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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To refuse to sell this lady a puppy?

421 replies

ensete · 11/05/2021 14:42

I have a litter of working golden retrievers, i collated a waiting list before I had our bitch mated and I spent a long time speaking to interested parties to find the best homes I could do - this is how I have dealt with previous litters.
Both parents are working gundogs and I stated that whilst I didn't need working homes I would only consider active homes with the space to accommodate a large working breed.
One of the families who is on my list contacted me today just to say "hi, my husband and I have decided to split up, I will still be wanting the puppy but my address will now by Flat4a XYZ Town"
I messaged back to enquire what sort of set up it was and she confirmed it's a flat on the top floor with no garden or outside space. I've confirmed with her that I'm not happy to sell a puppy to a home without any outside space and I will refund her deposit immediately and advertise the puppy. She's refusing to give me her bank details and says she wants the pup and will take legal action if required. My argument is that the home I vetted is no longer the home she's offering and therefore I'm not willing to sell her the puppy. To me, changing the home on offer isn't dissimilar to her changing the amount of money she is willing to pay for the pup. The homes I find for puppies are very important to me, I'm not a big breeder, I've just had a litter for my own purposes to keep the next generation and I need to know my puppies are going to the right sort of home.

OP posts:
ChequerBoard · 11/05/2021 15:04

Absolutely you are in the right here. Sounds like a lucky escape from a less than perfect would be owner!

PottyTrainingissues · 11/05/2021 15:04

It’s odd she even said if you’d assessed them already as surely you’d have never known and she would have picked the puppy up? Seems like she is wanting trouble

Do as others have advised send a cheque

Nightbear · 11/05/2021 15:05

You’re doing exactly the right thing. Sending her cheque (take a photo of it) by recorded delivery, as people have suggested, is a good plan. I’d also move forward the date or time of puppy collection with your other buyers if she’s aware of it to avoid any unpleasant scenes.

VanceRefridgeration · 11/05/2021 15:07

👏🏻 totally the right thing to do. Following others advice, cheque in mail

YolandiFuckinVisser · 11/05/2021 15:07

I refused to sell a puppy to someone I worked with for the same reason. She was very disappointed, her teenage daughter had set her heart on getting one of our pups, so she bought a doberman puppy elsewhere. The puppy was sent to a doberman rescue place within 2 months, she said she had no idea how difficult it would be to house train the dog and the flat was always full of shit. Poor puppy.

Tlollj · 11/05/2021 15:09

I think you are absolutely doing the right thing, but I wonder why she told you. She could have collected the pup and you’d be non the wiser.

osbertthesyrianhamster · 11/05/2021 15:10

YANBU. Cheque special delivery. She has no legal leg to stand on.

Docsmix · 11/05/2021 15:12

Good luck to her taking legal action. I wouldn't give one to her now and I wouldn't send a cheque either. You've offered a refund.

springiscoming12 · 11/05/2021 15:12

Yanbu and you are doing the right thing. It would be cruel to sell a dog of that size to someone who lives in an apartment.

3JsMa · 11/05/2021 15:12

While I would appreciate her honesty about the current situation,YANBU to refuse the pup.
Yes,you have an agreement but it was only valid until she moved to the flat which is unsuitable for the dog.
Send her a check and stick with your decision,there is nothing she can do about it.I hope you will find a different home for your dog.

DobbyTheHouseElk · 11/05/2021 15:13

You are in the right, she’s bonkers.

CaveMum · 11/05/2021 15:13

YADNBU, she's crazy.

Send a letter and a cheque recorded delivery and keep copies of all correspondence you've had with her.

For those who need a Golden Retriever fix, have you seen this place in Somerset which went viral recently - thegoldenretrieverexperience.com/

Blacktothepink · 11/05/2021 15:13

Yanbu, if only all breeders were like you!

ChubbyLittleManInACampervan · 11/05/2021 15:15

Yes, I agree, bunt ultimately you cannot guarantee a pups home

She could have divorced, and moved to a flat, a month after buying it

All your buyers could

Or a year after

She was honest with you

SofiaMichelle · 11/05/2021 15:15

Tell her to crack on with her legal action.

OldWivesTale · 11/05/2021 15:16

You had a contract and she has now changed the conditions of that contract so you are within your rights to refund her deposit and say no. A flat that's not ground flopr and has no garden is not suitable for any dog and certainly not a puppy.

mycatthinksshesatiger · 11/05/2021 15:16

Totally echo what everyone else said. And the new law on animal welfare might back you up further than previous laws. It would be knowingly cruel to sell her the puppy now as no way can their basic needs be met. You totally have the right to refuse the sale on animal welfare grounds. Well done for taking a stand on this.

I am totally opposed to breeding dogs for various reasons but you have changed my perspective on this today.

Nightbear · 11/05/2021 15:17

I meet a lovely 11 year old Golden called Henry when I walk my dog and I always want to take him home with me. I don’t think I could cope with the cuteness of retriever puppies

VickyEadieofThigh · 11/05/2021 15:19

YANBU.

Nightbear · 11/05/2021 15:21

If you buy from a good breeder the phone call is like a job interview and meeting the pup’s parents is like a workplace assessment.

countrygirl99 · 11/05/2021 15:22

@ChubbyLittleManInACampervan

Yes, I agree, bunt ultimately you cannot guarantee a pups home

She could have divorced, and moved to a flat, a month after buying it

All your buyers could

Or a year after

She was honest with you

Of course the future isn't guaranteed but the OP does know that this woman cannot offer a suitable home right now so is totally correct in refusing to sell her a puppy.
SirVixofVixHall · 11/05/2021 15:24

Agree with everyone else. Well done for being a responsible person OP.

Boomclaps · 11/05/2021 15:24

I guess the thing you want to check is it he flat a stopgap, we spent a few months in a grotty 3rd floor bed sit with no outside space on a main road with a dog due to emergency works. Yeah it was a pita but we very quickly moved to a 3 bed big garden open plan lovely home!

Barbitchurate · 11/05/2021 15:24

So, have you done home visits for all of your other adoptees?

How do you know none of them are living in a flat and not using a friends address?

spiderlight · 11/05/2021 15:25

Stick to your guns! She's understandably disappointed but your priority is your pup's welfare.

YABVVVU, however, not to post a photo of the puppies....

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