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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To refuse to sell this lady a puppy?

421 replies

ensete · 11/05/2021 14:42

I have a litter of working golden retrievers, i collated a waiting list before I had our bitch mated and I spent a long time speaking to interested parties to find the best homes I could do - this is how I have dealt with previous litters.
Both parents are working gundogs and I stated that whilst I didn't need working homes I would only consider active homes with the space to accommodate a large working breed.
One of the families who is on my list contacted me today just to say "hi, my husband and I have decided to split up, I will still be wanting the puppy but my address will now by Flat4a XYZ Town"
I messaged back to enquire what sort of set up it was and she confirmed it's a flat on the top floor with no garden or outside space. I've confirmed with her that I'm not happy to sell a puppy to a home without any outside space and I will refund her deposit immediately and advertise the puppy. She's refusing to give me her bank details and says she wants the pup and will take legal action if required. My argument is that the home I vetted is no longer the home she's offering and therefore I'm not willing to sell her the puppy. To me, changing the home on offer isn't dissimilar to her changing the amount of money she is willing to pay for the pup. The homes I find for puppies are very important to me, I'm not a big breeder, I've just had a litter for my own purposes to keep the next generation and I need to know my puppies are going to the right sort of home.

OP posts:
LadyWhistledownsQuill · 12/05/2021 20:39

[quote honeybee88]@twistered
OP? Dont know what that means? My sister lives in a flat with a big dog. She walks it ywice a day and it cones to work with her most days. When it doesn't she goes home at lunchtime to walk it. What is the problem with a flat? I personally wouldnt have a dog unless I lived on a farm as I would not be walking it. Not a dog lover really. But if I wanted one I sure as hell would get one and wouldnt put up with someone telling me I couldnt have one because I lived in a flat![/quote]
There's nothing wrong with a flat, so long as you have outside space. Indeed, the only thing that differentiates a flat from other form of housing (such as a bungalow) is the abcense of stairs, which doesn't matter to a dog. I have my dog in a flat with a garden, so no pearl clutching from me.

There is, however, the total impracticality of trying to housetrain a puppy when you're up two flights of stairs and have no outdoor space. Plus, the OP knows she will be out all day in the office and young puppies just won't cope with that, even with a dog walker. The original arrangement was that the STBXH was going to take puppy with him to work in agriculture.

The OP's responsibility is to her puppy, not to the potential purchaser's whims. As a responsible breeder, should the new owners not be able to keep the puppy, she'll take it back, but she has a vested interest in avoiding this happening. She's therefore very sensible to sell puppies only to those which are most likely to be forever homes.

Your attitude stinks, by the way.

kkwrighton1982 · 12/05/2021 20:42

Quite right too- clearly a totally unsuitable home for a gun dog.

honeybee88 · 12/05/2021 20:43

@twistered
I always get what I want.....lol.
Meh....in a bad mood....fancied an argument. My sis had no problem training her dog. You have a valid argument but I dont agree. Also I can have any attitude I want.....so let it stink.....hahaha

TatianaBis · 12/05/2021 20:45

A good friend of mine has just got a new golden retriever. Experienced dog owner and experienced with retrievers.

He has turned out to be MASSIVE. Which is fine as she has a big house + big garden.

But in a top floor flat - just no.

Workingfromhomeishell · 12/05/2021 20:45

You sound great. Be strong. You are doing the right thing.

Also- she sounds like shed be an awful dog owner for more than one reason.

Chilledchablis · 12/05/2021 20:52

YANBU
Thank goodness you are putting the needs of the puppy first and foremost. A top floor flat is no place to attempt to house train a puppy, especially a large working breed. Just wrong - full stop!

winniestone37 · 12/05/2021 21:00

You’re absolutely right in not selling her a puppy. Send a cheque via special delivery or hand deliver it yourself. If she’s in a flat she’ll hardly be able to afford legal fees and no judge will take her seriously.

theemmadilemma · 12/05/2021 21:02

100% correct decision.

Coffeemakesmehappy · 12/05/2021 21:13

YANBU.

Whilst it’s perfectly possible for a a really good owner to cater to a dogs needs when living in a flat, it takes absolute dedication, and a real understanding of what those needs actually are, according to breed/type.

The moment she mentioned taking legal action (yeah, crack on - like to see how!) she demonstrated EXACTLY what type of person she is. Anyone genuine would have come back to you with a detailed plan of exactly how they would manage a puppy in those circumstances, not threaten you with legal action!

Closetbeanmuncher · 12/05/2021 21:13

Shes clearly not the right person for the pup as she's putting her own wants before the dogs needs.

I think the cheque idea is good.

Jasmin82 · 12/05/2021 21:25

YANBU the woman comes across as one of these people who has never been told "no" in their life. Her reaction to being told no shows that. You're being a good breeder putting the needs of pup above the wants of a human.
She wants a GR puppy? I'm sure she can find a stuffed toy because that's the only way she'll have one living in a flat.

