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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Guests bringing dog to stay

281 replies

Vetyveriohohoh · 13/05/2021 18:18

As a dog owner, if you were going to stay at someone’s house would you assume your dog would go to? Would that change if the house you were visiting also had their own dog?

DH and I disagree... need outside help please

OP posts:
GroovyClementine · 13/05/2021 18:55

My MIL came to visit once.

She left the dog at home but did kindly bring it's fleas with her.

Now, there is something you don't want, believe me.

Delatron · 13/05/2021 18:56

So rude! I would assume not invited unless specifically asked and I would never be so cheeky as to ask as puts the host in an awkward position.

Pinkpaisley · 13/05/2021 18:58

Non-dog owner here. When I invite you to my home I am inviting the humans.

Unless you have a service animal it is not welcome at my home and honestly, I’d like to discuss that because I have some pretty bad allergies and a visit in my home may not be the best idea. We might be better off visiting in a more neutral space (which I will likely offer to pay for).

TolkiensFallow · 13/05/2021 18:59

I’m just wondering how many of the commenters have dogs?

OP if you have dogs, I understand the issue but if you don’t...I think it’s a bit odd to expect her to put the dog in kennels at expense to her and stress to the dog.

emilyfrost · 13/05/2021 18:59

Dogs don’t get an automatic invite.

If they turned up with the animal I’d just turn them away 🤷‍♀️

emilyfrost · 13/05/2021 19:00

@TolkiensFallow

I’m just wondering how many of the commenters have dogs?

OP if you have dogs, I understand the issue but if you don’t...I think it’s a bit odd to expect her to put the dog in kennels at expense to her and stress to the dog.

Why is that odd? OP didn’t choose to have the animal so she shouldn’t have to put up with it.
MikeWozniaksGloriousTache · 13/05/2021 19:00

Staying at parents house I wouldn’t ask because they would demand to bring ddog Grin however we now know he and their mate dog try to kill each other when they’re together so we don’t do that anymore.

Anyone else I probably wouldn’t assume and look for a dog sitter (usually PiLs as they love having the dog).

Original poster
Vetyveriohohoh · 13/05/2021 19:01

@Screwcorona DH thinks it’ll will all be fine and he’s a total conflict avoider. He has no plan b.

In terms of them rejecting invite- they’ve asked to come, haven’t seen grandkids since last summer so up to them I guess.

OP posts:
OhTheIronyOfItAll · 13/05/2021 19:01

I never took our dog to stay at anyone else’s house. I would never assumed she was invited and, on the couple of occasions people did say we could take her, we still left her with DM.

Original poster
Vetyveriohohoh · 13/05/2021 19:02

@TolkiensFallow We do have a dog, I believe that’s why they assume it’s ok. He’s lovely and gentle but very excitable with other dogs. He’s never met this one (covid) and has never had another dog in his space for more than a few hours.

OP posts:
redcandlelight · 13/05/2021 19:02

I'm not a dog owner and would be absolutely pissed off with a guest who brought a dog for a visit without asking.

MadMadMadamMim · 13/05/2021 19:03

No, I wouldn't assume.

I would probably ask, Is it ok to bring the dog? I wouldn't have a problem if they said they'd rather we didn't.

It's more convenient to us to take the dog - but I appreciate not everyone wants them, and I could get DD to dogsit if necessary.

LST · 13/05/2021 19:03

Family yes. Friends no, I'd check first.

Rewis · 13/05/2021 19:04

I would expect a visitor to come with their dog. Assuming I knew the person and I knew they had a dog. I think if they were close enough to spend the weekend then me liking dogs would have come up and it being welcome would have been semi discussed without being asked. If I had a dog then it would really depend on the dogs and if they get along. If this person was visiting for the first time and we had never talked about me liking/disliking dogs then I would expect them to ask.

osbertthesyrianhamster · 13/05/2021 19:04

Would never assume.

GingerAndTheBiscuits · 13/05/2021 19:06

I would always check first and make other arrangements if dog wasn’t able to come.

Sounds like DH isn’t going to speak up though, so you may want to invest in some stair gates to keep the dogs separated in case they don’t get on. Nothing worse than being stuck with two stressed dogs late in the evening and no way to keep them apart

MyDogIsDrivingMeMad · 13/05/2021 19:07

You never know how two dogs will react to one another, especially if one is "intruding" into the other's territory.

I'd never assume my dog was invited anywhere. Your husband needs to avoid a lot of potential trouble and actually speak to her about it. He can ask what her plans are for her dog during her visit, if she has someone scheduled to dog-sit or has booked a kennel. It's better to figure it out now than be forced into an awkward situation at the last moment!

Mol1628 · 13/05/2021 19:07

I don’t take my dog to other peoples houses. I wouldn’t expect her to be able to come and if someone said she was welcome I would be grateful but probably make other arrangements so she could stay home.

GameSetMatch · 13/05/2021 19:07

It depends who I was visiting, my brother or parents I’d take the dog without asking. my DH families side I’d have to ask, I wouldn’t presume.

TolkiensFallow · 13/05/2021 19:07

@Vetyveriohohoh I get that then! It’s puts quite a lot of pressure for the dogs to get along.

Have you ever taken your dog to stay at MIL’s? If you have she might automatically assume it was reciprocal. If she’s a new dog owner she probably hasn’t realised issue of 2 dogs colliding!

You probably know this but it’s good to introduce dogs outside on neutral territory. We always introduce ours to new dogs (even visiting dogs) by going for a walk around the block before allowing them into the house. Seems to help Smile

saraclara · 13/05/2021 19:08

If it was your mum would you stop her bringing her dog?

Unless there was a specific problem, I wouldn't dream of saying no to a parent or in-law on this. Especially if it could mean they don't come at all after all this time of being apart. It just seems really unnecessary to me.

You say you haven't met this dog yet. Well if you don't let them bring it, you won't. If it turns out that it's a problem, then you deal with it as next you can, and you then have a reason to say that you can't have it next time, without seeming unreasonable.

I don't have dogs, but a much loved single elderly aunt had a companion dog, and I wouldn't have dreamed of saying no to her.

krustykittens · 13/05/2021 19:08

I have had dogs all my life and I have never brought them to other people's houses or assumed they are invited. If myself and DH go away for the weekend, then they either go to kennels or are looked after in the home by someone I can trust. If it's an evening out, they are fine with each other's company until we get home. They are also the perfect excuse to have Christmas at home every year. There is no need to bring your pets to other people's homes.

HopeForTheBestExpectTheWorst · 13/05/2021 19:09

This reply has been withdrawn

This has been withdrawn on request of the poster.

AmandaHoldensLips · 13/05/2021 19:09

My sister insisted on bringing her dog to my house and it took a massive shit in my dining room which muggins here had to clear up. Cost me a new carpet. She gave the usual "oh he's never done that before" excuse. I really hate that dog.

katy1213 · 13/05/2021 19:13

If somebody turned up here with a dog, I'd ask them to leave. They wouldn't get in the front door.
Although I can't think of anyone I know who's cheeky enough to try.