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To think ds was entitled to say the teacher was wrong

139 replies

challengerequired · 14/05/2021 23:21

Ds has an EHCP and as a consequence has a teaching assistant in some lessons.
Today this teaching assistant kept him behind after one lesson because ds had told her that he thought her answer to a question was wrong. She told him never to do that again, as it would confuse the girl next to him.
Aibu to be annoyed? 1 - because I think she's his TA so the other girl doesn't really come into it
2 - because a child should not be discouraged from challenging opinions? I think she should have used it as an opportunity to ask him why he thought she was wrong - get a conversation out of it?

OP posts:

dementedpixie · 14/05/2021 23:25

My ds has told teachers they were wrong before and they had been. Surely it's better for other pupils that wrong info is challenged so everyone isn't taught the wrong thing


Scramblerr · 14/05/2021 23:26

  1. Is she a TA or an LSA?

2. It depends what the question and answer was?
3. What did it have to do with the girl next to him?
There's nowhere near enough information on what actually happened to know whether this is unreasonable behaviour or not.

Flanjango · 14/05/2021 23:26

Telling a child not to question is wrong. With some diagnoses this should be expected, no idea why he has ehcp but if it's a factor covered within it I would request a meeting to discuss the issue, not following the ehcp will make it pointless even with one to one.


NuffSaidSam · 14/05/2021 23:28

Was she wrong? Was it a question with a right answer, like a maths question, or more of an opinion based question.

Did he say quietly to the TA that it was wrong or was he troubling the person next to him.

Have you spoken to the TA or do you only have DS's word on what happened?

It sounds like there is more to it than he simply said 'I think that's wrong'.


Casmama · 14/05/2021 23:31

It doesn't sound like you have the full story here.


a8mint · 14/05/2021 23:32

I am guessing it was more about HOW he said it


MIC2689 · 14/05/2021 23:36

Have you spoken to the TA? Hard to know whether YABU with the amount of information you've posted.


PollyPepper · 14/05/2021 23:36


I am guessing it was more about HOW he said it

I would think you don't have the full story.

Greenmarmalade · 14/05/2021 23:36

You’re totally right. But it could be that the conversation after class was more than this one detail?

Either way, you can discuss it with your child and if it comes up again, email the school gif clarification.


Greenmarmalade · 14/05/2021 23:36



FrangipaniDeLaSqueegeeMop · 14/05/2021 23:39

I'm a teacher. I don't mind being told I'm wrong but I do expect them to explain why. I would never say it's something they shouldn't do. On the contrary - it's good to challenge and speak up as long as it's done respectfully


Jobsharenightmare · 15/05/2021 00:03

My step child's teacher was apparently embarrassed by it being pointed out that they (teacher) was spelling potato incorrectly (potatoe). I still remember it being noted in the homework book "potatoe has an e at the end". My step child kept spelling it (and other words correctly), getting "corrected" and TA told me that it was challenged in the class once and it embarrassed the teacher.

Teachers can be wrong. There isn't always an answer a child can give as to why "um because that's not how you spell it Miss".

I wonder too what the context was in your case though.


SallyLovesCheese · 15/05/2021 00:14

It does depend on how it was said and when. Perhaps the TA was explaining something to the girl and he interrupted, breaking the flow of explanation?

But everyone should learn to be okay with being told they're wrong. As a teacher, I hope I model reasonable ways to tell someone they're wrong and how to have a polite discussion about it if there's disagreement. I also hope I model how to accept it when someone points out you're wrong!


user1473878824 · 15/05/2021 01:24


I am guessing it was more about HOW he said it

This in spades.

georgarina · 15/05/2021 01:37

Too little information here but in general yes I think it's definitely acceptable to correct a teacher. I remember when I was around 8 correcting something that was spelled wrong on the board and the teacher rubbed it out; then later I pointed out something else and she got annoyed and told me to stop.

It's hard because when you're a student you're just learning everything so you're going to point out something that's not the way you learned - not disrespectfully but because you're just learning it yourself. I was an enthusiastic learner but felt most of the time that it wasn't appreciated and I was told to be quiet (ie. 'Can someone raise their hand - not you'). It's a shame because it taught me at a young age not to be too 'annoying,' ie. enthusiastic, and that being advanced in a particular area was 'showing off.' Which is the opposite of how I think school should be - even if it can be annoying sometimes for an adult.


DrinkFeckArseBrick · 15/05/2021 02:55

It depends how it was done. Questioning how they came to a decision or asking 'what about' or 'my take on it is x, what do you think' or something is ok. Saying 'you're wrong!' or laughing about it etc wouldn't be ok. Also depends on context eg a maths question needs correcting but an opinion based thing needs adding to.


Mintsmints · 15/05/2021 03:21

My DH is a teacher he was selling me today he got something wrong and was pulled up by a kid. He has laughed told the kid well done and said it just shows everyone makes mistakes even us fantastic teachers. The class had laughed and then they carried one.


Itsallok · 15/05/2021 03:37

Need a fuller story - and more context


Someoneonlyyouknow · 15/05/2021 04:00

Depends on the circumstances, including ds age etc. He's not "entitled" to point out an error rudely or to disrupt other pupils' learning.


EpitomeOfIndifference · 15/05/2021 04:03

I’m another who would assume/hope(!) it was more about how it was brought up rather than that he thought she was wrong.

I’m a teacher and I LIKE being questioned by the students (politely and on topic, of course). It means they’re thinking. If I am indeed wrong I am happy to admit it and we talk about the benefits of checking your work even if you think you’ve done everything correctly (I teach maths). If the student is incorrect it gives me insight into their thought process and then I can help correct them so they don’t make the same mistake again. Win-win situation.

I would wonder if there was more to the situation than you know.


steff13 · 15/05/2021 04:12

He thought she was wrong - was she wrong? I can see why she wouldn't want him to challenge her in front of another pupil, especially if he was wrong. He could have discussed it with her after class.


RantyAnty · 15/05/2021 04:27

Time and place.

It's ok to point something but it's not ok to blurt things out or embarrass someone in front of others.

I reckon many have been pulled up at work in front of everyone and how you felt.


challengerequired · 15/05/2021 04:45

I agree with all of you that I need to find out more about context, tone etc
But I still think even without that that for her to say that he should never challenge her again, or for him to have got that message, is wrong - if it was how he spoke then that should have been addressed, not the challenge in principle

OP posts:

KarmaNoMore · 15/05/2021 05:08

Perhaps she didn’t say that either, check you have the 2 versions before complaining. If the way of saying it was rude, she may have been referring to not being challenged again in such inconsiderate manner.


custardbear · 15/05/2021 05:11

What was the question and answer situation?

I'd also assume it was the tone too - but also I'd query if it was something where they part teach you something such as the TCA cycle in GCSE is only touched on, they explain more in A level then degree they tell you everything ... could it be this where they're not explaining the whole thing because it's too advanced at that stage and would be confusing?
Definitely should be encouraged to challenge though, but in the correct manner of course

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