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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Guests bringing dog to stay

281 replies

Vetyveriohohoh · 13/05/2021 18:18

As a dog owner, if you were going to stay at someone’s house would you assume your dog would go to? Would that change if the house you were visiting also had their own dog?

DH and I disagree... need outside help please

OP posts:
Cosmos45 · 13/05/2021 20:13

[quote Delatron]@Cosmos45 kids and dogs really aren’t in the same league.[/quote]
not to me they're not..

Sitchervice · 13/05/2021 20:13

I had someone come view my flat who brought their dog with them. I have 3 cats... They just assumed it would be OK. 😒

Blossomtoes · 13/05/2021 20:14

I’d always ask. Nobody in our family or circle of friends would say no.

TokyoSushi · 13/05/2021 20:14

I wouldn't even check, I'd just assume not unless told otherwise!

Cosmos45 · 13/05/2021 20:14

[quote LST]@Cosmos45 of course kids are different. Bloody hell.[/quote]
Not to me they're not.. I would rather my dog in my home than some feral children to be honest.. matter of opinion I think

Delatron · 13/05/2021 20:15

@Cosmos45 ok! That explains your comment then.

LST · 13/05/2021 20:16

@Cosmos45 it isnt a matter of opinion at all. You cannot compare children and dogs in this situation. Your description of children just shows the type of person you are. Lovely.

SweatyBetty20 · 13/05/2021 20:16

I’m not a pet fan - dogs not welcome at mine, despite family putting huge pressure on. I relent at Xmas Day, but the last time they came one vomited up a child’s sock on a freshly cleaned carpet Envy (not envy)

Thehop · 13/05/2021 20:16

Just ask her

“The children are looking forward to seeing you both, who is Fido staying with?”

Palavah · 13/05/2021 20:22

If you don't want to invite the sog then make it clear eg - "we'd love to have you. The first and 2nd of the dates youve sugggested would suit us best. Have you already got dogsitters arranged or do you want to confirm once you've been able to arrange someone to look after the dog?"

FrangipaniBlue · 13/05/2021 20:24

[quote Vetyveriohohoh]@TolkiensFallow We do have a dog, I believe that’s why they assume it’s ok. He’s lovely and gentle but very excitable with other dogs. He’s never met this one (covid) and has never had another dog in his space for more than a few hours.[/quote]
My dog is friendly to other dogs when we're out and about...... but not a chance would he accept another dog in his house!

He doesn't even like it if our neighbours dog gets too close to the end of our drive 😂

SlipperyDippery · 13/05/2021 20:29

I do think children and dogs are different but I wouldn’t assume or ask to bring my children either if they hadn’t been invited

Mdghteryhddhh · 13/05/2021 20:30

You must be joking - dogs are not people nor are they family members?!

Looubylou · 13/05/2021 20:32

Dog owner until last year😪- wouldn't dream of assuming. As host, wouldn't risk upsetting my old dog if they hadn't met before.

Waiting423 · 13/05/2021 20:35

Wouldn’t even cross my mind to think a guest was bringing their dog .

1Morewineplease · 13/05/2021 20:35

We'd never assume that our dog was invited too unless specifically invited, otherwise it's doggy day care or kennels.

RedToothBrush · 13/05/2021 20:36

If I invited someone to stay and they assumed the invitation automatically extended to the dog without me explicitly saying that it could come too (which would never ever happen), I would be very very upset and unimpressed.

My house is a dogfree zone by choice.

RedToothBrush · 13/05/2021 20:38

@Vetyveriohohoh

Ah see I just wished theyd ask so he could say no. Instead I’m in limbo.
The default position is don't take it.

You are not in limbo.

Confusedandshaken · 13/05/2021 20:40

My sister did. She did it twice. He is a big boisterous dog and not particularly well trained and he terrified our cats. To be fair, he also scared my husband who doesn't like dogs. In the end I asked her not to bring him in future because of the cats and she was fine with it.

HippeePrincess · 13/05/2021 20:40

I wouldn’t go anywhere I couldn’t take my dog so our friends know any invite includes her. I’d rather not go than fork out for dog sitter and there’s no way I’d use kennels.

Feedingthebirds1 · 13/05/2021 20:43

The thing is, you've never met this dog so you don't know what it's like. In my (limited) experience, it's the owners who insist on bringing their dogs, that they never go anywhere without them, who also indulge and spoil the dogs in other ways too, and end up with out of control, untrained pets you definitely wouldn't want in the house.

OP I'm assuming from what you've written that there is a wider problem here, that of your DH never saying no to mummy?

CatherineMorland · 13/05/2021 20:44

No, I wouldn’t assume Ddog was invited. We board her out when visiting friends.

Original poster
Vetyveriohohoh · 13/05/2021 20:46

There is a wider problem yes, we are very much working on it. This ones niggling because he genuinely thinks I’m just being uptight...

@RedToothBrush if only my MIL
Knew that was the default I wouldn’t have anything to worry about

OP posts:
Oriunda · 13/05/2021 20:46

We never took our dogs anywhere when we were kids, aside from anything they were working dogs.

Has anyone asked about your children? How old are they? Is your MIL safe with kids?

It would be a ‘no’ from me. Potential for visit to be a disaster if MIL dog doesn’t get on with your dog and is nervous around kids or not safe with them.

tillyandmilly · 13/05/2021 20:47

your pets are your family - if I was invited to stay over at friends I would of course enquire whether that included my dog - if not I wouldn't go - simples.....