Am I wrong to be upset I missed my son opening his birthday presents? 😭

[BellaFranksLily]

Its my sons 7th Birthday today. I was up late wrapping his presents, decorating and generally making it nice for him. I woke up to find my partner wasn’t next to me in bed, & went downstairs to find he had let my son open all of his presents without me. I’ve never missed any of my kids opening presents on Birthdays or Christmas. I’m not going to ruin today being upset, but was on the verge of tears when I realised. My son asked me where I was, and my partner is acting like it’s not a big deal. Feel gutted 😭

That was a mean and selfish thing to do. And now he is too chicken to admit it. I hope you managed to have a good day in spite of your partner’s rotten actions.

Ooooh I'd be furious! I wouldn't make a fuss in front of my child but my dh would get serious grief in private. YANBU at ALL!

I would be furious!

Our kids are older teens and we all are up early for birthdays to open gifts together.

I would eat his share of cake ( dick )

Your partner shouldn’t have done this. I’d be very annoyed and definitely would let him know (when son not around.)

Just why does he think that was ok? I bet there are other dysfunctional issues that you don’t even realise are problems. No one decent would do this.

I would be fuming. Especially if you are anything like this household your partner would have had 0 to do with buying the presents/no input in them. I like to see the reactions to my gifts.

Utterly shitty. I probably would have ruined the day by crying if this happened in my house. My kids are grown up now but we still have a rule for occasions that no one opens a present until mum is on the sofa with a cuppa ready to observe and enjoy proceedings. I'm the epitome of that meme of the kid in the dressing gown with the mug of tea! I would have a very stern word with your OH. Really thoughtless behaviour and it needs to be addressed.

I’d be gutted too op, what a nasty thing of your DP to do.

If that was my dp he knows he would be on the sofa for a month. We have a rule that everyone is up and on the room when cards and presents are open. I suggest Christmas morning you let him sleep in and open presents with the kids. Bet he would be angry missing out. Even more so if he bought them wrapped them and spent ages organising it all

That was a really mean thing to do.
Does he do this for every birthday?

You need to tell him how thoughtless he is and then tell him again several more times until he actually understands.

I felt really sad reading this, I hope you’re okay this evening sending you big hugs xx

Your partner is a piece of shit.

Sorry OP.

What a horrible, horrible man :( sorry!

Also, show him this thread if he doesn’t think it’s a big deal.

It was a spiteful, selfish, thoughtless thing to allow to happen.

Thoughtless in the 'should have thought it through sense'. After the 1st present being opened in the heat of the moment, your DP should have said 'Whoa - all up to the bedroom to wake Mummy and open the rest of the presents'.

I'd be having harsh words with DP over this, even if he minimises and refuses to apologise, leave him in no doubt he's been a heartless thoughtless prick.

Let him know next year - all the gift buying, wrapping is on him and most importantly follow through. It the only way thoughtless idiots learn.

Also gently, in a day or 2's time, let your DS know that in future, he waits until the whole family are there before he opens his presents. He needs to know this too

It was a dirty trick done to hurt you. Does he usually show such a mean streak? Are you being "punished" for something?

@NewlyGranny

It was a dirty trick done to hurt you. Does he usually show such a mean streak? Are you being "punished" for something?

There is NO way it wasn't deliberate.

I hope the OP gets that.

He did this deliberate.

The question is why.

I couldn't live with someone who could be so nasty.

I hope she gets it and protects herself.

Nasty....

Do the same to him on Christmas Day, see if he likes it!

@60sbird

My son will be 37 this year and I still need to see him on his birthday to open his gift from me, our youngest is 18 but I’ve always waited until my partner is awake and then we give him his gifts together, I feel your pain, that’s such a shitty thing to do

WTF? I haven't seen my parents on my birthday since I was about 18 or so. Well I cant remember exactly because it's a fucking birthday, everyone has one and I'm a grown up. I honestly don't know how some people on this thread mamage to navigate life and its vicissitudes if things like birthdays and imperfect celebrating of same assume such enormous inportance

@skeemee

My first LTB. What a selfish selfish toad.

Seriously? The apalling situations Ive read about here and this is your first LTB. I hope you're joking

@1forAll74

Just one of life's little disappointments. I am sure your Son loved all his presents though.

Agreed, and it is about the child afterall is it not.

@Ilovemaisie

Hmmm.... I don't think this is a huge issue and worth getting so upset about. The child is 7. He would have been very excited. He wouldn't have cared if the presents are wrapped all nicely and fancy...he wants what is inside. If it would have been me I would have said in an excited voice "Oh wow what did you get? What does this toy do? Lets look at your cards. Ooh I like this card from Aunty" and let the child get all excited and tell me about them. By the way it's my birthday today. My husband got me some very nice presents but he didn't wrap them - just left them in the bags they came in. Should I LTB ?

Well, my children like us all to share the excitement of the morning, as do DH and I.

If you’re ok with unwrapped gifts then fine. To me, gift wrap (or at least put in a fancy bag) shows you’re willing to make a tiny effort to make things that little bit more special for the one you love. Husband and I buy small gifts for one another all the time. Special occasions they get wrapped. It’s an occasion.

I think it was thoughtless but the idea that he did it as some great punishment or deliberate act is too far to just assume without anything more.

Some people don't think things through and on going down to see their son eager to open their presents says to go ahead without much further thought.