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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To refuse to sell this lady a puppy?

421 replies

ensete · 11/05/2021 14:42

I have a litter of working golden retrievers, i collated a waiting list before I had our bitch mated and I spent a long time speaking to interested parties to find the best homes I could do - this is how I have dealt with previous litters.
Both parents are working gundogs and I stated that whilst I didn't need working homes I would only consider active homes with the space to accommodate a large working breed.
One of the families who is on my list contacted me today just to say "hi, my husband and I have decided to split up, I will still be wanting the puppy but my address will now by Flat4a XYZ Town"
I messaged back to enquire what sort of set up it was and she confirmed it's a flat on the top floor with no garden or outside space. I've confirmed with her that I'm not happy to sell a puppy to a home without any outside space and I will refund her deposit immediately and advertise the puppy. She's refusing to give me her bank details and says she wants the pup and will take legal action if required. My argument is that the home I vetted is no longer the home she's offering and therefore I'm not willing to sell her the puppy. To me, changing the home on offer isn't dissimilar to her changing the amount of money she is willing to pay for the pup. The homes I find for puppies are very important to me, I'm not a big breeder, I've just had a litter for my own purposes to keep the next generation and I need to know my puppies are going to the right sort of home.

OP posts:
Dontwanttolivewithmylover · 12/05/2021 18:26

You did exactly the right thing, which is what any responsible and honest 'breeder' would do whether it's a dog, cat, horse or other animal or bird which needs a specific environment.
Take no notice. Just reiterate that you will return her deposit.
You have her address.
Did she pay cash or cheque as deposit?
If she persists in her demand then don't continue the back and forth dialogue.
Mail her a cheque and get it tracked/signed for but not by a neighbour OR, message to say that the deposit will be put aside ready for her to either collect in cash or cheque or until she furnishes you with her bank details which she has previously refused to do in order for you to return the deposit in a timely manner.
Keep copies of all messages, both yours and hers.
Then just get on with your life, the next move is hers.
No court would give her the time of day, she would have to finance it herself, she'd lose and have to pay her AND your costs.

SeedyM · 12/05/2021 18:27

We rehomed a 9 month old lurcher pup early last year who had been kept in a flat with no garden. She was very well loved. She had to toilet on the balcony. The family had expected to move to a house but change of circumstances made it impossible so I don't completely blame them. She was doing zoomies round their flat through frustration and lack of exercise. They did the right thing and gave her up but it broke their hearts as well as being very sad and confusing for the dog. She is still full of energy and would accidentally wreck a flat in minutes! You are doing the right thing for this family as well as your puppy.

fidgi · 12/05/2021 18:29

Well done you. Your original agreement forms a contract which the prospective client has effectively broken. Try going down the registered postage route with a cheque first, then follow up with a solicitors letter if she continues obdurate. Best wishes.

Dontwanttolivewithmylover · 12/05/2021 18:33

@fidgi
It makes no sense to send a solicitor a letter.
It means nothing in real terms and depending on the area in which you live, can cost from £60 - £150+

Dontwanttolivewithmylover · 12/05/2021 18:33

Correction. A solicitor's letter.

Happyd · 12/05/2021 18:37

Your right on this, send a cheque again stating why who home is not suitable.. and advice her to get a smaller breed if her tenancy allows dogs

ArcheryAnnie · 12/05/2021 18:39

Well done for being a responsible breeder. YANBU

chaosmaker · 12/05/2021 18:43

Well done in being a responsible breeder, OP. No way should this woman have one of the pups. She is definitely in a different position in terms of space and she is putting herself and not the dog first. No sale. I would also send a cheque to the address she gave and be done with it.

lollywoody · 12/05/2021 18:44

Vet here. YANBU. Contact RSPCA who will fully back you up. Also get your vets advice. Both in writing. Maybe a puppy would cope with a very diligent and dedicated owner. However, when the dog becomes old and arthritic or needs to avoid stairs for any reason, it would be a nightmare.

honeybee88 · 12/05/2021 18:45

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Elliania · 12/05/2021 18:50

@honeybee88

Get off your high horse! Wtf. Its a dog. She is going to walk it! If I was her I wouldn't want a dog off you...you seem like a right bitch. She has just broken up with her husband and now you are taking her puppy away. Jeez....if I ever wanted a dog...at least now I know to lie and say I live in a biiig house with a biig garden....
And you sound like an entitled bitch. You do realise that most pet rescues and responisble breeders will do a home check right? Also good to know you're so entitled & selfish that you'd lie to someone trying to make sure their animals go to suitable homes rather than do the right thing and only get an animal when you can properly provide for its' needs.
Bertiebiscuit · 12/05/2021 18:57

Well done responsible breeder - YANBU.

THEDEACON · 12/05/2021 19:01

We were farmers now retired to penthouse flat no garden We homeboard all sorts of breeds for a franchise the owner reckons we exercise and give the dogs far better experience than many who have a garden and only toilet and exercise the dogs in garden Your puppy your choice but ......

