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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Guests bringing dog to stay

281 replies

Vetyveriohohoh · 13/05/2021 18:18

As a dog owner, if you were going to stay at someone’s house would you assume your dog would go to? Would that change if the house you were visiting also had their own dog?

DH and I disagree... need outside help please

OP posts:
Blondiney · 13/05/2021 19:31

I'd assume dogs weren't invited but would be thrilled if they were.

Mylittleponysuperfan · 13/05/2021 19:32

My kids-no I wouldn’t expect them to ask-I know their dogs come with them

Anyone else-yes I would

Dogs are always welcome as I’m a massive dog lover but I’d feel put out if they just showed up with one

Mulhollandmagoo · 13/05/2021 19:32

Strangely I'd be less likely to take my dog if there is another dog in the house, because it can be a complete nightmare if they don't get along! My dog would absolutely hate another dog in his home, he'd be terrified and spend the whole time.hid under the table and I wouldn't out him through that. Could you suggest a nearby dog friendly air BnB or the like?

mumsiedarlingrevolta · 13/05/2021 19:32

We have very very good friends who are amazing hosts.

They have a dog and invited us for dinner party and to stay the night (live about an hour and a half away) and included our dog in the invitation.

We brought her-she was quite a young pup at the time and a very sweet and very sociable girl. Unfortunately we have wood floors throughout and she clearly thought the lovely coir carpet was grass and pooed on their stairs.

We will be leaving her home next time...

rosesandbees · 13/05/2021 19:33

We used to have friends staying with their dogs but now we have a dog that doesn’t like other dogs so can no longer do it. I would never assume I could take my dogs I would always be prepared to make alternative arrangements.

GETTINGLIKEMYMOTHER · 13/05/2021 19:33

When we had a dog, I’d never have gone to stay with anyone who wouldn’t have accepted her. Though having said that, anyone we were ever sufficiently friendly with, to be asked to stay, would have been dog friendly.

People who dislike dogs have never been much more than mere acquaintances to me.

JeanClaudeVanDammit · 13/05/2021 19:33

As a non dog owner it wouldn't even occur to me that someone would want to bring a dog, so I wouldn't make it clear in the invitation as I would assume they'd make other arrangements for their pets

Same, it wouldn’t occur to me in a million years someone might rock up with their dog in tow. Confused

Fros · 13/05/2021 19:33

The people who would invite me to stay know I'm unlikely to stay away overnight if the dogs can't join me (I've always had at least one dog).
If I extend an invite, I either ask about what arrangements would work regarding pet/s, or make it clear that they will not be able to bring their pet/s - something like "If you can arrange a pet sitter, are you free on x weekend?"
You can manage multiple pets in one household that don't get along, so long as you have doors, but it's lots of faff, and everyone has to be on board with the arrangements.
If I'd got either a young pet or recently rehomed an older pet, I wouldn't be leaving them for a weekend unless it was an emergency.
However I'm the kind of person who when moving house had a max distance from a park/the vets I'd consider, and a secure yard was a necessity; I wouldn't book a holiday if I couldn't take the dogs; I took a less advantageous job where I don't need to leave them alone for too long; and I have made arrangements should I pass away or otherwise be unable to look after them
Dogs/pets are not people (and I hate "dog mum" nonsense), however I'm responsible for them for the whole of their lives, they can't advocate for themselves, can't choose to leave, etc. so I choose to live my life accordingly

Disfordarkchocolate · 13/05/2021 19:34

I'd expect a specific invitation for the dog first, otherwise I'd assume the dog wasn't welcome and I'd have no problem with that.

WhySoSensitive · 13/05/2021 19:36

Nope, I would assume the dog isn’t invited and would ask specifically.

I have a friend though who goes absolutely everywhere with her dog, and she would firmly be in the assumption the dog is coming too, as it’s ‘part of her’

Fourmagpies · 13/05/2021 19:37

Ddog is part of our family. When visiting family (all dog lovers) I wouldn't expect to leave him at home if we were visiting for a few hours. I wouldn't take him when visiting friends unless they specifically said to bring him. When staying for a couple of nights, I'd expect family to allow me to bring him but would check that was okay and we'd more than likely organise other accommodation nearby so we could take him.

BoringBettie · 13/05/2021 19:38

I would assume my dog wasn’t invited

Unsure33 · 13/05/2021 19:39

I would always check and bring a cage for sleeping in if the host wanted us to .

Hoppinggreen · 13/05/2021 19:41

I assume no unless ddog is specifically invited and I would assume guests wouldnt bring a dog here unless I told them they could (they can’t due to the cats)

mumonthehill · 13/05/2021 19:41

We have friends that come and stay and always bring their dog even though ds is allergic, they are always slightly bemused when I ask them to keep the dog in the kitchen and not allow him the run of the house. I love seeing them but do find it stressful that they assume the dog is welcome and poor ds spends the whole time sneezing!!!

TabithaTiger · 13/05/2021 19:41

I would assume the dog wasn't invited, unless I was going to my parents as I know they are always happen for him to stay.

I wouldn't really want someone else's dog staying in my house either, even though I have my own.

Kitfish · 13/05/2021 19:42

All my friends with dogs just assume their dogs will come too when they come to stay - they are part of their family. Rather like assuming you'd bring your kids. So, yes I'd assume they would bring their dogs as default and, no, I would not assume I had to ask to bring my dog if I was invited to stay.

Tambora · 13/05/2021 19:42

We once had some workmen in the house, and I popped to the shop up the road for some milk. When I got back another workman had turned up and his dog was running in and out of the back door and round my back garden.

I was absolutely livid. Especially since I had 3 cats at the time.

Peace43 · 13/05/2021 19:42

I’d assume dog was invited if it was family. For friends I’d probably assume not unless offered. I might ask if it is really an issue to leave dog at home.

NeverAgain123456 · 13/05/2021 19:44

My MIL used to visit with her two dogs. I’m a dog lover but don’t have one myself. I hated it! Used to almost make me ill before she visit. My beautiful clean home felt like a skip by the time she left and took me days to clean. Mostly my poor mental health but she really should have asked.

Dobbyafreeelf · 13/05/2021 19:45

Completely depends on who it is!
Tbh I think most of my friends and family like my dogs more than me so I'd be in trouble if they didn't come!
That said if I was remotely unsure about it I would check or casually comment about not leaving the dogs too long.
But I wouldn't stay anywhere where they didn't already know the dogs or somewhere I don't know well.

Slippy78 · 13/05/2021 19:45

I wouldn't assume anything, I'd ask.

CaptainAwkward · 13/05/2021 19:49

It’s only acceptable if it’s a guide dog or you live in a Mitford novel.
I’m a dog owner.

picturesandpickles · 13/05/2021 19:49

No, would never have assumed when we had dogs and would be pretty Confused if someone turned up at my house with their dog in tow.

Naillig222 · 13/05/2021 19:49

I would be a bit taken aback if a guest asked if their dog could come, nevermind presuming it could.