Am I wrong to be upset I missed my son opening his birthday presents? 😭

[BellaFranksLily]

Its my sons 7th Birthday today. I was up late wrapping his presents, decorating and generally making it nice for him. I woke up to find my partner wasn’t next to me in bed, & went downstairs to find he had let my son open all of his presents without me. I’ve never missed any of my kids opening presents on Birthdays or Christmas. I’m not going to ruin today being upset, but was on the verge of tears when I realised. My son asked me where I was, and my partner is acting like it’s not a big deal. Feel gutted 😭

@MimiDaisy11

I think it was thoughtless but the idea that he did it as some great punishment or deliberate act is too far to just assume without anything more.

Some people don't think things through and on going down to see their son eager to open their presents says to go ahead without much further thought.

I disagree.. he arranged nothing and did not help at all.. it was a cold calculated action designed to exclude OP and take credit for everything she had arranged.

It was deliberate. 🌸

I’d want to go and buy some more presents, some really good ones like a bike or something and give them to my son without my partner there if he had done this! The odd smaller present, fair enough. Say one from his favourite auntie or something. He could have made you a cup of tea and brought it up with a present for your child to open in bed with you.

I felt emosh just reading it. It's one of the magical moments of the year - let's face it 95% of parenting is just hard work. I would be upset and angry and you have done well to hold your tongue for the sake of your 7 Yr old.

Surprised at the extreme reactions. Child wanted to open the presents and you were asleep. I couldn’t get that upset about it, you obviously needed the rest. The main thing is him enjoying them, not really about the parents & find it petty about who did or didn’t wrap them.

@Blueink

Surprised at the extreme reactions. Child wanted to open the presents and you were asleep. I couldn’t get that upset about it, you obviously needed the rest. The main thing is him enjoying them, not really about the parents & find it petty about who did or didn’t wrap them.

obviously, there are those that really don't care, about seeing their child open gifts, but OP and most of us DO.

It's a shame you don't, but understand its not everyones priority.
🌸

All children want to open their presents. At 7 though he’s old enough to wait half an hour while his mum gets up.
Teaching some restraint around these kind of things is no bad thing.
At the end of the day, someone should have gone and got her. The end.

How rude he should have waited I would be fuming Tell him to do it himself next year all the work What a thoughtless person

What a total nob (or is that knob!), anyway he’s one! For some reason I think there’s an element of jealousy here... is your partner jealous of your relationship with your son and used this as a way of excluding you?

Maybe he didn’t want to try to stall a small child with a pile of presents.

There will be so many more firsts and special days/events to come. Don’t dwell - tell him that it bothered you and why, but don’t let it get to you.

He’s is not a small child! Three is a small child. Seven is old enough to be told, ‘hang on, let’s just go and get your mum’
I’m not blaming the son but he’s being used as and excuse for thoughtless behaviour.
They should have waited.

I don’t think your dh is a prick or an arse. You were up late doing work and he obviously knows this and he’s left you to have a well deserved lie in. Jeezo a lot of male bashing on here.

Next week have another longgggg lie in. He can do kids breakfast and you can rest x

BlueVelvet why do you assume I don’t care? I commented on the extreme reactions and pettiness over who did the wrapping. I said it’s about the child and he is 7. I haven’t missed any present opening because I’ve been up before, however it’s not the most important thing in life. The reactions of some others are extreme - psychopathic partner, LTB.

I think it's completely unreasonable to open birthday presents without both parents there - if they live together. We always did it as a whole family, with all gifts from siblings and cards sent from other relatives at the same time. Having said that, it couldn't have happened quite like this in our family because presents were always wrapped and hidden in our bedroom, so the child wouldn't see them until we produced them whenever we were ready.

Your parner is knob. You are not a knob. You are a very considerate person for not making a scene if front of your child.

Knobs will always be knobs I am afraid to say.

@Blueink

BlueVelvet why do you assume I don’t care? I commented on the extreme reactions and pettiness over who did the wrapping. I said it’s about the child and he is 7. I haven’t missed any present opening because I’ve been up before, however it’s not the most important thing in life. The reactions of some others are extreme - psychopathic partner, LTB.

I know right, I keep checking to see have I missed something from the OP to indicate this is a sign or a pattern of some deeply awful or abusive behaviour and I'm not seeing it. I am the first to admit I'm not really an occasion person, but even taking into account the perspective of friends I know who are, I don't know anyone who would have as extreme a reaction to this incident as most on here. There is a strong undercurrent here of seeing the mother as always and without context the most important parent, she who must be put first and foresmost in terms of the dreaded 'making memories'. I think at least some of this has more to do with ego, with performative parenting than anything else. I just cant wrap my head around the fuss people make around birthdays and Christmas, indeed some of the parents I know who make the biggest fuss about these things are by no means the best or most involved parents on a day to day basis (though they might be of course).

Selfish thoughtless and unkind!! Hmmm!

er i think id be having it out with him when son goes to bed !! what an arsehole.

He's stayed in bed some Christmasses

OP why are you with this scumbag?