Pru24 · 12/05/2021 21:26

We are saving for a puppy and have been doing so much research etc. And I would just like to say; I hope when the time comes we find a caring and responsible breeder like yourself! You are not being unreasonable to refuse the sale when this person can no longer meet the criteria you set out. Good luck with it all and don't back down!

abeanbaked · 12/05/2021 21:32

Being the owner of a little golden nugget (maybe not so much little now - she's one) i 100% agree with you not giving her a puppy. They are yours. Our girl is from working parents and although we aren't a 'working home' we stay on a farm and have loads of room and stimulation for her. That being said, it has still been a steep learning curve training her this last year! I doubt the woman would cope to be honest and she doesn't sound like she has much respect for you so would be unlikely to contact you if she was unable to look after the pup. We have an agreement with our breeder that our doggo goes to either a family member or back to them if we are unable to care for them. You need to have a good relationship with your puppy owners!

Pru24 · 12/05/2021 21:32

@Coffeemakesmehappy so true and well said! My sister lives in a flat with a dog but he is a small lap dog type, gets walked every day for a good period of time and they have an outdoor space for the dog to get some fresh air and go to the toilet. They also made sure the dog type was suitable for a flat, never would they have considered a working dog that needs plenty of space indoors and out etc. This woman has made it clear she doesn't care for dog's needs and just wants a dog regardless of how her situation will affect the dog!

WildLadyLucy · 12/05/2021 21:48

But this could happen to any of your puppies a month after they go to their new homes and you'd be none the wiser?
You're doing the right thing in refusing her the dog, but really I'm not sure that breeding animals to sell on is ever truly ethical.

Kirkcat · 12/05/2021 21:50

Good point.Home check any other applicants carefully.Possibly put the price up

Queenofeverything44 · 12/05/2021 21:59

She broke the contract so you are within your rights to return her deposit. I would as others have said, I would send it by registered mail with a letter explaining how she has broken the terms of your agreement. If she gets shirty send a cease and decist letter then block her on everything. You have terms, she changed so was no longer able to fulfil those terms... Sorry but shit happens and she'll have suck it up.. Good luck

DispensingShitAdviceSince2002 · 12/05/2021 22:05

OP, all I can say is that you are 1000% a decent breeder, and this potential owner is thinking only about what a dog can offer her, not about what she can offer the dog.

As PP have said, refund her by cheque if need be. She shouldn't have any type of dog in that set-up, never mind a gundog. If she thinks she should, she is proving exactly why she shouldn't have a dog at all.

wheresmymojo · 12/05/2021 22:10

Just FYI she would get nowhere with legal action as long as you get the deposit back to her by recorded delivery cheque.

The only thing she could sue you for is breach of contract....then what 'loss' would the court award her damages for?

There's no such thing as damages for the 'loss' of a puppy you wanted but didn't get to have 🤷🏻‍♀️

wishywashywoowoo70 · 12/05/2021 22:17

Omg those babies are stunning.

GiftedFish · 12/05/2021 22:24

Fully Support you on this one. Well Done.
She thinking she's going to take legal action is pretty funny. 1) it'll cost her more than the deposit I'm guessing 2) she will just be laughed at 3) she's an immature spoilt little turd!

DADZ · 12/05/2021 22:50

You had a legally binding verbal contract. Problem with these type of contracts is they are hard to prove.
If either party doesnt fulfill their end of the contract, it becomes null and void. You have 0 responsability to her. Im surprised you even asked this. lol.
SImply tell her, I agreed to let the person who resides in the address that you checked out, to buy the pup. You no longer live there, so I wont sell it to you

ensete · 12/05/2021 22:50

Wow lots of opinions! @honeybee88 I'm sorry you think I'm a snob, we must have very different opinions on what constitutes an appropriate home for a large working breed, but as breeder it's my prerogative to find homes that mirror my own values, thankfully I don't think our paths will cross, but equally pleased to hear you wouldn't want a puppy from me.

As an update:

In anticipation that the cheque book will arrive in the next few days, I checked my account to confirm the name on the deposit and given the initial I was quite sure it was actually paid by her husband - lightbulb moment as I'm not sure why that hadn't occurred to me before.

I called him and ended up having a really good, honest and fair discussion. He paid the deposit and has given me his details to repay it which tally with the name details I have on the BACS transfer. He was very apologetic about the puppy which he absolutely didn't need to be, shit things happen sometimes. I transferred the money this afternoon and am just waiting for him to confirm receipt.

Thanks for everyone's input and thank you for those of you who have been so complimentary. I'm a mad dog lady and I do try to find the best homes I can for anything I breed. ☺️

OP posts:
DADZ · 12/05/2021 22:53

Threatening legal action, hhahaHAHAH BWAHAHHA, the threat of a person who has no case.

ArcheryAnnie · 12/05/2021 23:13

Thanks for the update, OP! It's nice to have it all sorted, with no further hassle.

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