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AIBU?

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Original poster

Guests bringing dog to stay

281 replies

Vetyveriohohoh · 13/05/2021 18:18

As a dog owner, if you were going to stay at someone’s house would you assume your dog would go to? Would that change if the house you were visiting also had their own dog?

DH and I disagree... need outside help please

OP posts:
Superpanicky · 14/05/2021 17:50

If then people had a dog themselves I’d hope I could bring my dog but would definitely check first, if they didn’t have a dog I wouldn’t even consider bringing the dog as I know before I had dogs that would have been very unappealing to me but would have felt like I couldn’t have said no.

peppermintpat · 14/05/2021 17:53

I would never assume I could take my dog (and a chihuahua at that) to anybody's house without asking especially if they have their own dog who may not take kindly to having their space invaded.

godmum56 · 14/05/2021 18:05

I own a dog and it would stress him through the roof to have a visitor or to stay out of his own home. If I did invite someone to stay, i would be clear upfront that the invite is (sadly) for humans only. If I didn't have a dog i would expect my visitor to ask if the dog/cat/dinosaur/tatantula/axolotl was welcome.

Roxy69 · 14/05/2021 18:12

As a dog owner I would not assume my dog was welcome as well, I would ask and then politely decline if the answer was 'no'. My dog is more important to me than friends. You wouldn't ask someone to leave their child at home with a carer, and some of those are a lot more irritating than dogs.

Toomuchtrouble4me · 14/05/2021 18:12

No way as an adult but I did rock up to a friends flat for an overnight stay when I was 18 - it just didn’t occur to me that she wouldn’t love him. She wasn’t keen at all until we walked along the seafront and loads of dishy men stopped to talk to him and have a stroke - she then took the lead off me and walked him quite happily!
But I was young and stupid - a dog is not invited unless this is made very clear.

wildchild554 · 14/05/2021 18:28

Unless it was some sort of assisstance dog then no I wouldn't assume.

MollyMinniesMum · 14/05/2021 18:33

I’d never assume and I hate when people do

midnightstar66 · 14/05/2021 18:34

I would usually assume that she wasn't invited unless told otherwise apart from my parents where I know she absolutely is welcome,and perhaps my sister who I would check as I don't know her terrier all that well and not sure if he'd get on with mine (never met yet due to lockdowns).

Barmychick · 14/05/2021 18:50

Absolutely not ok to assume !

Spidey66 · 14/05/2021 18:59

I'm a dog owner, and while I try and bring her, I'd never assume and always ask.

We're going to my sister's later this month and want to bring her. My 11 year old niece is a little nervous but wants to get used to her. Also she has guinea pigs. We're planning to stay locally in a Travel lodge as they allow dogs...win win, I think. We can do our own thing with the dog but see them with the dog on a lead.

Barney60 · 14/05/2021 19:10

No dog no me, so i would check first.

lastqueenofscotland · 14/05/2021 19:17

I grew up with dogs, love dogs, I would NEVER assume a dog was invited and would actually be REALLY fucked off if someone just turned up with a dog.
My friend has a horribly behaved small dog that she brings everywhere to the extent we occasionally leave her out of events as it’s embarrassing when it inevitably misbehaves in somewhere it’s not really appropriate for it to be in the first place

Supermum29 · 14/05/2021 20:45

As I dog owner I wouldn’t assume my dog was invited. This would not change if they owned a dog..... visiting a non dog owner means they may not like to have a dog in their house and a dog owner may worry about how well their dog would behave to having another dog around.

cherish123 · 14/05/2021 21:11

Never assume. Always ask even if they have a dog. Not all dogs are the same. Some are better behaved/cleaner/smaller/less anxious than others.

ColdTattyWaitingForSummer · 14/05/2021 21:15

I’m not a dog owner (have elderly dcat) and I would absolutely not expect any visiting friends to show up with a dog! I wouldn’t be offended if they asked, but the answer would definitely be no.

PerspicaciousGreen · 14/05/2021 21:20

Surely the very existence of your own dog is an ideal get out clause. "Please don't bring Ddog as Rover isn't very good with strange dogs so we can't have Ddog in the house." It's not that you hate Ddog, it's just Rover's issues with other dogs in his territory. Nothing personal.

Yourcatisnotsorry · 14/05/2021 21:52

Definitely not! Dogs need an explicit invite unless you visit regularly and always take them etc.

Pinkrinse · 15/05/2021 10:27

As I dog owner I wouldn’t assume and would talk to the person who invited me to stay. Even if they said the dog was welcome I would make sure they understood any potential problems.

GabsAlot · 15/05/2021 10:39

no you dont assume and your dh is a wimp especially if he leave it to you to ask

thebakeoffwasntasgoodthisyear · 15/05/2021 10:44

God no, and I wouldn’t ask if the dog was invited either as it may put the guests on the spot. Our cat would absolutely hate a doggy guest too. We have a fabulous local boarding kennel & cattery nearby and always use it when we go away overnight.

Diamondnights · 15/05/2021 14:05

We have quite a few visitors (or did pre Covid). I have learned to include 'I am sorry but we cannot invite your dog' into the original invitation. I would not take my dogs to someone else's house - too much scope for things to go wrong!

OP, I think you need to to make it clear to your MIL that her dog is not invited, as soon as possible and get over the huffing in one go. Otherwise you will worry about it, probably be stuck with the dog and then (justifiably!) be cross with DH after!

AllTheUsernamesAreAlreadyTaken · 15/05/2021 14:07

I don’t even assume my kids are invited if I’m invited somewhere. I always ask.
So I’d never assume my dog was invited.

RRoonilWazlib · 15/05/2021 19:07

Oh god, I would be so stressed out taking my dog to someone elses house for an overnight stay, particularly if they had a dog themselves. I wouldn't be able to settle.

Super cheeky to just assume they can bring their dog to stay!

OutrageousFlavourLikeFreesias · 15/05/2021 21:50

I have cats. I have never assumed my cats are invited. I have friends with horses. They never assume their horses are invited. Dogs are lovely, but they don't get a special pass on being an automatic furry plus-one for every invitation. If the host would like to welcome their friend's dog, that's very kind of them, but they're not obliged to.

Chesneyhawkes1 · 15/05/2021 21:55

I'd assume my dogs weren't invited and even if they were, I wouldn't bring them.

Most people I know have cats and my dogs aren't good with them.