Am I wrong to be upset I missed my son opening his birthday presents? 😭

[BellaFranksLily]

Its my sons 7th Birthday today. I was up late wrapping his presents, decorating and generally making it nice for him. I woke up to find my partner wasn’t next to me in bed, & went downstairs to find he had let my son open all of his presents without me. I’ve never missed any of my kids opening presents on Birthdays or Christmas. I’m not going to ruin today being upset, but was on the verge of tears when I realised. My son asked me where I was, and my partner is acting like it’s not a big deal. Feel gutted 😭

Insensitive twat.

Well I don't think you'll level it up if you were to do the same thing back to him, ie: opening your childs presents without him next year, because he clearly doesn't place the same importance on family events as you do.
You do all the prep for all birthdays and events, I'm presuming?

No, the only way these types get upset is when it is their birthday, their father's day or their Christmas presents.

I suggest Father's day should go like this: Oh dear little 'Jonny' forget to get you a present I know he's only 7 but I did remind him.
Repeat with birthday and possibly Christmas, if he complains just say you will get him something after the event and you didn't think he was that arsed with the 'special' times in life.

But then again I'm spiteful

Also, @rwalker you've managed to included 3 different posts, 2 not mine in the post you've tagged me in.

In your rush to critique our replies you haven't bothered to CLEARLY format your response. Something to work on, to occupy your time next time you're ignoring your kid's birthdays?

Yep not good.

Who’s voting YABU??! You are absolutely NOT BU. That’s awful, I would be so sad and angry in your shoes.

I still get the rage thinking about how DS aged 3 was allowed by the PILs to open his main Xmas present from without me there. I was so excited to see his face when he opened something he had longed for but didn’t know he was getting. I never realised until I was a parent how much pleasure I would get from seeing my own dc enjoy their birthdays and Christmas, nor how special their birthdays would be for me.

Did you tell your dh or child the night before to wait and wake you up before opening gifts? If not I don't think you can get mad next year your child may wake up and open everything before either of you go down what my ds did last year, you other choice is dont leave them out and bring them out when you are all up would save all this drama over nothing,

OH MY GOD I'd be so livid. DH once let DC open one stocking present without waking me and I wasn't pleased. Did he do this deliberately or is he really that gormless?

Just one of life's little disappointments. I am sure your Son loved all his presents though.

That is really wrong. I get such pleasure from seeing my kid’s faces. They have always known not to touch anything without me, maybe I was not as magnanimous as you. I think you are doing the right thing by not letting your son know because of course he is not at fault, but I would let rip at your twat of a husband.

I think he did it deliberately too, as he has form for it, basking in the glory whilst making none of the effort.

Don’t just speak to him, read him the riot act.

I bet you also make lots of effort for his birthday and he barely bothers with yours.

@1forAll74

Just one of life's little disappointments. I am sure your Son loved all his presents though.

Yes shame her dh turned out the way he did.

It’s DS’s birthday today. DH and I are going through a rocky period and I did 80% of the birthday admin.

But when DS was up early this morning I let him have a look at his presents. Have a cuddle. And help me put pain au chocolats in the oven for breakfast. So nothing was opened until DH surfaced.

They only get that pure joy for such a short window.

That was horrible and he should have sent your 7 year old in to wake you. That would have worked!

Something very off and strange about the this op, I don't know why he's done it but either through as someone said a pa punishment, or just a lack of connection to you, something emotionally distant there.

I would have been really upset too. To me you do presents as a family, as soon as it looks like a present is going to be opened then you’d wake up the sleeping partner!

Give him both barrels OP. Selfish prick..

It's really shit, I'm sorry that it's happened to you.

I wouldn't make a child wait to open presents, but I'd definitely send the child upstairs to wake the other parent up!

And the fact that he's pretending that it's no big deal rather than apologising suggests that it wasn't done thoughtlessly, it was done spitefully.

I would have been really upset, too. Especially because my DDs would have wanted both DH and me to watch them open their presents and would have woken me up. The OP’s DP must have actively stopped their DS from waking her up to share in that moment, which he must have known would upset her.

There’s no suggestion that the OP was particularly tired and wanted to be left alone to sleep in, which no loving mum would want to do rather than watch one of their children open their birthday presents!

@MournfulTromboneNoise
read my replies back twice and can't find where I said we ignore our children birthdays

The OP asked a question my response no because we don't make a big deal of them

got slagged off for not making a big deal responded to MY post pointing out many people don't bother about birthdays and use faiths as an example

Sorry lesson learnt just agree with Op and don't offer different opinion .

I won't be investing in this thread anymore

This happened here last year. A lockdown birthday, and I'd also got something small for the non-birthday kids (which I don't normally do).

I did all the work - planning, choosing, buying, wrapping - and he gave them to the kids to open before I got up.

He got all the pleasure of seeing their reactions. I know exactly how hurt you are.

I know I'll be accused of being dramatic, but was one of the most hurtful things anyone has ever done to me. I felt erased from my own family.

We had a lot of words about it. He apologised profusely. I still can't believe he was so thoughtless

[quote rwalker]@MournfulTromboneNoise
read my replies back twice and can't find where I said we ignore our children birthdays

The OP asked a question my response no because we don't make a big deal of them

got slagged off for not making a big deal responded to MY post pointing out many people don't bother about birthdays and use faiths as an example

Sorry lesson learnt just agree with Op and don't offer different opinion .

I won't be investing in this thread anymore[/quote]
"Personally I would of enjoyed the lie in and our kids wouldn't of been bothered in the slightest ."

All you do is a card and presents and you're happy to sleep through it and your kids aren't bothered. Have your differing opinion but you seem to think OP is the weirdo here.

Invested is a strong term.

I don't blame you for being upset. What a thoughtless, unkind thing to do.

Yeah I’d have been upset too, a really thoughtless thing to do.

That's awful, I'd have been gutted too

I am furious for you. Your DP is a dick.

I would have been so upset too.