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Original poster

Am I wrong to be upset I missed my son opening his birthday presents? 😭

320 replies

BellaFranksLily · 15/05/2021 12:37

Its my sons 7th Birthday today. I was up late wrapping his presents, decorating and generally making it nice for him. I woke up to find my partner wasn’t next to me in bed, & went downstairs to find he had let my son open all of his presents without me. I’ve never missed any of my kids opening presents on Birthdays or Christmas. I’m not going to ruin today being upset, but was on the verge of tears when I realised. My son asked me where I was, and my partner is acting like it’s not a big deal. Feel gutted 😭

OP posts:
Bertiebiscuit · 16/05/2021 17:48

Why are you even with this selfish uncaring nasty piece of work - bad news for you AND your child

SunshineCake · 16/05/2021 17:50

@Ilovemaisie

Hmmm.... I don't think this is a huge issue and worth getting so upset about. The child is 7. He would have been very excited. He wouldn't have cared if the presents are wrapped all nicely and fancy...he wants what is inside. If it would have been me I would have said in an excited voice "Oh wow what did you get? What does this toy do? Lets look at your cards. Ooh I like this card from Aunty" and let the child get all excited and tell me about them. By the way it's my birthday today. My husband got me some very nice presents but he didn't wrap them - just left them in the bags they came in. Should I LTB ?
He should leave you.
ThumbWitchesAbroad · 16/05/2021 17:54

This would really annoy me.

I doubt it would happen though because my poor kids have been trained from the off to wait until I'm up and about before opening any presents, mostly because I have to link up to the family/friends in the UK via Skype or similar, so they can be part of it too. So even if DH "let" them, they wouldn't do it because they know the score - and that I'd be really upset if they did it without me/ family on Skype.

Some may think that takes all the fun out of it - I know DH does - but the boys like their UK family to be involved too, so they're fine with waiting until they can be got online.

When we were kids, my Dad liked to film the present opening on cine film (yes, I'm that old) which involved the careful setting up of the 500W light, and us being wary of knocking into it. So we were "stage managed" with our present opening too - although we did get to open our stockings when we woke up, as they were at the foot of our beds.

Nothing wrong with getting kids to wait to open their presents.

NewlyGranny · 16/05/2021 17:56

We had a family tradition of opening presents in our room on birthday mornings, on the bed, and everyone piled in. We even did it for separate birthday presents for our Christmas Day baby, separate from the under-the-tree event later.

You could start this by hiding the presents under your side of the bed in future!

PufferFish · 16/05/2021 17:58

No you aren’t being unreasonable.

My husband took it upon himself to tell our two children that we were expecting again and also that my Mum (their Nan) had died.

I was raging to be excluded from such important moments. Sometimes people can be so bloody thoughtless.

I’m glad to hear that you’re still enjoying the day 💐

Fromthebirdsnest · 16/05/2021 18:03

I'd be absolutely furious ... Book an afternoon tea with a mate he can pay to make it up to you, .. At least your son will have a nice day regardless but extreamly shody behaviour on your dh part!

WeeMadArthur · 16/05/2021 18:06

If he is adamant when you speak to him that it’s not a big deal and you are making a fuss out of nothing then I would be playing the long game. Wait till Christmas morning and let the children open all their presents whilst he’s still in bed. Tell him it’s not a big deal.

LyndaSnellMBE · 16/05/2021 18:14

YANBU. I would be LIVID. Mine are late teens and we still open all our presents as a family.

honeybee88 · 16/05/2021 18:20

Next year you hide the presents. Theybonly get opened qhen you are up. Or get up quietly super early and open them while your partner is asleep. You cant turn back the time so dont be upset any more. As long as your son enjoyed opening them. But your partner is so wrong in what he done.

LifesTooShortForYourNonsense · 16/05/2021 18:28

I’m not worried about this. He was probably just excited to open his presents. Hope you had a nice rest of the day.

BlueVelvetStars · 16/05/2021 18:31

@BellaFranksLily

How are you today 🌸

WeAllHaveWings · 16/05/2021 18:32

@WeeMadArthur

If he is adamant when you speak to him that it’s not a big deal and you are making a fuss out of nothing then I would be playing the long game. Wait till Christmas morning and let the children open all their presents whilst he’s still in bed. Tell him it’s not a big deal.
this is dreadful advice to hold a long term grudge and seek revenge in a relationship 🙄 .

Speak to him and find out why he did it. I cannot think of a single valid reason for what he has done.

SD1978 · 16/05/2021 18:43

Not wrong at all. Well done for not letting it spoil your sons day- as that would be crap for him, but your partner has been a selfish shit. If he doesn't realise this is a crappy thing to do, then good luck talking to him.

ilovesushi · 16/05/2021 18:47

You have every right to be upset. I hope you managed to have a good rest of the day though. xxxxxxxxx

60sbird · 16/05/2021 18:55

My son will be 37 this year and I still need to see him on his birthday to open his gift from me, our youngest is 18 but I’ve always waited until my partner is awake and then we give him his gifts together, I feel your pain, that’s such a shitty thing to do

GreyStep · 16/05/2021 18:56

Your partner is a proper arsehole for that and wanted to take credit for all your hard work. Who the fuck does that? It would have me reassessing the rest of my relationship now.
I’m sorry it is shit

Beyondridiculous · 16/05/2021 18:59

It’s not OTT to suggest it’s a red flag, this is a red flag purely because it’s not “just a lie in” he knew it was his sons birthday, presumably didn’t help with decorating and gave a piss poor excuse. Put it this way you have about 11 birthdays max for kids as past a certain age the magic will fade. It’s shitty and to say someone didn’t think, while watching a child open presents is just making allowances

Peace43 · 16/05/2021 18:59

Wow he’s a shit!

Cas112 · 16/05/2021 19:00

No normal person would do that, that’s a nasty thing to do

bonbonours · 16/05/2021 19:03

I would be furious. As said by someone else in our house nobody opens presents until everyone is up (even the grumpy teenager is made to get up early on other people's birthdays....)

MmeLaraque · 16/05/2021 19:13

@WeeMadArthur

If he is adamant when you speak to him that it’s not a big deal and you are making a fuss out of nothing then I would be playing the long game. Wait till Christmas morning and let the children open all their presents whilst he’s still in bed. Tell him it’s not a big deal.
I like this one. WOuldn;t do it (couldn't, because we just wait until everyone is awake before gifts are unwrapped), just wanted to say "GNU".

Salt, please.

Jock Grin

Doris86 · 16/05/2021 19:18

Tried to wake you? All he needs to do is say to your son ‘you can open presents once Mum is up’. Your son will be jumping on your bed within 5 seconds.

This is a pretty unanimous YANBU.

Toomuchtrouble4me · 16/05/2021 19:51

OMG!!!
I would be FURIOUS! That would upset me so much, I don’t think I’d ever forgive.

2ddandabump · 16/05/2021 19:53

Things like this are the nicer side of parenting and you should have been included, it's just so obvious it shouldn't have been something you have had to point out after the event, especially after 6 previous birthdays!

Localocal · 16/05/2021 20:02

That's an awful thing to do. I'm so sorry for you. I would be furious and gutted at the same time.