7 year old another day that you were sad to miss the present opening (not blaming the child). They have to learn about how to treat people otherwise they grow up to be thoughtless adults like the ops partner!

Ridiculous and nasty suggestion

it is neither nor ridiculous and nor is it dragging a child into an argument. I think it is perfectly valid to tell your child you were sad not to see them open their presents. And i case you couldn't read i did say not today

Most children would like their parents to see them open their presents, given most children are very "look at me look at me"

but you do you

That's awful op, I'd be so disappointed!

Yeah that's a digging up the patio offence
Yadnbu

If you don't ask your child why they didn't come and get you - you can find another way to let them know you'd like to see them open their presents, you can be sure you will miss other things. If your kids know that you're excited about them seeing what you got them (and maybe taking photos so they can remember it when they're older) then they'll either wait for you or come and get you.

Unless the people who object to that don't know how to talk to their children?

I can’t understand anyone who said YABU. This is awful of your partner.

Oh this was a really heartless thing to do. What a shit.

That is totally shit, your partner is a prick for doing that.

I would sooo upset. It's exciting for us as parents to see our kids happy opening their presents and to get photos. I would be RAGING actually now I think about it if my partner did that. Why couldn't he just wake you up, what an asshole.

Thanks for your comments everyone, it’s made me feel better as I was questioning myself. I’m making sure we have a lovely day regardless, and will speak to my partner about it when kids in bed. I’m so grateful for all your kind words & Xxxxx

Presumably he didn't approve of your 'lie-in' OP. Is he always this controlling?

That was deliberately horrid or so extremely self centred it needs tackling.

@Brefugee

Ridiculous and nasty suggestion

it is neither nor ridiculous and nor is it dragging a child into an argument. I think it is perfectly valid to tell your child you were sad not to see them open their presents. And i case you couldn't read i did say not today

Most children would like their parents to see them open their presents, given most children are very "look at me look at me"

but you do you

Yes she could say she was sad to miss it.

But you suggested asking him why he didn't wake her up - that's the bit people took issue with.

Yeh it was a shit thing to do- but he probably just didn't 'think'. I'd be pissed but ask him not to do it again- then if it ever does happen again I'd lose my shit with him 😅

HOWEVER

Suggesting it's a red flag is a bit OTT considering Px hasn't mentioned any previous concerns 🙄

Total shit, and very PA.

One small present to keep your DS quiet and let you have a lie-in? Fine. All the presents? Utter twattery.

Anyone would be upset- why is your partner so insensitive?
Sorry you missed that.
Can’t see why he would have done that to you.

[quote rwalker]@MournfulTromboneNoise
We did tea ,cards and presents it just wasn't OTT .[/quote]
So you do all that, but your children don't care if you're actually there and you're not bothered either?

As for OTT? Nothing the op describes is OTT in the slightest, so your comment is irrelevant. It's a basic of birthdays that both parents, living in the same house, get to see present opening of a young child.

Nasty, spiteful, shitty thing to do. I’d be heartbroken and I honestly don’t know if I could forgive this. I do the vast majority of the shopping and wrapping for my kids but I’d never let my husband miss them opening their gifts.

I'm a combination of very unsentimental and also only having my children with me 50% of the time so I naturally miss out on some stuff. I couldn't get too excited about an incident like this UNLESS it was part of a pattern of thoughtlessness, taking glory for your hard work, undermining you etc. If it was a one off and out of character, I'd say my piece that I was unhappy, did not want it to happen again and Id move on.

I would be speechless with rage, I’m so sorry OP. My DH can be thoughtless and lacking in empathy at times but even he would never do this.

@theleafandnotthetree

I'm a combination of very unsentimental and also only having my children with me 50% of the time so I naturally miss out on some stuff. I couldn't get too excited about an incident like this UNLESS it was part of a pattern of thoughtlessness, taking glory for your hard work, undermining you etc. If it was a one off and out of character, I'd say my piece that I was unhappy, did not want it to happen again and Id move on.

But that's not at all like the op's situation. This is a couple living together with their child. No excuses.

Yeah it’s mean! I’d be upset too.

That's is really shitty of him to do to that.if my kids bday falls on a week day and my husband is at work we don't open presents until he comes home after work I may buy a little present for them to open in the morning but all the other presents get left. I can see why you would be upset..

I would be seeeeeeeething. I probably wouldn't let it go either. Forever. What an arse

@ItsAllBlahBlahBlah

I would be seeeeeeeething. I probably wouldn't let it go either. Forever. What an arse

I agree. It would be very difficult to let this go and if he doesn't see what he's done wrong then he will just think this is petty. When it really isn't.