MidsummerMimi · 12/05/2021 19:05

Well done.You have put the welfare of the pup first.
You were clear from the beginning that certain conditions needed to be met by potential owners.
I have a rescue dog, she is a highly active breed (Staffy Husky Cross).
She has a 4 hour a day exercise requirement, which I provide, even though she is now almost 13 years old.
She entered rescue 7 years ago, because her owners lived in a third floor flat and were unable to give her the time and space she required.

cherish123 · 12/05/2021 19:06

YANBU. Send her a cheque in the post and email to tell her you have done this, explaining your reasons. It might also be worth consulting a solicitor to see exactly where you stand legally.

granniesbonnet · 12/05/2021 19:12

Hi please don’t let her have the puppy. I used to work as a volunteer vetting homes for potential boxer dogs. Refusal can offend but you are right to put the dogs welfare first. One couple I sold a puppy to split up and I had to find a new home for him. Very unsettling for the dog.

evian76 · 12/05/2021 19:16

YANBU - she is not a responsible dog owner if she’s willing to have a GR puppy in a flat, that’s cruel and no animal charity would allow a family to adopt a large dog if they have a flat with no garden. Maybe send her links to animal charities who explicitly state this on their website, like Battersea or the Blue Cross. If it’s a large flat they could consider adopting a little apartment dog. You sound like a really lovely breeder :)

MidsummerMimi · 12/05/2021 19:19

Well done for putting the welfare of your pup first.
I have a rescue Staffy Husky cross.
She requires a minimum of 4 hours exercise a day, which I provide.
She is now 12 years old and has not slowed down.
She entered rescue because she lived in a third floor flat and did not get the freedom and time she needed.
She needed 9 months of one to one behavioural training to address the problems caused by inadequate ownership.
The home needs to match the energy requirements of the dog.

heather2908 · 12/05/2021 19:19

You are 100% right to do this. I have a border collie and I could not have managed her as a puppy in a flat with no outside access. She’s constantly on the go (although she can be a bit of a couch potato when it’s raining - her working sheepdog parents would probably be horrified!) and she needs so much exercise.

When I got her, the breeder asked our circumstances and I explained that I was a teacher and my husband was a prison officer so she would go to my (very active) mum through the days that we were at work so the breeder asked to meet my mum too. I loved that. It showed that these were not breeders basing everything around money. They actually needed a new generation of sheepdogs so kept two themselves and sold the rest. I was at the farm spending time with my puppy when they were vetting a new owner and they were VERY thorough (they said no to the potential new owners in the end because they didn’t understand the breed) which I think is a great attitude.

Send her a cheque and move forward in the knowledge that you are doing right by your puppies. I’d hazard a guess that if you went ahead with the sale, there’d be an advert on Facebook or somewhere 12 months down the line when the puppy is bigger and knocking things over with its tail and eating everything in sight, selling because she “can’t give it what it needs.”

heather2908 · 12/05/2021 19:21

And your puppies are beautiful! They deserve amazing owners who can give them exactly what they need.

Queencranberry · 12/05/2021 19:22

You absolutely did the right thing. We have a 4 month old working lab pup and we have a big garden, work from home, have lots of countryside for walks are massively working dog experienced and know what we are doing and I had forgotten JUST what hard work they are at this age because it's 7 years since I had a high energy big working breed pup.

To do it all in a top floor flat would be utter insanity.

CrazyCatLazy · 12/05/2021 19:23

@honeybee88

Get off your high horse! Wtf. Its a dog. She is going to walk it! If I was her I wouldn't want a dog off you...you seem like a right bitch. She has just broken up with her husband and now you are taking her puppy away. Jeez....if I ever wanted a dog...at least now I know to lie and say I live in a biiig house with a biig garden....
And this is why good breeders and rescue centres vet people.
LipstickLou · 12/05/2021 19:25

The potential owner broke the contract. Do not feel bad about this. If she wishes to sue you, so be it. I doubt she would win. I would also check any new buyer just incase she sets up a friend to secure the dog.

hermesandhades · 12/05/2021 19:25

Our golden retriever is hardly happy with our good sized garden! He gives us that 'is that it?' look after a good run in the woods. They need to be able to rush outside and just be outside sometimes, plus they love the coolest spot for a good snooze.
A flat is such a bad idea, everyone would be miserable.
Your puppy your decision, it's not like you'll have problems finding a suitable situation for your pup. We'll have him Smile

WiddlinDiddlin · 12/05/2021 19:26

@honeybee88

Get off your high horse! Wtf. Its a dog. She is going to walk it! If I was her I wouldn't want a dog off you...you seem like a right bitch. She has just broken up with her husband and now you are taking her puppy away. Jeez....if I ever wanted a dog...at least now I know to lie and say I live in a biiig house with a biig garden....
I hope you know that puppies need to go outside to the toilet, with very little notice, probably 15 times a day and several times through the night, and will need to do that for several months until they are aware of their bladder/bowel and can ask and wait.

Fortunately you seem to know so very little about what a puppy needs that any breeder with half a brain cell would see through your lies and reject you.

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